


Love, Loss and Legacy

by Spicaa



Category: Hunger Games Series - All Media Types, Hunger Games Trilogy - Suzanne Collins
Genre: F/M, Family Drama, Fertility Issues, Post-Canon, Some Humor, Some Sex, Some angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-15
Updated: 2018-03-29
Packaged: 2019-03-05 05:07:10
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 60,208
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13380798
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Spicaa/pseuds/Spicaa
Summary: One year after returning to District 12 and living in a united Panem, Haymitch goes back to the Capitol and learns that Effie has a very peculiar project.





	1. Reunions

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I started this story weeks ago and I must say I'm very nervous about the feedback I'll receive, mainly because I haven't posted more than one-shots in just about two years. But I'm excited to be writing for a new fandom and I hope everyone likes it! 
> 
> I'm going by the book universe in everything but the time that passed between Katniss killing Coin and going back home - this part is just like the movie, she went home right afterwards. So, yes, Effie was taken as a prisoner in this story. After Ch. 3, we'll have a big time jump and the rest of the story will happen then.
> 
> Chapters 1-3 are from Haymitch's POV, 4-6 are from Effie's, 7-9 are from Haymitch's again, and 10-12 from Effie's.
> 
> I have most of the story written, and right now it's going to have 12 chapters, but since I'm still writing Ch. 11 that could change. You never know with writing.
> 
> This is a Hayffie story, but there'll be Peeta/Katniss as well. Johanna, Annie and Finnick's son (I call him Levi here, pronounced Leh-vee) will feature as well.
> 
> Any mistakes are my own!
> 
> Anyway, hope everyone likes it!

The party was in full swing when Haymitch arrived, which suited him just fine; he quickly accepted a glass of whisky from a waiter passing by and made his way through the crowd that was watching President Paylor's speech with interest. Although Haymitch had nothing against the woman, he paid no attention whatsoever to her words — he knew most likely what it was about and he wasn't sure he really wanted to rejoice in it.

Not that he wasn't happy that Panem was united at last, or that this evening was about celebrating the anniversary of such union; it was simply that in the end of all things, his life hadn't really changed a whole lot since the war ended. He still had to make trips to the Capitol occasionally. He still had nightmares about his arena and all the kids he had to mentor afterwards. He still hated giving interviews and he still loved booze.

He had his geese, though. And the kids. And new nightmares about the Rebellion but those were to be expected. He supposed that wasn't so bad, all in all. Not sending kids to death every year and being able to travel freely was definitely a plus, even if he didn't do a lot of traveling himself.

Nevertheless, he still abhorred social functions and he only attended the party because someone from Twelve had to, and since Katniss couldn't and he sure as hell wouldn't make Peeta go through this, he was the next obvious choice.

And also because Heavensbee pretty much told him he had to, having been one of the leaders of the Rebellion.

The speeches done, Haymitch greeted a few people, not really stopping long for any conversation, spent maybe five minutes talking to Gale Hawthorne before excusing himself to find another drink, managed to find himself a seat by the bar and intended to stay there for the rest of the party (when would it be appropriate for him to leave, he wondered? Not that he was that concerned about propriety) when someone dropped on the seat next to him and he looked sideways with little interest.

"Some things never change, do they?" Johanna's tone was as soft and snarky as ever. Her hair was still short but much longer than he had last seen her, and she had gained a few pounds in the past year. She looked healthier, but her eyes were still haunted. He was sure his were the same — they all were. "They may have taken those wigs and skin paintings off, and maybe there aren't avoxes anymore, but look at this."

Haymitch turned around to face the party. To be fair, she was right. Although the extravagant wigs and arts were apparently not in fashion anymore, Capitols — and even some District people, he noticed — still wore ridiculous clothes and electric colors. He was personally glad this still hadn't hit Twelve. Johanna herself wore a dark red dress that he personally thought looked very nice in her figure.

He arched his eyebrows and turned back around towards the bar, taking a sip from his whisky.

"How's Annie?" he asked, though Peeta kept him updated on the victor's news.

"She's fine. Couldn't come, you understand. She's still crazy," Johanna let out a humorless laugh before sobering up. "Levi keeps her sane. He's a good baby. I only came because she insisted. Says we owe them."

Haymitch shook his head slightly. Johanna snickered.

"I know," she shook her head. "We think they don't own us anymore, but they kind of do."

There was a moment of pause when the bartender handed Haymitch another drink and Johanna ordered one.

"They need us. It's different," Haymitch finally said. "They need our support. It'll get better eventually."

"You mean like life got better?" she offered. "I get that it's better. I'm happy Snow and his people died. Annie has her son and Peeta and Katniss have each other like the star-crossed lovers they always were," she rolled her eyes, "but what do we have?"

The bartender finished Johanna's drink and she lifted it to Haymitch in mock salute.

"Booze," he said, and she laughed, though there was no real humor in it.

She drank her entire glass at once and turned around to watch the party unfold. Haymitch took no notice; he and Johanna had always gotten on well in the past but they were hardly the best of friends.

"And speaking of which, here comes booze's worst enemy," Johanna proclaimed loudly, making Haymitch turn around.

The sight did make him smile slightly, though not enough that anyone who didn't know him would notice. In all the years they had worked together, he had rarely been happy to see Effie Trinket walking towards him. This was not one of those occasions.

Although they had promised to stay in touch when the war was properly over, he and Effie never actually spoke afterwards; the promise had been tentative at most. She still had a long way to recovery after her time imprisoned and he had been too busy with Katniss to think about their friendship — if that was the correct term to determine whatever it was that they were. He knew from Peeta that she was doing fine, though — completely recovered, the boy had said, and working for the new government after having received immunity from Paylor at Katniss' request.

Still, she was different — different from the last time he had seen her, of course, but she  _looked_ different from before as well.

"Johanna," Effie said, reaching Seven's victor first and Haymitch was surprised that they actually hugged. Her hair was styled in a bun at the top of her head and he was pretty sure it was her real hair, considering the color. He was glad her eyebrows weren't bleached and the makeup wasn't too strong. She moved towards him. "Haymitch."

Their embrace was brief and it surprised him. He had not expected her to be so affectionate, although he couldn't really complain. She hadn't exactly agreed with him when he told her he'd go back to Twelve. He hadn't invited her, and she hadn't asked. He had mentioned he didn't want to go to the Capitol ever again, and she hadn't replied. Yet here he was. Here she was.

She had changed her perfume.

"Nice dress," he commented. She was wearing a long, slightly puffy dress and he couldn't help but notice that the cleavage was pretty nice. It was discreet, compared to what she used to wear in the past. She looked good.

"My goodness, is that a compliment?" Effie laughed, her accent already contributing to a headache he was quite sure he'd develop soon. "Things do change! I couldn't believe it when Peeta told me you were actually attending the celebration."

"Got some business with Plutarch this week," Haymitch shrugged. "Thought it'd be good to come."

"You mean Peeta asked you to," Effie said, before turning her attention to Johanna. "How is baby Levi doing?"

"He's fine. He's great at sitting nowadays," Johanna rolled her eyes, but Haymitch knew she meant well.

"And the children?" Effie looked at him again. "Of course I call Peeta regularly but since I'm not there I cannot actually be sure they're doing well."

"They're good, sweetheart," Haymitch told her. "You could always visit, you know."

"Yes, right. I could," she seemed uncertain for a moment. There was a brief moment of silence. "Well, I hope you're enjoying yourselves."

"Sure. Free drinks," Johanna smiled. "Bet you're enjoying your last days of freedom too, huh, Trinket?"

Haymitch frowned. Effie seemed disconcerted — it wasn't something he was used to, seeing Effie silent and uncertain and not babbling his brains out.

"I'm being transferred to Four in two weeks," she clarified, but for some reason Haymitch thought there was more to it. "This is my last week of work here, actually. But since my job is PR, Johanna, tonight is more about work than fun for me."

"As is everything, per usual," Johanna rolled her eyes. "Is the party still on, then?"

"In two days?" Effie asked. "Why, yes, as far I'm aware, it is. You know Octavia, she's a little emotional about all this," she told them, and Haymitch finished his glass, wondering what world was this where Johanna and Effie went to parties  _together_. "Octavia and Flavius are throwing a little party for me, to wish me luck. You're invited, of course. It's all very informal. If I had known you were coming, I—"

"Don't worry, sweetheart."

"No, no, I really do hope you'll come," Effie was quick to say. "I mean, we  _are_ friends, and you're in the Capitol, you should come."

He should have said no right away, of course, as he had no intention of going to some farewell party to Effie when it would make no difference to him whether she moved to Four or Thirteen or whatever, but for some reason he couldn't make himself decline.

"I'll see what I can do."

This seemed to make Effie happy. "Okay, I'll take it," she said with a smile that did reach her eyes. "If you'll excuse me, duty calls. I look forward to seeing you around, Haymitch."

He watched as she walked away. She looked healthy, much better than she did a year ago. The dress fit her well and he couldn't help but stare at her hips a little — he was only a man, after all. There was something, though — she was different.

Haymitch looked back to Johanna only to find her shaking her head. He opted to ignore it.

"So when did you and my escort become such close friends?"

"We were roommates for a while, during the war," she said nonchalantly, and Haymitch could have kicked himself.  _Of course_. "And she's not your escort anymore," she reminded him, standing up. "Do come to Octavia's party, Haymitch. I think it'll be  _really_ fun."

And with those parting words, Johanna left, and Haymitch recognized the challenge in them, and even though he was well aware that he and Johanna probably did not share the same definition of fun... He was curious.

* * *

He saw her again the next day as he was leaving Plutarch's office. The elevator was empty when he got in and he had been leaning against the wall lazily when the doors opened and she stood there. Their eyes locked for a second longer than necessary and if he had thought the party meeting had gone well because it hadn't been awkward, he couldn't have anticipated how uncomfortable this was.

He recovered first.

"Going down, Sweetheart?"

She blinked before stepping into the elevator.

"Hello to you too, Haymitch," she said tightly, smoothing down her skirt as the doors closed. She was wearing a dark blouse and a purple pencil skirt. The bag she was carrying was also purple. The color reminded him of an eggplant. "You'd think your manners would have improved."

He snickered, biting down a remark.

"So, you work here?" he asked instead.

"For the time being, yes," she answered. He tried not to stare too much, but she was clearly making an effort. "Plutarch offered me the job. I was… it was very kind of him, I was a little lost after the war."

"Yeah, I can see that," Haymitch nodded thoughtfully.

"Well, you weren't here to—" she stopped herself as Haymitch flinched. "I apologize. That was uncalled for. I understand why you left."

He arched his eyebrows. "Do you?"

The doors opened and they were on the ground floor, finally. Effie did not reply. They left the elevator quietly.

"Listen, I, uh, I know it's kinda early but we could have a drink somewhere?" the words stumbled out of his mouth before he could stop them. He had no idea what he was doing. Effie stopped in her tracks and looked at him strangely. "It's not… not anything fancy, just so we could talk."

A small smirk crossed her face. "Don't worry, I wasn't thinking you were asking me on a date," she looked around the lobby, where more people were leaving the building. "I know you better than that," she muttered under her breath. "I can't drink, actually. I'm sorry. But I'm up for a coffee."

"Sounds good to me."

* * *

The coffee shop was right across the street and surprisingly cozy, or as cozy as anything in the Capitol would be. Effie seemed to be a regular as she hadn't even looked at the menu and he remembered what a pain she used to be in restaurants before the war. There was only so much questioning a waiter could take, and Haymitch had seen more than one break under Effie's gaze.

He really liked this new fashion trend where women didn't really wear much makeup. He wasn't sure how many times he had seen Effie looking as natural as she did now but they hadn't been many. Her demeanor was pretty much the same now, though — she spoke loudly and babbled about her job and he hadn't even made many questions. Years of working side by side taught him a lot about her, and he knew there was something off right away. Perhaps she was nervous, or she simply didn't want him to know exactly what she was thinking. He had always been quite good at that.

"Why are you moving to Four?" he interrupted her as she told him about what a mess it was to find good staff to her department.

The question threw her off a little. She hated being interrupted, he knew.

"Really, Haymitch, I was in the middle of a story," she pursed her lips. "Plutarch offered me the transfer. I'll have my own team there. I'm quite good at PR, you know. This is a promotion to me."

"You never wanted to leave the Capitol before," he offered as an explanation, but he knew she understood what he wasn't saying.

 _You_   _didn't_   _want_   _to_   _come_   _to_   _Twelve_.

Effie was silent, and she was spared a reply when the waitress brought their orders. Haymitch spiked some whisky from his flask into his coffee and ignored her staring.

"My mother died," Effie said, lowering her eyes and taking a sip of her coffee. "You know she was the last of my family."

"Yes. I'm sorry."

"It's alright. After my father and my brother… Well, let's just say it wasn't a surprise. She died about six months ago," she explained. "It's hard for me to understand that this is life now. I'm not complaining. I'm lucky, I know that. But it's hard. There's nothing for me here anymore."

Haymitch nodded. He knew the feeling.

"I'm moving to Four for my career but I think it'll be good to get away. I would like to travel through the districts some day. See how everything's changed."

"Sounds like a good project."

"I feel like… Well, one has to be optimistic," she laughed. "If everything's changed and I'm changed, I might as well change my life with it. I can't stick to the past. If I do, I'll go mad," she turned to look outside the window absentmindedly. Haymitch took a big sip of his coffee. When he looked up, she was looking at him again. "I mean, it could be worse. We're here, so that must mean something. We can be friends, right?"

Were they ever friends, though?

"Right," he answered mechanically.

"Because I… I really would like your opinion on something," she took a deep breath and straightened her posture. Haymitch arched his eyebrows. "I trust you will be honest."

"Ain't I always, Princess?"

"Too much, sometimes. Well, I… you'll end up knowing anyway," she said quickly, and Haymitch thought it was all rather comical. "I want to have a child."

That didn't sound right. Effie, a mother?

That was a stretch.

"Come again, Sweetheart?"

"I want to have a child," Effie declared once more. Okay, so he had heard her correctly. "This is my project. The move to Four is actually part of it. I thought I'd adopt, because that would be much easier — especially on my figure — but as it turns out being a former escort means they won't accept me."

Haymitch stared at her.

"And of course, there aren't many— well, there aren't many children available in the area," she breathed quickly. "So my first option was out, you understand. I could try a surrogate but that is equally complicated. So I'm actually going to get pregnant."

And now she was staring at him, and he felt like he must say something.

"So you're not yet?" he asked dumbly.

"No, not yet. That's what Johanna meant by my last days of freedom," Effie told him. "It's quite exciting, really. The procedure will be done in two days, hopefully it'll work, but the hardest part was done already, which was choosing the donor. You have no idea the type of men they have in these catalogs, Haymitch."

"I really have no idea," he agreed, then sat back and crossed his arms. "You want to get pregnant. And have a baby."

Effie blinked.

"Yes."

"You want to be a mother?  _You_?"

"There's no need to be rude, Haymitch," she hissed. "Yes, I do. You do understand I looked after children for over ten years. I  _am_ good with children."

"Sure, yeah, children who were going to die," Haymitch added, and he knew that wasn't the right thing to say the moment the words left his mouth.

"There's no need to bring that up," Effie said quietly. "Children won't die anymore, Haymitch. I never actually wanted them but I see the country we are now and I like to think of the future. And I'm… well, I'm alone. I have no family, I'm thirty-four, I… I'm not like you, Haymitch. I can't go home to an empty house and drink myself to sleep forever. I need something to live for."

"And you think getting a child is what will make you feel that."

"Don't say it like that, I'm not getting a pet."

"Are you sure this isn't related to your family being gone?"

"Of course it's related!" Effie hissed. "But as far as I'm aware that's not a bad reason to want to have a child. The way I see it, wanting one is enough reason to have one."

"Okay," Haymitch shook his head slightly and took a deep breath. "Okay. And you're not doing it the traditional way? Not waiting for your Prince Charming to show up in his sports car and well trimmed beard and knock you off your feet?"

Effie chuckled. "Let's be honest, that is very unlikely. I'm not that young anymore, and I don't necessarily… I intimidate men, Haymitch. I'm a former escort who works for the government and spent months in the peacekeepers' captivity. People don't know where I stand. Most people don't recognize me, not really, but as soon as I say my name… well. You know how it is," she sighed. "And I can't do it the traditional way, anyway. It is extremely unlikely that I should conceive naturally."

"Ah, that's why you're not drinking."

She nodded. "Increasing my chances on it working the first time by keeping sober and taking my vitamins."

"Damn, this is really a project, isn't it? Do you have your schedules and all?"

Effie glared at him. "Language. And yes, as a matter of fact, I do."

Haymitch closed his eyes for a moment. Effie Trinket, a mother. By choice. She actually wanted to reproduce. Okay.

"And, uh, you mentioned a catalog?"

"Yes, to choose the donor. It was dreadful, really," she feigned a shudder. "It's actually a very common practice here in the Capitol so many women and couples are doing it, but the fertility rate from District donors is much higher."

"Can't say I'm surprised."

"Please, don't be crude," it was more of a warning than a request, Haymitch noticed. "Anyway, I chose a man from Three, actually. A teacher, so he's smart."

"You're going to be inseminated by a random guy you don't know."

"Well, I've met him, and I don't like that term, Haymitch," she cringed. "He's quite nice. If you come to the party tomorrow he will be there and you can meet him."

"What party?"

"The one Flavius and Octavia are organizing, of course," Effie said. "It's actually a getting pregnant party. It's the latest trend here in the Capitol."

"The latest trend is to have a baby by a random guy's semen and throw a party about it. Of course, I should have known," he ditched the coffee and drank straight from his flask.

"I hope—I hope you're happy for me, Haymitch," Effie said, and that made him look at her again. "I know you think this is very different but it is what I want. And I hope you understand that."

She looked serious. Haymitch gulped the last of the whisky and felt it burn down his throat in the familiar, soothing way it always did. He shrugged, and took a moment to look at her — to really see her. The Effie Trinket he knew would have never gone out in public without at least a heavy layer of powder covering her face, and she wouldn't have been wearing such somber clothes (even if she still looked like an eggplant), and she wouldn't have talked to him about having a child or moving to live in a district or ditching all the wigs she used to have.

He supposed people did change. And he did understand. It didn't mean he agreed, though.

"Yeah. Sure, Effie," he said at last. "You want a kid. You should have a kid."

She glared at him.

"Please don't use that tone with me, Haymitch."

"What tone?"

"That… That tone right there, the one you use when you think I'm delusional and this is just another trend that will be over in two months," Effie told him impatiently. "I'm not a child. Don't patronize me. I know exactly—no. No, I'm not going to argue with you," she said indignantly, taking a deep breath and closing her eyes. "We're past that. I'm not your escort anymore."

Haymitch chuckled. "No. You're not," he didn't know why the words sounded so bitter to him. But she was right. For once, he knew she was right. "Sorry, Sweetheart. You should do what you think is best for you. And if that's a kid, then… I sure hope they won't be as talkative as you."

Effie did smile at that. It was tentative at first, and then it reached her eyes and he knew it was real. He smiled back, only slightly.

"You only say that," she said nonchalantly. "I know you miss listening to my voice when you're alone with your geese."

Haymitch frowned. "How do you know about my geese?"

"Peeta, of course," Effie shrugged. "Really, Haymitch? Geese? You really couldn't choose a normal animal for a pet, such as a dog or a cat or a tortoise?"

He scrunched up his nose. "Since when is a tortoise a normal pet?"

"More so than geese, I'm sure."

They talked of trivial things — or, rather, Effie did, because Haymitch was not good at small talk at all, or at least not when he didn't feel like making an effort. It was dark by the time they left the café, though not yet late, and he was contemplating emptying his hotel room's fridge when Effie looked at him expectantly.

"I actually have some things I'd like you to take to the children, if you wouldn't mind. I was going to send it to them, but since you're here, that would be easier. And quicker," she added. "Unless you have plans tonight, of course. You can always stop by before you go back to Twelve."

The offer was there. He remembered fairly well where her apartment was. He also remembered what happened the last time he was there.

It was a bad idea.

He found himself nodding.

"Sure. Lead the way, Princess."


	2. Present

He wasn’t sure what to expect of Effie’s apartment, if he was honest with himself. The last time he had been there, the whole place had been abandoned and all her things had been moved by peacekeepers or invaders, they couldn’t have been sure. And in the past her apartment had been the epitome of order, very colorful and futuristic. Although Effie usually remained cheerful and optimistic, she wasn’t as loud or as talkative as she used to be.

Still, the apartment remained the epitome of order. She still had most of the same furniture so it was pretty much as colorful as ever.

She told him to sit down and make himself comfortable in the living room, and he knew for a fact that the sofa was very uncomfortable, so he chose the armchair instead, while Effie left to get whatever it was that she needed to give to the kids. It turned out the armchair was very uncomfortable as well. He rose and sat on the sofa.

Effie returned moments later with two boxes. She laid them on the coffee table and turned to Haymitch.

“Oh, where are my manners? Would you like something to drink, Haymitch?” she offered. Always the hostess. “I don’t have whiskey or vodka, which I know you prefer, but there’s wine.”

“Only if you drink with me, Sweetheart,” he arched his eyebrows.

“I’ve never known you to decline alcohol,” Effie pursed her lips. “Well, I suppose one glass or two won’t make much of a difference.”

She left him once more, and Haymitch made himself comfortable on the sofa, or as much as he could. He eyed the boxes with some caution, wondering what sort of frivolity Effie wanted to give to the kids now. She was back a moment later, with two glasses and a bottle of red wine. It was automatic, really, that he would reach out for the bottle to open it, and she let him — he blamed it on the many years they worked together, but it was more than that. He knew it was more than that.

He chose not to comment on it.

She handed him the corkscrew and he opened the bottle and poured the wine into the two glasses. Wordlessly, they raised their respective glasses towards each other before drinking. He thought nothing of Effie sitting beside him on the sofa. He knew that was her favorite spot.

He wondered what that said about them.

“So,” he started, feeling the pleasant taste of the wine even after he had gulped it, “what’s in the boxes?”

It took her a second to reply, as she drank more slowly than he did. Manners, he guessed. He could never get the hang of it.

“Clothes. Accessories,” Effie said. “From Cinna and Portia. They found these in his apartment, I don’t know why no one ever threw them away. Plutarch said I should have them and pass them to the children when I had the chance. It’s not much, but… well, I hope Katniss will like it.”

Haymitch shrugged. “She doesn’t care much for fashion, you know.”

“No,” she agreed, “but she cares for Cinna. If he made these for her, then she should have them. They’re beautiful, anyway. There’s a lovely white dress that could make for a wedding gown these days — why, fashion has changed so much. Perhaps if she and Peeta ever get there again, she’ll wear it.”

“Perhaps,” Haymitch left it at that.

“How are they, Haymitch? _Really_ ,” Effie asked with pleading eyes. “I ask Peeta and he says he’s better, but I have no idea how… with each other, I mean. They used to be so close.”

Haymitch took a deep breath.

“Well, you know,” he started, “they both have nightmares. Most of us do. Peeta has flashbacks. They happen every now and then. We know not to touch him when that happens. He still has trouble figuring out what’s real and what’s not. The girl can handle herself. They still live across from each other.”

“Small steps,” Effie offered.

He nodded.

“Yeah. They’ll get there,” he said honestly. “They’re resilient like that.”

Effie nodded and took another sip of her wine. He noticed her glass was nearly empty. Perhaps she didn’t drink as slowly as she used to.

They were silent for a few seconds. There was something about her, though. She was different. It wasn’t just the makeup, or the lack of wigs, or the lack of colorful ridiculous clothes. The last time he had seen her he had been helping Peeta into his home, and her eyes looked empty and they had refused to meet his. She couldn’t stay, she had said. He had never even asked if she could.

Perhaps he should have.

“How are _you_ , Effie? Really,” he repeated her tone, though he did not mean it in a sarcastic way. “You’re different. I don’t mean your appearance. Just… this baby talk. Moving to District 4. How are you coping?”

She met his eyes then. He remembered a time where he could read them in a second — it didn’t matter if she was naked in his bed or they were surrounded by sponsors and she was wearing her puffy outfits. He could always read her eyes very well.

He had no idea what she was thinking now.

“I don’t have nightmares, if that’s what you’re asking,” he thought she would have rolled her eyes if she didn’t have her precious manners. “I used to have insomnia. I still do. You know as well as I do that this isn’t recent,” she added at his questioning glance. “I take very effective antidepressants before bed. They don’t affect my current treatment. They help.”

“You don’t have flashbacks?”

Effie shook her head. “Not often. I just don’t like to remember. That’s the hard part, I suppose. There’s a lot I wish to forget. But I have learned to deal with that a long time ago.”

He poured more wine into their glasses. Effie sat back, relaxed. He did the same.

“I’m glad you don’t think I _look_ so different,” she said quietly. “I still have trouble getting used to this, you know. I do miss my wigs.”

“You always looked gorgeous without them. You know that. You don’t need me to tell you that,” Haymitch said carelessly. “You still look like an eggplant, though.”

“I will have you know dark colors are the latest trend, and so is this particular shade of purple.”

He laughed. “Never change, Sweetheart.”

“I wish I could say the same to you. You still insist on aggravating me.”

“Can’t help it,” Haymitch said honestly. He took a sip of the wine and looked at her thoughtfully. The question slipped from his mouth before he could help himself. “You’re really sure, about this baby thing?”

She was taking a sip when he did, so he waited until she had swallowed, patiently. She smiled at him.

“I won’t lie and say that I do. But I don’t think anyone is ever really sure,” Effie pointed out. “Would you be sure?”

Haymitch shrugged. “’m sure I don’t ever want kids, so I wouldn’t know.”

He did not have to look at her to know she was watching him. He saw from the corner of his eye as she rested the glass on her thigh and held her head on her hand, her arm against the back of the sofa. When he decided to meet her eyes, she was smiling at him.

“What is it?”

Effie shook her head slightly. “This reminds me of old times, that’s all. In the living room of the penthouse. Discussing strategies. Drinking.”

“Arguing. Fooling around,” Haymitch offered, and a pleasant blush spread through her cheeks. She kept smiling, though. “Sometimes Chaff and Finnick came over.”

“Not to fool around, thankfully,” Effie said.

Haymitch snorted. “Fuck, no.”

“Language. It wasn’t so bad,” she said quietly. “I mean,” she was quick to say, but he wouldn’t have interrupted her, “it _was_ bad. What we went through. The children we lost. But you helped me focus. If I could focus on making sure you were presentable and not so drunk, then I felt better. And we had each other, after we lost them.”

“Yeah. Suppose we did. We used to have some fun.”

Effie laughed. He could tell she was already slightly tipsy because of the way she was resting her head on the back of the sofa now. She only lost her posture like that when alcohol was involved. “We’re not dead. We can still have some fun, you know.”

He put his glass on the coffee table. She didn’t chide him for staining the wood.

“What are you saying, Sweetheart?”

Their gazes met. Her glass was empty. Her hair looked really soft.

“I’m saying I’m not supposed to drink alcohol, but here I am,” Effie said slowly.

He knew that tone. That tone was trouble.

She ran her fingers through her hair and put her glass on the coffee table as well. She couldn’t have drank enough to be so drunk, he figured. They still had over half a bottle left to drink. She seemed to be sitting very close to him. Or maybe it was him who had moved closer. He could never tell, with them.

“Last night of freedom, eh?”

Effie laughed.

“Johanna’s words, not mine.”

He didn’t know who took the first step, but the next thing he knew he was kissing her and she was kissing him back. Her hands grasped at his neck and jaw and her lips felt as soft as ever, or perhaps even softer than before; this was not a good decision, he knew. He was sure he’d regret it. When was the last time they did this? A year ago? And he didn’t even know how long before that.

But damn, was her hair soft. She smelled so good too. She always did. They broke the kiss and he couldn’t help but move his lips to her neck. She purred under him. He felt her palms on his chest, caressing. This was not how he intended his day to end.

“Haymitch,” Effie said breathlessly as he palmed one of her breasts, “we should go to the bedroom.”

“You sure?” he asked as he nipped at the skin under her earlobe.

He felt her nod. “Yes.”

It happened fast, as it often used to be. When they reached her bedroom he already had his shirt off and her skirt lay on the floor. They dropped on the bed unceremoniously; he teased her with his mouth and only stopped when she was panting; her blouse was only half unbuttoned and he never even took his boxers completely off before he entered her, holding her waist as he kneeled between her legs.

Effie sighed beneath him and he started moving, a hand cupping her breast through the bra - a set he didn’t remember ever seeing. Besides that, the sight reminded him of before - of fast, impulsive sex in the penthouse, after a party, after a death; it was always like that with them. They couldn’t really help it.

It was fast, and good, and it felt like home to him; he couldn’t deny it. Afterwards, they lay side by side, not touching, catching their breaths. He found a black button near his head on the bed, and figured it must have snapped from her blouse. Her nails had left marks on his abdomen.

He heard Effie sigh and the hustling of the covers and looked up to see her sitting up.

“I’ll be right back,” she said quietly, and he watched as she disappeared into the bathroom without looking back.

Haymitch laid his head back on the bed and rubbed his eyes tiredly. This was not how this was supposed to be. He had fucked up the last time, and today was about… mending broken bridges, those were the words Peeta had used. Sex always complicated things, even between them, even if they were used to turning towards it. It happened almost every fucking time. They still had unresolved issues to talk about and he might have just fucked it all up by fucking her at the first opportunity. He could just see Katniss’ shaking her head at him if she knew. Not that she would ever know.

He took a deep breath, adjusted himself in his boxers, and thought that he might as well put his clothes on and get moving. He could only remember a handful of times where he had actually spent the whole night, and it had always been rather awkward afterwards.

Still, her sheets were soft and he felt _exhausted_.

He was asleep before he even realized it.

 

* * *

Haymitch felt something move around him and his eyes snapped open immediately, a little on edge about this; it was only when he saw the blonde mess of hair under his chin that he relaxed.

Effie. He was at Effie’s apartment. He must have fallen asleep after they had sex — it had been a long time for him, after all — and she had not kicked him out. Rather the opposite, in fact. Her head was pillowed on his shoulder and one of her legs was wrapped around his calf. What did this mean? They didn’t simply spend the night together. A quick look at the clock told him he must have slept only for an hour or so. This wasn’t so bad. But still unexpected. Just when he and Effie had apparently reached a mutual… friendly… understanding… of sorts.

She moved again, and he figured he must have woken her up when he startled, moments ago.

“I’m not kicking you out or declaring my love for you,” her voice was soft against his chest, and awfully quiet to be simply teasing. But she did raise her head and flashed him a smile. “You can relax now.”

He tried to look nonchalant. “You know me, Sweetheart. I don’t relax.”

“It’s a new country, Haymitch,” Effie said as she sat up. “You might as well try to enjoy it.”

She was wearing a satin pink nightgown he knew from a few years ago. He remembered thinking it complimented her well, that soft pink tone. Still did. Even more so.

“I ordered us some dinner, actually,” she said, slipping away from the bed. “It should be here any moment. I hope you don’t mind. Not all of us can survive on alcohol alone.”

He shook his head, chuckling. He felt pretty hungry. Effie had always had a sixth sense for this sort of thing. He followed her lead and sat up, rubbing his eyes and watching as she slipped a red dressing gown he was also familiar with. She chanced a look at him and met his gaze, her cheeks coloring slightly.

“Stop that.”

Haymitch arched his eyebrows. “What?”

“Stop looking at me as if you have seen me naked,” she chided, grabbing a comb from her vanity table and trying to make her hair look presentable.

He stood up, walking slowly towards the bathroom.

“Newsflash, Sweetheart: I _have_ seen you naked.”

He barely saw her shaking her head at him before he closed the door.

It turned out it wasn’t as messy as he thought it would be. He had just finished putting his pants on and his undershirt when the bell rang and, noting that Effie was hardly in an appropriate state to open the door, he did that himself. The delivery boy seemed familiar enough with Effie that he looked suspiciously at him, and then beamed when he realized who he was. Judging by the looks, he was a District boy, so Haymitch tried not to be too rude to him when he babbled for maybe a minute (which was a long time if you counted each second) about his accomplishments during the war, only stopping when Effie did show up, in all her dressing gown glory, smiled at him, called him _Timmy_ , and gave him a good tip.

Haymitch was still dazzled when she took the box containing the food from him and closed the door. He followed her towards the kitchen.

“You’re friends with delivery boys now?”

He meant to tease, but he was truly curious. She smiled as she spoke.

“He’s a good boy. His parents are from District 2 and they moved here to help with the rebuilding. He’s a fan of 12.”

“And you know all that because?”

“I don’t go out as much as I used to, Haymitch,” she said patiently. “And I don’t have as many friends as I used to have. Or— no, not friends. Acquaintances. And, well,” she stopped after a moment, looking very unsure of herself, “if you must know, I am a disaster in the kitchen. I have been trying to learn but it is a little hard without a second opinion.”

She looked so mortified at that last piece of information that he did not have the heart to tease her. Instead — and he did not know what possessed him to do it — he simply tucked a strand of hair that had gone astray back behind her ear, and she gave him a little smile. It wasn’t so awkward, after all.

They had dinner quietly — Effie was the one who did the most talking, as usual, and she was focused on the kids. She specifically wanted to know about their medication, living situation, how Twelve was treating them, if people were leaving them alone, if there was any chance that they would be able to visit her in Four in the future.

He followed her cue when Effie started doing the dishes — it was such a strange sight, really, to see her like this: no makeup, wearing very little clothing and her slippers, washing the dishes herself. He decided not to comment. It was kind of endearing.

And strangely domestic, Haymitch thought as he dried the dishes, and stole a glance at her.

She was smiling.

“Do I have something on my face?” he asked.

Effie laughed. “No. I was just thinking this is new for us. To be doing dishes together.”

“And we ain’t so bad at it. Must say, you surprise me, Princess,” he added. “First we eat pizza with our bare hands and then we do the cleaning together.”

“I can still be classy,” Effie defended herself. “I intend on finishing that wine bottle tonight, you know.”

“And that’s classy?”

“Why, of course. The wine is of the best quality.”

He let out an honest laugh at that; Effie could be fun, when she wasn’t so focused on being stuck up about manners and propriety.

“You sure, though?” he asked. “Won’t this affect your treatment… thing?”

Effie shrugged, finishing the dishes. “Well, I have done everything they asked of me, and the doctor did say to avoid alcohol but that I could have wine. And I will only ovulate tomorrow, so I don’t see how this would be any trouble.”

Haymitch scrunched up his nose. “More information than I wanted.”

She scoffed. “Men can be so sensible,” she dried her hands with a towel and looked at him expectantly. “You don’t have to stay if you don’t want to.”

“When did I ever turn down alcohol, Sweetheart?” Haymitch smirked. “I ain’t leaving that whole bottle for you.”

Effie smiled, but it did not reach her eyes. She leaned against the counter and ran her fingers through her hair.

“Yes, I hope you won’t,” she said, but looked serious. “What I mean is that I hope you do not feel like you have an obligation towards me. I know you felt responsible when they found me. And I do not blame you. I know we argued before, and we both said things we should not have said, but we were hurting, and… I do not blame you. We both did what we had to do in order to stay alive.”

The abrupt change of subject took him off guard.

“Could have done more, though,” he mumbled.

“Could you? You had the plan for the arena. You could not afford another just for me. And I understand,” she added. “It _is_ in the past. I just wanted you to know that.”

Haymitch nodded. It didn’t really release the heavy weight he felt on his shoulders, but then he doubted it ever would. He had been living with guilt for a long time in his life — the district, Maysilee, his family, his girl, Peeta, Effie. It was a never ending rolling snowball. He lived with it.

He took a deep breath.

“Not why I’m staying, Sweetheart,” he said, trying to make the conversation lighter.

Effie stood up straight, walking slowly towards the living room. “Right. The alcohol.”

“You look pretty good, too.”

She pretended to be shocked.

“So quick to go back to your old ways, I see.”

His eyes glinted slightly. “Is it working?”

He could see she was trying hard not to grin. “It might.”

* * *

Later, the bottle of wine was empty and they found themselves back in the bedroom. That was not new; it was simply how they worked. And if Effie wanted to make the most of her last days of freedom, as Johanna named it, because she was pretty sure she would not have sex in a while, then… well, he wasn’t going to complain about it.

Though it did give him pause.

“Can we do this? As far as I’m aware I can’t have kids, but… Aren’t you on a treatment?”

His hand was groping her breast through the nightgown. He had been kissing her neck and, now that he paused, he noticed he might have sucked a little too hard. If he left a mark he’d never hear the end of it.

Effie unbuckled his pants.

“It’s fine, I _really_ can’t conceive naturally,” she said, a little impatiently. “I can’t have sex tomorrow but until then I’m as free as I can be.”

Good enough for him.

They took their time now. Kissing, nibbling, sucking. When they reached the bed they were both completely naked, and they spent enough time teasing each other that it was more about playing than foreplay. It was new for them too. It was usually straight to business. But then they didn’t do this very frequently nowadays, so he supposed a few changes were in order.

It was fun. His beard tickled her when he kissed her stomach. He jokingly held her hands so her nails wouldn’t scratch him. He didn’t enter right away; he teased and rubbed until she was nearly begging him to move. They moved slowly, together. Her little gasps drove him on even more than the loud moans he was used to. It was slow, and fun, and a little fuzzy — he suspected it was the same for her because they had both drank the rest of that bottle rather fast. She came with a gasp, clinging to his shoulders and he moved inside her, keeping up with his rhythm until he followed. Despite everything, he was spent when he finished. It took him at least a minute to pull out, and only because she nudged him, crushed with his weight on her.

He kept an arm around her waist, though. He felt the need to anchor himself. And, apparently, so did Effie, because one of her hands was intertwined with his.

“Did you ever think,” she started, still a little breathless, “that this would be the future? Before?”

“I didn’t think about the future before,” Haymitch mumbled, turning his head to look at her. “I still don’t, to be honest.”

She sighed. “I used to wonder. If we could ever happen. Properly.”

He untangled his fingers from hers to touch her jaw carefully. Her eyes looked especially bright now.

“I blew that up when I didn’t stay with you and went back to Twelve,” he stated. It wasn’t a question.

But Effie shook her head. “Katniss needed you. I did too but…”

“You never needed me, Princess. You’ve always handled yourself just fine without me.”

She left it at that, and brought her own hand to cover his on her cheek. The gesture was too intimate. He was past pretending they didn’t have anything, anyway—it was always something they wanted to believe. Something they avoided. Before, there was nothing to be done about this. They could have never truly happened. After… he blew his chance. He fucked up. He knew that.

“I almost asked you to come with me.”

He didn’t mean to say it. Her eyes widened. His thumb traced her lower lip.

“Why didn’t you?”

Haymitch pursed his lips. “Don’t know. Didn’t think you’d want to. Didn’t think you deserved that. Didn’t think it was safe for you,” they all sounded like excuses. “Would you have come? If I had asked?”

Effie blinked, once, twice. She tugged on his arm and brought him closer.

“We will never know now, will we?”

He kissed her, and she tasted like wine, himself and like goodbye, all at once.

* * *

She woke him up in the morning, announcing she’d be late for work if they didn’t start moving. He had meant to be playful but they ended up having sex one more time before she finally left the bed. By the time he was up, he desperately wanted a drink. She offered him breakfast, but he refused, knowing she was just being polite, always so stuck on her manners. They ended up leaving her building together; her, to go to work, and him to a cab, to take him and the two boxes of stuff for the kids back to the hotel. He’d be going back home tomorrow morning and he still had business to do with Plutarch later.

“I will see you later, yes?” Effie asked as he put the boxes inside the cabs.

Haymitch frowned. “Later?”

“My party? At Octavia’s apartment?” she straightened his shirt as he stood in front of her. “You said you would come.”

“Oh. Right. That’s today, huh?” he battled her hands away from his clothes. He knew they were beyond straightening at this point. “‘Kay, I’ll be there. But don’t expect me to stick around. You know I hate that stuff.”

“I would not expect anything else,”  she smiled. She bit her lip. “I’m glad we did this.”

He arched his eyebrows. “Had coffee?”

She laughed. “Yes. That. It was fun.”

“That’s one word for it,” he smirked. “I’ll see you later.”

She nodded, and gave him a simple, quick peck on the lips. They were never into long goodbyes, anyway. He hopped into the cab as she started to walk away.

“At six, okay? Don’t forget.”

Of course she’d remind me. He rolled his eyes.

“Later, Sweetheart.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much for all the kudos and messages so far! I'll try to update the story weekly, every Thursday, if people remain interested :)
> 
> So... now Effie and Haymitch (sort of) resolved all their past issues. But there's still Octavia party ahead, and Effie's future as a mother. Thoughts?


	3. The Party

**Chapter 3: The Party**

He was a bit late to Effie's party — partly because he did not want to be there, and partly because Plutarch had invited him for drinks and he couldn't very well refuse. Luckily he had gotten the directions from Johanna who, thankfully, was staying in the same hotel he was, and there were so many people inside the apartment that he was left pretty much unnoticed. Only Octavia had greeted him, also looking very different from how she used to be — he hadn't even recognized her at first — and she was busy playing hostess so she didn't linger for a chat.

He made his way for the bar car, as he usually did, and poured himself a whisky. The music was loud, he could tell most of the people attending the party were Capitols, and he really did not wish to mingle. He'd just make sure Effie caught a glimpse of him and he'd be right out of here. Everything about his party was on his nerves— the baby thing, the insemination thing, the fact that Effie would be pregnant by tomorrow possibly, the fact that she still wanted him to be okay with it, and the fact that he did not want to think about how he felt about all this.

It was unnerving.

He was pouring his second whisky when another guy stood beside him. Haymitch did not offer him a drink, but the guy looked pretty much out of place and grabbed the bottle and poured himself a glass as soon as Haymitch set it down.

He noticed the guy downed it all at once. He often did the same, of course, but he was an alcoholic very used to the drinks from the Capitol, whereas this guy didn't look very familiarized with the environment.

He couldn't help but chuckle when he noticed some of the whiskey was actually dripping from the guy's chin.

"Sorry," the guy mumbled. He was almost as tall as Haymitch but he was definitely younger. Well built but too skinny to be a soldier. "This whole thing is getting on my nerves. Only Capitols would throw this sort of party."

"And apparently it's the latest trend," Haymitch mocked.

The guy nodded seriously. "It is. This is the third I'm attending. They lost a lot of kids last year."

Haymitch nodded. No point in going that way to ruin a conversation. He took a sip of his whisky, intending to finish this glass and go look for Effie.

"First time I have a starring role, though," the guy said awkwardly, smiling. "I was hoping they wouldn't want me to do it here but the little guy is adamant that I do. I've been avoiding him since I arrived. I think his name is Flavius? You probably know him."

Haymitch almost choked on his drink, and that was not something that happened only when he was mildly drunk. It took him a moment to focus on the guy and actually see him. His hair was dark and he had dark eyes, and Haymitch guessed that he was good looking. But kinda plain. What did Effie even see in him?

"Starring role? So you're the semen guy, huh?"

The guy gave him a nervous smile. "Yeah. Sorry, forgot to introduce myself. I'm Barry."

_Stupid_   _name_. And he had terrible manners. Didn't Effie notice that?

"You're Haymitch Abernathy, of course. You're a legend. It's an honor to meet you," the guy continued.

Haymitch poured himself another glass. "Yeah, yeah. So you gonna do it here, now? Seems like a lot of pressure. Doesn't it feel awkward?"

Barry shrugged. "A little, not gonna lie. But they pay well. I could use the money. It's not like it's a lot of work, if you know what I mean."

"Right," Haymitch drank the whole glass at once. "So you got a lot of kids or is this your first?"

Barry looked around the party, uninterested. "This is my first. I'll see how it goes after this one. Maybe I'll do more. They were very interested, at the company. They said I have a great sperm count."

"Fabulous," Haymitch rolled his eyes.

He was saved from elaborating when Johanna arrived, looking very amused at seeing Barry and Haymitch together, apparently. Haymitch wondered if he could escape before even hearing her voice.

"Barry, Flavius is looking for you. It's your time to shine," she arched her eyebrows suggestively. "The bathroom in the corridor. That's your main stage this evening."

Barry flashed him a smile. "Nice meeting you."

Haymitch merely lifted his glass towards him. He watched as Flavius quickly got a hold of the man and everyone started clapping like he was some hero of sorts. Haymitch felt nauseous.

"So," Johanna leaned against the cart. "Trinket tells me the two of you talked and are friends again."

"Yeah, sure."

"And you don't think this whole baby thing is insane?" She asked. Always straight to the point. "I told her she's nuts. Barry is cute and all but her kid may have dozens of half-siblings walking around."

"Why do you care?"

"Because we've got each other's backs," Johanna said impatiently. "I don't think she'd be a bad mom, actually. I pity the child because she'll be all controlling. But then I pity her because the child will keep her up and probably throw up on a few of her beloved outfits. It's her choice," she shrugged. "It's this insemination thing I don't like."

"She does whatever she thinks it's best for her," Haymitch said, a little too diplomatically.

"Yeah, well. Guess that means a guy jerking off down the hall so she can do what's best for her," the girl said, clearly disgusted. "I mean, you'd think these people would be more sensible, but no. Insemination parties. And did you know the doctor is in here somewhere? He's gonna take the sample later. Gross."

Haymitch downed another glass.

Johanna eyed him critically. "You look like shit."

"Trying not to think about that guy jerking off right down the hall."

She did cringe at that. "I know. So clinical. Trinket can take the fun even from that," after a moment, she smiled. He did not like it. "Of course,  _you_  would know."

Haymitch glared at her.

"Don't go there," he warned.

She raised her arms in surrender. "It was just a little comment," she chuckled. "She's in the balcony, if you wanna say hi before you decide to get the hell out of here."

He rolled his eyes, watching as Johanna walked away. Choosing against having yet another glass of whisky, he poured himself some if only for later, then he moved from the bar cart, and his feet naturally led him to the balcony. He was surprised to see it empty save for just one person, and he opened the sliding door carefully to slip away from the party.

It felt much better outside, definitely. The music wasn't so loud and the air wasn't so puffy. Effie was leaning against the wall, watching the traffic lights on the streets below. Haymitch leaned his back against the wall, beside her, and didn't bother with a greeting.

"Met your semen guy," he commented.

Effie raised her head to look at him now, and he met her eyes. Her hair was loose and that was how he liked it best.

"Don't call him that," she scowled, then pursed her lips. "What do you think?"

Haymitch shook his head. "Seems like a nice guy. Guess he's not bad looking. You do know your kid may have a lot of siblings if he keeps doing this. Could be weird, in the future."

Effie shook her head. She seemed a little disappointed, for some reason. Maybe he had already drank too much. "You've been talking to Jo, I see."

He took a sip of his whisky, not bothering to reply.

"You really sure about this?"

Effie sighed beside him. She turned around, her back to the wall, and watched the party from the darkness of the balcony with him.

"When I was a child, I wanted three children," she told him quietly. "Two girls and one boy. Or sometimes I changed it to two boys and one girl. I would get married when I was around thirty, then I would have the children a few years later. We would live in a big mansion, and every year we would spend the summer holidays near the sea."

"So you're a few years late. No big deal."

She laughed. "Yes. Quite," she looked at the floor before her, apparently lost in thought. "I won't have the husband anytime soon. Or the mansion. Or the three children. It was always just a fantasy and I know that, and I am a little sad this is not at all how I envisioned this happening. But I am not uncertain, Haymitch."

Haymitch nodded. He turned his eyes towards the party once more. It was better than to feel Effie's gaze on him.

"Quite a crowd, in there," he went for a safe comment instead of adding to the subject. It was not his life that was changing here. "Feels like the old days."

Effie gave him a serious look. "Yes. Don't judge Flavius and Octavia for it. They are still adjusting. We all are."

"I know."

His tone was soft. She understood he did not mean anything by the previous comment. She smiled. "Most of them are from work. This is a farewell party too."

He found himself matching her smile with his own. He didn't know why he felt so sad.

"Never understood why people wanted kids," he commented. "In the districts you usually couldn't help it. Either that, or abstinence. And, let's be honest, when you don't have any sort of entertainment or joy in life, it's hard to avoid it. But here in the Capitol," he gave her a pointed look, "I always figured people realized they were fucked up and children got them to start again. Little carbon copies you can teach and guide through life."

Effie narrowed her eyes. "I don't want a carbon copy."

He snorted. "Funny you'd say that, and not deny that you're fucked up."

She squirmed a little. "Well, we all are, aren't we?"

"Yeah, I guess. If you don't mind doing that to the kid. Me, I couldn't do it. But then I'm a drunkard who sleeps with a knife," he smiled at her, not unkindly. She did not meet his eyes. "I wish you luck, Effie."

It was then that she met his gaze. She nodded in thanks, apparently deep in thought. She recovered a moment later — always the mask of propriety, always too good at pretending.

"I should go back. It's rude to hide when the party is for you," she joked, but he knew she was actually being serious.

He nodded as she stood up and took a step towards the door. "Yeah, you should go. Hey," his fingers brushed against her elbow, "don't be a stranger."

She pursed her lips. " _Fix_  your phone. Then maybe I will call you."

"How do you know it's broken?"

"Maybe I have tried calling you in the past."

He left it at that, watching as she walked away. Today she wore a yellow dress, plain but that hugged her just right. She looked great.

When she reached the door, she seemed to hesitate. He was still in the same spot as before, watching her. She looked at him over her shoulder.

"I would have gone with you. If you had asked."

He wondered if the words should have surprised him.

"I know, Sweetheart."

The hint of a sad smile crossed her face, and she still looked at him, though he wasn't sure if there was anything else to be said. She left the balcony and went back inside a moment later.

Haymitch drank the last of his whisky and turned to look outside. He took a deep breath.

There. Mutual understanding. That was what he had hoped to achieve when he invited Effie for coffee the day before, wasn't it? No more loose ends. Unresolved issues were resolved. And yet, he felt like crap. He clearly didn't drink enough for this. He should go back to the hotel, drink himself to sleep, forget about this whole trip and dread the day when Effie Trinket's voice would greet him on the phone.

He still wasn't sure if he should fix it anyway.

At any rate, it was high time he escaped this party.

* * *

His head was killing him.

That was the first thing he noticed.

It was  _pounding_. It felt like a thousand horses were running over his brain.

The second thing he noticed was that he was not comfortable at all. This didn't feel like his bed at all. It felt too hard and too cold to be a mattress.

That prompted him to open his eyes and everything was  _so_   _fucking_   _bright_. So, so white. He groaned and closed his eyes again. He hadn't felt this bad since the Quarter Quell, if he was honest. What the fuck did he do last night?

Well, first he should find out where exactly he was, because it was so fucking bright he had had no chance of looking around. He tried opening his eyes again.

And he groaned again.

"Shit," he spat, but did manage to keep his eyes open. Okay. This was his hotel bathroom. That was good. "Who the fuck let the lights on?" he asked no one in particular.

He was inside the bathtub. And soaked. Okay. Not his worst spot for a nap. Could have been worse. His pants were on, shirt was on. Meant this was not a planned bath. Also not his worst moment. The tub wasn't full, though. That was also good. He might have drowned otherwise. He was usually a clever drunk, though. Clever enough not to kill himself, anyway.

He tried to stand up, but his head was spinning. He sat back down.

" _Fuck_!"

"So you're finally up, then?" a voice rang through his ears.  _Loud_. So fucking loud. "I thought I'd have to call a doctor or something."

"Could you not shout?" Haymitch asked not so nicely. "What the fuck are you doing in my room?"

Johanna laughed. "This is my room, silly. I'd joke that we shared a mad, passionate night but you look gross," she sniffed. "And you smell pretty bad. You were so out of it I had to bring you to the hotel. Flavius had to help me carry you. You should  _really_  consider changing your diet of booze and booze."

She was talking way too much.

"Flavius?" Haymitch mumbled. He remembered Flavius. "Flavius. I'm gonna kill him."

"Yeah, I figured. He looked pretty guilty. I found you in the bathroom of his apartment completely passed out. Flavius said he had given you something to lift your spirits," she let out a laugh. "It was fucked up, if you ask me. When you woke up before we brought you here, you were in a shitty mood."

He tried to remember. He remembered the party. Talking to  _Barry_. He remembered Effie. He was going out… and Flavius stopped him. Damn the man. Offered him something to cheer him up. He was perfectly well. He didn't remember taking anything, just drinking. But he must have. He remembered nothing after that — not the rest of the party, or passing out, or talking to Johanna later, or even coming back to the hotel. Nothing. He had a total blackout.

He  _hated_  those.

Haymitch groaned and rubbed his eyes.

"What did he give me?"

"I don't know, but it was some sort of drug for sure. Maybe it's one of those things where you can drink and not get sick or something. You weren't hyped when I saw you, but you had trashed that bathroom. It wasn't pretty," she frowned. "I was gonna call for Trinket because she's always known how to deal with you but Flavius didn't want her involved. Said we would spoil her fun. So we brought you here instead, but I couldn't find your room's card. No problem, though, because you crashed in the tub after we tried to sober you up."

"Fuck," he mumbled again, opening his eyes. "Sorry about that. I don't remember shit."

"It's fine," she rolled her eyes. "That can't be the first time this happens to you."

"It was never this intense, no," he blinked twice, heavily. "I really don't remember anything. Fuck."

"Relax. I found you in the bathroom, passed out. I only noticed because I told you to head that way and you were taking your time. You were alone the entire time, and then we brought you here," she explained. It didn't ring any bells at all. "Don't worry, I kept my hands to myself."

"Thanks for that visual," he replied sarcastically.

"You should give Trinket a call, though," Johanna said, ignoring him. "She called me earlier and she was disappointed you didn't say goodbye, and she said your train leaves in an hour, so—"

"Shit. I was out for that long?" He asked, now standing up. "I gotta get a move on."

His head wasn't spinning anymore but it hurt like hell. When he pressed his palm against his forehead, it hurt even more.

"Yeah, you hit your head on the wall when we put you in there. Sorry," she did  _not_ look sorry.

At least  _Effie_  had always been careful enough not to leave him any bruises when he was drunk in the past, he couldn't help but remember.

He mumbled a quick thanks to Johanna and tried to find his room's card key; luckily it was still in his shirt's inside pocket, along with his knife. He needed to grab his suitcase and the boxes Effie sent the kids, check out of the hotel and be in the train station in less than an hour. And take a shower, he noted. Johanna was right, he smelled pretty bad, even for his standards.

And if he had any spare time, he'd give Effie a call.

* * *

It was only two months later that he heard from Effie; he had never actually called her again after her party, but he figured Peeta kept her updated on everything because he would occasionally mention that she had called. The kids hadn't been very curious about what he had been up to in the Capitol, and he didn't really go into any specifics. Katniss had been very touched by the clothes Effie had sent them, and he knew she had called the former escort herself to thank her.

Haymitch tried not to think of what he had left behind, or of what he'd hear from Effie next time he spoke to her. He continued life pretty much like before; he fed his geese, he drank, he walked around — maybe Johanna was right and he did need to lose some weight — and he drank some more. The boy still lectured him constantly about the booze, and Katniss more often than not snapped at him not taking care of himself.

Right. Because he was the only person in the village who was a little self destructive.

Either way, his phone — which had been fixed a few weeks ago, no big deal, it was  _not_ because of Effie — rang early one morning, and he had jumped at the noise because he had accidentally napped on the couch again. Even if he hadn't gone to sleep an hour ago, it was way too fucking early.

"What is it?" he barked at the phone. Nowadays the only people who called him were bank employees to offer him new deals, telemarketing people offering new channels for his tv, and sometimes Plutarch.

"Good morning to you too, Haymitch."

That shut him up. Her voice was loud, her accent was infuriating, and he had missed it and dreaded it at the same time. He leaned against the wall, sighing. It was too early for this.

"Hey, Sweetheart."

"I did tell you I would call if you fixed your phone," she explained. "How are you? Please do not tell me you have not slept yet."

"I've slept, if you must know," he rolled his eyes. "And I'm fine. Same old, same old. How's Four treating you?"

"It's been… pretty good, actually," she told him softly. It was even earlier in Four than it was for him. Trust her to be up in an ungodly hour. "Better than I hoped. I'm really enjoying it. I'm living about a block away from Jo and Annie."

"Yeah, the kids said. Lots of beach for you."

"You do realize it's winter, don't you, Haymitch?" Effie sighed. "How drunk are you?"

Haymitch scrunched up his nose. "Not that drunk."

"I see," her words were slow, as if she was thinking about what to say next. He waited. He was pretty sure he knew what she was calling about. He wasn't sure he wanted to hear it. "What is that  _noise_?"

He frowned for a moment, then realized what he was talking about. "Oh, the geese. They're waking up, probably. Impeccable timing as usual, Princess."

"It's only eight in the morning for you, Haymitch. It's a weekday. Normal people are up and about."

"And I ain't ever been one of those normal people you're talking about."

"That's true, I suppose," she still sounded unsure. "I'm calling because I wanted to tell you that I—I'm pregnant, Haymitch."

He hadn't expected that. Fast, like a bandaid. Painless. Quick. Okay.

It took him a moment to recover.

"Guess the district guy worked fast, didn't he?" his voice sounded strained to his own ears. "Worked on the first try, then?"

"I… Yes, you could say that," she sounded flustered.

"Congratulations, Sweetheart," he said quietly.

There was silence on the other end of the line. It felt like an outer body experience for him. Effie was pregnant. He was congratulating her. How the fuck did this happen?

"Thank you, Haymitch," she said diplomatically.

"You gonna tell the guy?"

It took her a second to reply. Maybe the connection wasn't very good on her end of the call.

"The guy—you mean Barry?" Effie sounded unsure.

"I don't know, you got any other semen guys I don't know about?"

"No, no, I—I will not call him. It's not like that."

"Yeah, would be awkward," Haymitch commented, scratching his head distractedly. "Don't think that's a phone call any guy would want to get," he joked, but Effie didn't laugh. Probably not a good joke to tell a pregnant woman, he figured. "You doing alright?"

"Yes. Yes, I'm fine," she replied quietly. "I don't really feel any different yet."

"That's good," he mumbled. It  _was_  a good thing, he thought. "Still happy with the project?"

He tried to sound happy for her. This was her life. She planned this. She thought she could handle it. It wasn't his place to judge.

"It's following its schedule, so I'm happy, yes."

"Ah. Kid takes after you, then," he said.

This time she did laugh.

"Let's hope so," she said. "Haymitch, I—"

A loud noise startled him, and he looked into the kitchen to see one of the fucking geese on top of his table. Eating a sandwich Peeta had probably left for him.

"You little shit," Haymitch snarled.

"I beg your pardon?" Effie's tone was almost hysterical.

"Not you, Sweetheart, one of the fucking geese," he was quick to say. "Get out, you little fucker. Out!"

The animal didn't even flinch.

"I'm gonna have to hang up, Sweetheart, or I'll miss my breakfast. Or maybe I'll have a goose for breakfast," it was too early for this shit. "I'm happy for you. You should take care."

"Okay," Effie said, sounding a little astonished. "You could call me back when you have some time."

"Yeah, sure," he mumbled, still eyeing the goose with pure hatred. He definitely couldn't save that sandwich. "Good luck, with this…  _thing_."

"Yes, well, good luck with your geese."

She sounded detached when he ended the phone call, but thought nothing of it as he made sure the goose was out of his house and threw the half eaten sandwich for the others to eat, making sure to close his back door and window. He did not want any surprises for lunch.

He found a muffin the boy had left for him from the day before and ate half of it before going back to the couch to catch some sleep — intentional sleep, this time. He tried not to think about Effie. He decided it was better not to call her back, anyway. They didn't really have much more to speak of. And she hadn't seemed very friendly towards the end.

In retrospect, he probably could have worded her project better than calling it a  _thing_.

* * *

He spoke to her again about three months later. She hadn't called him again and he never even asked Peeta for her number, so it was a surprise for him, when he was walking back home from the market, to see a bright pink spot on the entrance of Peeta's house, and a black car parked right in front of the gate.

It actually took him a moment to recognize her, because her hair looked longer and she was… well, she was big.

Not so big, but it was pretty much unmistakeable that she was pregnant. And she  _was_  really pregnant. He had known that for three months, but it only seemed real to him now that he had seen her.

"Oh, there's Haymitch," Peeta said as he got closer. "Look who's here, Haymitch!"

The kid looked like… a kid. It was nice to see him happy. Katniss was lingering behind the boy, and even she seemed a little pleased.

"I see that," he said patiently, putting his bags on the sidewalk and climbing up the few steps to Peeta's door. Effie looked at him expectantly. "It's good to see you, Sweetheart."

She greeted him by giving him a hug, right away. It felt a little weird — not because he was not expecting it, but because the bulge between them was hard to ignore.

Haymitch felt pretty awkward, not that he'd ever admit it.

"It is good to see you too," Effie said, her eyes brighter than ever. She looked back to the kids too. "And you as well. Look how different you are! You are both looking so well, my victors."

Katniss looked a bit embarrassed by the sudden display of affection and rolled her eyes good naturedly, but Peeta smiled brightly.

"Not as different as you, though," the girl remarked, arching her eyebrows towards Effie's stomach.

"Right, yes. But hopefully I will be just as I used to be in a few months," Effie said. "Really, the doctor keeps telling me I should put on weight. Never in my life I thought I would hear that! But of course I must watch it because I do want to be a good looking mother."

"I'm sure you already are, Effie," Peeta said, and Haymitch tried not to roll his eyes. It was good to see them all together, though.

"Oh, you are just as sweet as ever, Peeta," Effie noted, looking positively touched. "I am really sad that I have to be going. You really should try and clear it with Plutarch about coming to visit me in Four. It will be summer very soon and that is the best weather to have, or so I have been told," she babbled, looking to be in high spirits. Haymitch was sure he hadn't seen her looking so well since well before the Quarter Quell. "I have two spare bedrooms but one is in the process of becoming a nursery, you understand. I have been having such fun with that. But of course you are welcome to stay over. It would be no trouble at all, it really wouldn't."

"Yeah, well, maybe in a few months," Haymitch stated slowly, knowing it wouldn't be so easy to grant Katniss the right to travel to a touristic destination in the middle of summer.

"You are invited too, Haymitch, of course," she was quick to say. "And you could visit Johanna and Annie and little Levi, too. He is the cleverest little thing!"

"You should visit us more often, Effie," Peeta said kindly. "Between the three of us we have a lot of room to accommodate you. And your baby, when the time comes."

"That is very kind of you to say, Peeta. Perhaps we can arrange something soon," she said brightly. "But now, I am afraid I must be going. The train should be fixed soon and I do not want to be late."

"We all know you'd hate that," Haymitch teased, sharing a look with Katniss.

He watched as Effie hugged both Peeta and Katniss tightly, kissed their cheeks and made them promise to call her. Peeta offered to walk her to the gate, but she declined, saying she didn't want to trouble them; after that, the boy gave him a hard look, and Haymitch understood  _he_ should accompany her back to the car.

It was a good day for her to be in Twelve, he thought. It was sunny and he supposed one would notice that the district had its fair share of changes. People were beginning to occupy the remaining houses of the village and there was talk that they would expand the neighborhood. He didn't care much about those, as he'd rather be left alone, but some life into the village was never a bad thing.

"So the train broke down or something?" Haymitch asked as they reached the sidewalk and Effie waved goodbye to the kids.

"Yes, some minor problem. They said it would be fixed in an hour, so I thought I would stop by and see how my victors were doing," she said brightly. "I am on my way to Thirteen, for work. What a coincidence that the train would stop here, of all places."

Haymitch picked up his bags from the sidewalk and put them on the first step leading to his house, right next to Katniss'. Effie smiled warmly at one of his new neighbors, who also greeted them, as she passed by with her two children in tow, a boy and a girl.

"I am astonished at how this district has changed. It still has much room for improvement, of course, but you can see how progress has finally arrived here," she commented.

Haymitch nodded. "Yeah, we're a long way from the Capitol, but we're getting there," he said, watching as she looked around with great interest. "You look good, Sweetheart."

She seemed startled at his comment, and the one hand who was not holding her handbag actually stopped to rub at her stomach a little. He started walking again, not really in the mood of having to invite Effie into his house. He was pretty sure it was a complete mess and she would have a heart attack if she saw it.

Effie narrowed her eyes.

"I hope you are not being sarcastic."

Haymitch snorted. "No, Sweetheart. Cross my heart."

"Well, thank you, then," Effie smiled. "I have been trying not to fret, but I do feel like a whale."

"You're fine," he scoffed. "You feel good too?"

"Yes, for the most part, now that the nausea is gone," she sighed. "I usually end up completely exhausted each evening, and sleep like a baby through the night, which is news for me. But very fitting, since I am indeed carrying one."

He laughed at that. "I guess you're right."

The two kids playing ahead on the road were rather loud and Haymitch looked at them, feeling a little unnerved at the screaming. Even if it was all child's play, he felt on edge. Effie, on the other hand, seemed unfazed by it. In the past, he would have thought she would have complained of their manners. He noticed her hand was still rubbing at her stomach.

"You know what you're having?" he found himself asking.

Effie nodded, turning back to face him. "It's a girl."

"Got your carbon copy," he joked. "That can only be trouble."

She smacked his arm. "Oh, do stop it. I'm not that bad."

"No, you're not. I'm only joking, Sweetheart."

She sighed, looking back at the children.

"Did you truly never wanted it?" Effie asked. "I obviously wanted them, before, but now I see children and I can't wait for her to be here."

"Gonna be a while until she can run around like that," he smirked, then sobered up as he noticed Effie was still expecting an answer. "And no, I never wanted it. Before I was reaped I didn't want to risk having children because  _they_ could be reaped. And afterwards… you know what happened to my family."

Effie nodded thoughtfully, her eyes going from his house to the bags near their feet, before she raised them to meet his. "And now?"

"Now?" He was surprised. "I got everything I need."

"Geese and booze?" She teased.

"More or less, yeah," Haymitch laughed. "No kid should have to deal with me as a dad, Effie."

"I think you underestimate yourself, Haymitch, truly."

He crossed his arms in front of him. "'There anything you want to tell me, Princess?"

She gasped. Of course that would outrage her.

"Oh, really, Haymitch, must you always be so crude?" She scoffed, but he thought her voice sounded sad and not its usual indignant tone. She took a deep breath. They had reached the gate, and her driver was waiting for her. "I should be going. It was… it was very good to see you."

"You too, Sweetheart," this time he was the one to move to hug her. She felt tinier than normal in his arms, and he figured she must have toned down those absurdly high heels she used to wear. But there. The bump wasn't so bad once he got used to it. "You take care of yourself. And this girl."

He pulled away, and he thought he saw her eyes glisten slightly.

But Effie only smiled. "Yes. I will."

She stepped away to get into the car, and he noted that, indeed, she had ditched the impossibly high heels but she still wore heels that he thought were a little too high for a pregnant woman. Not that he would ever tell her, of course.

Haymitch nodded at the driver and waved back at her. He didn't stop to look back at her until he reached his door, and by then the car was rounding the corner.

He entered his house and took a bottle of whisky from one of the bags, opening it and drinking it straight from the bottle.

He tried not to think of her and how she glowed under the sunlight.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Thank you so much to everyone who's left a review so far, feedback is so very important and makes me happy! Let me know your thoughts on this one :)
> 
> Next chapter: there's a time jump, we get to see Effie's POV of some things and we meet the Trinket baby!


	4. The Postponed Visit

Five years later

District 4

 

Effie carefully rolled the suitcases to the hall, inwardly complaining what a mess it would be to have to carry all of these from the train station to the children's house in Twelve. As if she wasn't having second thoughts about this trip already.

She hadn't been to Twelve in almost five years and she wasn't quite sure she should still go.  _Especially_  when she was to bring another person along to that district.

But Katniss and Peeta were getting married, so there was no way on earth she would miss that, and when Peeta said Katniss was having trouble organizing everything and dealing with the reporters she simply  _had_   _to_   _help_. Those poor darlings did not know  _anything_ about ceremonies or parties. And so when she offered and Peeta accepted and immediately asked if she could come perhaps a week or two earlier and stay with them, she couldn't simply decline. And she would bring Amabella with her, because she couldn't be away for so long,  _and_ she would be the flower girl  _and_ she still hadn't been to Twelve. Effie knew that the whole idea of Amabella visiting had been postponed enough, especially considering that the children had indeed visited three times since the child had been born.

So Effie managed to take a few days off from work, and found herself planning for a trip to Twelve. With a four-year-old in tow. It was not simple, but they did travel together every year on vacation and Effie was well used to her schedules. It helped that Amabella was used to them too.

The problem wasn't with Twelve, of course; in fact, she had only been hearing very good things about the district. Why, they had even set up a university there, and it was becoming a very popular and serious destination if one was sick and in need of a particular medical treatment. She knew the industry had advanced there a lot, and she knew that many people were in fact moving to live there. She supposed it couldn't be so bad, but the weather during winter was particularly harsh. It was spring now, though. Spring was always lovely.

The problem wasn't with Katniss or Peeta, either; although Effie wasn't sure how happy Katniss had been when Peeta invited her to stay with them, the young man was always so kind and genuine that Effie couldn't refuse. If anything, the distance had made her affection towards the both of them intensify. They had been through so much, she was just thrilled that they were together and getting better alongside each other, and getting married, this time for real! It was everything she had ever hoped for. And they were just so good with Amabella — her little girl absolutely loved them. She had been thrilled when Effie announced they would be visiting.

All in all, it was time they paid Twelve a visit. And it would be good for them to get a feel of the district, because she had received a work offer from Twelve and it was becoming too good to decline. She had made a life for herself in Four — she had friends there, and Amabella loved the sea and rarely minded if she had to stay with Johanna and Annie if that meant she got to play with Levi. She had her preschool here, and her little friends, and goodness, her daughter was not very quick to make friends. But she was still very young, and resilient, and moving to Twelve would mean less weird hours, no working for the government and, most importantly, more time to spend together.

It was a possibility she was seriously considering.

No, the only problem lay with Haymitch.

He had kept his distance and she had kept hers — that was probably what he wanted. In the five years it had been since she moved to Four, she had only seen him a handful of times, and only once when she was pregnant. He had yet to meet Amabella, and had never really asked many questions about her. Effie just knew this little trip would cause them trouble. She could  _feel_  it.

And yet, there was no way to postpone it any longer. Better now than when she decided to move there permanently. Which would probably happen.

She sighed, counting the suitcases to make sure none were missing — and she was sorry to see that the little girl had almost more luggage than she did — before she walked back inside the apartment to get said little girl awake. It was almost a battle in itself.

Effie stopped in the corridor to check her reflex in the mirror. Perhaps she should have applied more makeup — although no makeup would erase her thirty-nine years of age. Another outfit, perhaps? A dress? Oh, but she would be traveling all day long and she knew what a nuisance it was to wear a dress around a four-year-old. No, the pants looked nice. The top looked nice too. Chic, but not uncomfortable.  _Focus_ ,  _Effie_. Time to wake the little sleeping beauty.

Johanna called her a little monster sometimes, Effie remembered in annoyance. It was affectionate, but still.

The child's bedroom door was only partially open so Effie slowly opened it completely and watched as the light invaded her daughter's bedroom and reached her little face, and  _of_   _course_  she immediately grabbed the blanket and pulled it over head.  _Of_   _course_  she didn't want to get up.

"Come on, my angel, up, up, up!" Effie said happily. "It's a big, big, big day! We're visiting Katniss and Peeta, remember?"

Her only response was a groan, and the wriggle of a little foot that had escaped the blanket nest. Effie sighed and sat down on the bed, her hand brushing against the foot and the child quickly slipped it back into the blanket. Effie smiled fondly.

"Come on, Amabella," she called, pushing the blankets slowly from where she knew her daughter's head was. Indeed, her blonde curls were a complete mess and her eyes were still tightly closed. Too tight for her to be still asleep. Effie brushed her palm against Amabella's cheek and the child's gray eyes fluttered open. A wave of affection ran through her. "Good morning."

Unfortunately, Amabella didn't seem to be in such a good mood yet.

"Why is it  _still_   _night_ , Mommy?"

Her tone was positively dreadful, and Effie briefly wondered what was the problem in waking up early when her biggest concern was how much she would be able to play today. Which, granted, probably wouldn't be much, considering they would only get to Twelve in the late afternoon.

"Because Peeta and Katniss live very far away, and we want to be there for dinner, remember?" Effie explained patiently. "And what do you say to Mommy when you wake up?"

Amabella frowned. "Good morning, Mommy."

Effie smiled. "That's better. Now, weren't you so excited about this last night? You will get to meet Katniss' cat, and a little bird told me there would be chocolate cupcakes waiting for you when we get there."

Amabella smiled sleepily. "Really?"

"Yes, of course. But for that, we really need you to get up, have breakfast, and get ready," Effie patted the mattress and reached out to take the child's hands, prompting her to sit up. Despite being only four, her daughter was never one who was easy to convince or impress. She had a very strong personality.

Effie knew where she got that from.

After that, it was quite easy to coach the little girl to stand up and head to the bathroom. It was very early, Effie granted her that, and her daughter loved to sleep in so much that it was already a problem to get her to wake up on time for preschool. Effie distractedly made Amabella's bed and tidied her bedroom — really, hadn't she done that before the girl had gone to bed the day before? — and she was done by the time the child left the bathroom and Effie quickly told her to head to the kitchen for breakfast.

Their schedule was tight, so she only had time to prepare a bowl of chocolate cereal — the kind that was only allowed on weekends and special occasions — before the bell rang and someone was already keying themselves inside.

"It's me!" Johanna's voice filled the apartment, and Amabella looked to the doorway quickly, balancing her legs on the stool. Seven's victor appeared a moment later, dark bags under her eyes and a scowl on her face. Effie wasn't surprised. "Really, Trinket, it's six in the morning. Why did you call me half an hour ago? I was  _not_ gonna be late," she moved to Amabella and messed up her hair, repeatedly. The little girl giggled. Her hair became even more of a mess than before. Effie was not amused. "Hey, little monster. Where's the goose?"

"She's a chicken!" Amabella reminded her sternly. "Her name is  _Flower_."

"Amabella, lips sealed when you are chewing. That is very unbecoming," Effie quickly reminded her, then looked at Johanna. "Terrace."

Johanna rolled her eyes and moved away.

Amabella reached for more cereal, and Effie noticed her mouth was still  _very_  full. "Slowly, darling. Remember what happened the last time we had a train ride."

Amabella scrunched up her face. "I threw up," she said unnecessarily.

Effie tried not to remember so vividly. "Yes, because you had stuffed your little stomach with too much cake."

The girl still chose the cereal. To avoid a mess, Effie poured one more portion into the bowl. "That cake was really good, Mommy."

Effie smiled and caressed her cheek. "Yes, it was."

Johanna got back holding Flower's big cage. "You do know you can't technically have this kind of pet in an apartment building, don't you?"

Effie raised her hands. "She got that egg at school and she grew attached to it. There was nothing I could do."

"You're too easy on her," Johanna rolled her eyes. "Some people have cats, of course your kid would have a bird."

"It's a  _chicken_! That's a  _big_  bird!" Amabella reminded her once more.

Effie sighed. "Still a bird, darling, there is no need to shout," she said patiently. "Thank you for doing this, Johanna."

"No problem. Levi is looking forward to feeding Flower," she said with a smile to the child. That seemed to satisfy Amabella. "You all set to go?"

Effie nodded. "Almost. The train leaves in half an hour so I only need this little lady to get ready. Done?" she asked when Amabella pushed the bowl away from her. "Brush your teeth, baby, and then I'll help you get dressed."

The girl nodded obediently and ran away, stomping her feet loudly against the floor.

"She's as quiet as an elephant," Johanna commented. The chicken flapped her wings.

"Be nice," Effie clicked her tongue, picking the cereal box to put it back in the cupboard.

"You got her awake on time. Only you, Trinket," Johanna shook her head.

"She's excited about the trip," Effie smiled. "Call me if there's any problem with Flower, please. She is not supposed to be eaten, no matter what you say."

"Fine. Annie wouldn't let me, anyway," Johanna said. "If you move to Twelve you should find yourself a house. For the chickens."

"We will not have any more chickens," Effie said sternly. "And I still don't know if we will move to Twelve. I'll see what Amabella thinks when we get there."

"She's a kid. She won't mind. You're postponing this because of something else. Or  _someone else_ ," Johanna said slowly. She shrugged started to move towards the door. "I'm gonna go. Tell Peeta to please use condoms. Between Levi and Bella, there are enough kids around."

"Oh,  _must_  you be so crude?" Effie frowned, but Johanna was already out of sight. "You can tell him yourself when you get there."

"I'll see you at the wedding. Have a good trip!" She yelled. The neighbors would be having a great day. "Bye, little monster!"

"Goodbye, Auntie Jo!" Amabella replied somewhere inside the apartment.

Effie heard the chicken flap its wings once more and Johanna yelp; she remembered she once made fun of Haymitch for having geese as pets and of course now she had a chicken in her own home.

"Mommy, may I wear the blue tights?"

Amabella's voice reminded her there was still a lot to do. Effie was inwardly proud of the child's wording and considered it a small victory, and so early in the morning too. But the blue tights would absolutely do not go with the dress she had initially picked for Amabella, so she better go and choose a better outfit — that included the blue tights, anyway. They had a tight schedule, and she knew Felix would be arriving any minute now.

It was going to be a big, big day.

* * *

Amabella had fallen asleep somewhere between Eight and Eleven, after lunch, and Effie did not have it in her heart to wake her up when they reached Twelve. She had had a very early morning, after all.

The train was on schedule, but Effie had told Peeta not to worry about getting them from the train station in case there was a delay. Instead, Felix had called for a car, and was anxiously getting the suitcases. Not at all like the train rides she used to take during her time as an escort; even in first class, this was nothing like the luxury from before.

But Effie would rather not think about that. As the train came to a full stop, she slowly put her arms around Amabella and lifted her.

"Do you want me to take her, Effie?" Felix promptly offered.

Effie shook her head. "No, it's fine, dear. We may need a cart for the suitcases, though."

Amabella didn't even groan; Effie supported her weight as the little girl wrapped herself around her, and rested her head on her mother's shoulders. She might be only four and a little on the small side, but she was way too heavy to be carried for long.

"Maybe we should have brought  _her_ cart," Felix joked, and Effie did laugh at that.

It was only a short walk to the car, though, so it ended up being no trouble at all. The train station was almost empty and most people didn't even get off the train, which would go all the way to Thirteen. Effie was sure that would be a busiest station. Twelve was still changing.

The first thing Effie noticed after she got inside the car and started moving were the trees. There were trees around. That was nice. It didn't look as gray as before, even in the dusk light. There were shops and lights and people walking around. It looked like any small town, and it was hard to understand this was the same district she used to visit every year. Of course she had visited that one time during her pregnancy, but it had been a quick visit and it had been a while. The image of Twelve that she always remembered was the gray, gloomy streets, the unhappy citizens, and of the children.

Always the children.

Effie closed her eyes and rested her cheek on Amabella's head, breathing in her sweet smell, of that fruity pink shampoo she used and a reminiscent of her baby smell. Effie had styled the little girl's hair in pigtails when they left Four, but between playing around, being bored, and sleeping, her hair was loose once more.

As if on cue, the little girl raised her head.

"Are we there yet?" she mumbled sleepily.

Felix chuckled beside them. She had made that question a dozen times already.

"Yes, darling, we are," Effie said with a smile. Amabella gave her a bright smile, awake now, and turned to look outside the window, still sitting on her mother's lap. "We'll see Katniss and Peeta soon."

"Ugh, I can't wait until we get there and there's a couch," Amabella complained. Felix coughed, trying not to laugh. Effie simply looked amused. "I didn't forget the chocolate cupcakes, Mommy."

"That is for dessert, don't forget that," Effie pinched her little nose. "You wouldn't want to be  _rude_."

Amabella nodded seriously. Effie knew that a few years down the line her daughter would probably roll her eyes at every little thing she said about rudeness and manners, but she savored these times, where everything she said was considered a rule and the most proper thing to do. She was still so little, and she looked up to her so much. Even if she was indeed a little sloppy with her manners and a much more active child than Effie herself had been — at least from what she remembered, because she unfortunately could not ask her parents about this — she followed her mother's requests and was a happy child. She was her own person, and she lived a childhood that was not dictated by Capitol rules and etiquette.

"I will not be rude," Amabella said seriously, then looked outside the window again. "Look at the colors, Mommy! It's so pretty!"

She was looking up to the sky, and it was indeed very pretty. Effie ran her fingers through Amabella's blonde locks, trying to tidy them up a little bit. She sighed.

"You okay, honey?" Felix asked, and Effie met his eyes. She had almost forgotten he was there.

"Yes, yes. It's just… it's been a long time," she smiled.

Effie would never forget those children, but every time her daughter smiled because of something she did she felt lighter. Maybe it was selfish of her, but she didn't care.

Before long, the car was parked right outside the Victor's Village; the driver mentioned that no cars were allowed inside, even though  _there were_ roads now. Plutarch had told her security had been upped in the district because of Katniss and Peeta's wedding news reaching the public's ears, and indeed she could see two reporters right outside the gates. To try to make things a little easier, Effie showed her credentials and ID to the officer in charge, which in itself attracted attention. The man approved their entrance amid flashes of photography and Amabella frowned at them, hiding her face against Effie's neck.

It was enough to make Effie angry.

" _Really_ ," she glanced at Felix as the car advanced into the village. "You'd think we were intruders. Having to show my credentials  _and_  identity. It is no wonder Katniss does not want to deal with this. It is  _just_  like it used to be."

"They are  _rude_ ," Amabella declared.

"They certainly are, my darling," Effie agreed quickly.

They reached Katniss and Peeta's house, and the car came to a full stop. Felix was the first to exit, and he was quick to go around the car to open Effie's door. He was always such a gentleman. Of course, it was Amabella who exited first, probably very bored of train and car rides, and Effie grasped her hand before she could run astray. The houses in the village had never looked so good, in her opinion. Few of them were completely dark and most looked well taken care of. It was nothing like it used to be.

Her eyes only ran briefly over Haymitch's house, and it was almost exactly how it always used to be. Completely dark. It didn't look abandoned, though. That was an improvement.

The driver was taking the suitcases from the truck and Felix joined him, just as the front door opened to reveal Peeta, looking happy and relieved to see them. Effie smiled as he quickly walked down the stairs.

"Hi, Peeta!" Amabella said excitedly, and Effie let her meet him halfway, crushing in his arms. "I'm visiting you now!"

Peers laughed. "Yes, and we're very happy to have you!" The boy said, then stood up to hug Effie. "Hi, Effie."

"Hello, dear," she hugged him as well, and patted his cheek when they pulled away.

"I'll help them with your bags," the boy said. "Katniss is inside. Please make yourselves at home!"

Amabella was clearly intent on doing so, because when Effie looked around she had already reached the door and was getting in.

"Amabella!" She called, shaking her head and following the little girl. Of course she had decided this was the time to ignore her mother. Unfortunately, the heels Effie was wearing did not make her as fast as a four-year-old who was too curious for her own good. She simply entered the house as if it was her own. Just like that. Effie tried hard not to yell, and hurried her steps. "Amabella."

"It's fine, Effie," Katniss' voice answered her instead from where she was crouched near the floor, clearly having been greeting the smallest guest. The young woman was not the best mannered but she was not bad with children, even if it left her a little awkward. Amabella, of course, simply adored her, and, being an affectionate child, would often surprise her with unexpected hugs. Katniss stood up. "Hi. Thanks for coming."

"Hello, my dear," Effie said, kissing the girl's cheek and hugging her. "I must say I am amazed that there must be officers outside the village.  _Officers_! As if you were prisoners in a cell. Goodness."

"Yeah. They've been there for a week. Before that, they'd walk around and take pictures," Katniss rolled her eyes. "I haven't even been going to town."

Effie clicked her tongue in disapproval, her eyes following her daughter as she walked into the living room and looked around. "You would think they would have learned to have some decency. I suppose the media thinks everything has been too slow lately. How ever did the wedding reach the news, anyway?"

Katniss did not answer as Peeta and Felix arrived with the suitcases. The young woman nodded at Felix quietly, having met him a few times in the past. Peeta quickly ushered them to the dining room for dinner, clearly playing the host much better than Katniss, but Effie did not hold that against her. Dinner did not take very long, after all; they were all exhausted from the trip and Amabella was trying not to fall asleep even before she had finished her first cupcake for dessert. Thus, Effie declared it was time for a bath and then bed.

Katniss and Peeta had prepared three bedrooms upstairs, and Effie assured them only two would be necessary, thanking them all the same. Their suitcases were already there so it only took her a few minutes to settle everything before going to the bathroom to give Amabella her bath; she did not fall asleep in the bathtub, thankfully, and was much more alert by the time Effie was dressing her in her pyjamas, and she insisted on going downstairs to say goodnight to everyone, although Effie was quite sure she just wanted to postpone bedtime.

Felix was already on his way upstairs to retire when Effie and Amabella returned, and the little girl wished him a quick goodnight. Katniss and Peeta were in the living room now, and Effie was happy to notice everything in the house seemed to be in very good order.

"Come on, darling. It's bedtime. Wish Katniss and Peeta a good night and then we will be off," Effie said.

"Five more minutes!" Amabella pleaded, clutching to her gray stuffed rabbit, the only toy she always took to bed. It was an old thing by now, since she had had it since she was a baby, but Effie did not have the heart to take it from her.

Effie looked down at her, trying her best to look stern. She was tired, she needed a shower and she desperately wanted to take off her heels.

But she could not resist those eyes.

"Five minutes. And then we'll stop imposing on Katniss and Peeta."

Amabella let out a triumphant gasp, sitting down on the couch next to Katniss and babbling about everything she had seen on the way over. Perhaps the bath had woken her up more than it was intended.

Effie sat next to her, and Peeta offered her a glass of wine. She declined.

"Amabella is not the only one who needs sleep," she smiled.

"I'm sorry to bring you here only to have you work, Effie," Peeta said, tearing his gaze away from Katniss and the child, who were talking animatedly.

"Nonsense. I am happy to be of some use for you. When Plutarch explained to me just how bad it was, I knew there would be no other option for me but to come," Effie said sincerely. "And it is not just work. We have a wedding to properly plan. And I do miss my victors, you know."

Peeta smiled. "You are missed too, Effie. It's good to have the team back together," he then rolled his eyes. "Only Haymitch is missing, of course. But he'll be here tomorrow."

Effie automatically looked at Amabella, but she did not seem to be listening to their conversation at all. She recovered only a second later, and smiled.

"Right, of course. I do hope to see Haymitch," she said pleasantly. "How has he been?"

Peeta sighed. "The same, really. He's been trying to slow down on the alcohol. We had a, uh, situation a while ago. Nothing to worry about," he was quick to tell her, and Effie thought she probably hadn't hidden her feelings so well. "So he had an appointment today. He probably would have been able to come to dinner but I guess he didn't want to impose or… whatever."

"I am certain he was not very eager to see me," Effie joked, though her heart wasn't in it.

Peeta immediately shook his head. "No, he was actually happy to hear that you'd be visiting early, for the wedding," Effie looked skeptical, so he laughed. "Well, as happy as Haymitch could be. But he'll be here for dinner tomorrow. I told him to get a present for the kid."

"Oh, you really shouldn't have," Effie cringed. "He will already find us trying just for that."

"Well, it's proper, isn't it? He hasn't met her yet," Peeta smiled. "Although he did send her that rabbit. I guess I shouldn't be surprised his gift ended up being your daughter's favorite toy."

"Gets me every time, really. The irony," Effie clarified, taking a deep breath Amabella was now leaning against Katniss, looking very much sleepy. "Okay, baby. It is really bedtime, now."

Amabella hopped down the couch sleepily and took Effie's hand, yawning quietly. She mumbled a goodnight to Peeta and Katniss without any complaints whatsoever and she was nearly asleep by the time Effie tucked her in, still clutching the rabbit and blinking heavily. Effie ran her fingers through the girl's hair and smiled.

"Goodnight, darling. I love you," she said before giving her forehead a kiss.

"Love you, Mommy," she mumbled, eyes closing slowly.

She did not even ask for a story, which was just as well. Effie took her heels off in the first opportunity and left a lamp on as she started putting away the clothes from the suitcase into a mostly empty wardrobe, taking special care of the dress she would be wearing at the wedding and Amabella's dress as well; she left her own creams and lotions at the bathroom, thankful that they would not have to share it with anyone else. Amabella's toys she decided to put on a desk near the window, and she looked outside distractedly as she finished.

Her gaze automatically settled on Haymitch's house — it figured that her bedroom view would exactly be his house —, but it was still completely dark. The lights outside were not enough to give her a clear view. She sighed, closing the curtains completely and deciding to take a quick shower. She had a lot to do in the morning and a good night of sleep would do her wonders. Tomorrow would be a big, big, big day.

It was not everyday that a child would get to meet her father for the first time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much to everyone who's left a review so far! I got Amabella from Big Little Lies because I really like that name and I feel like it was posh enough that someone like Effie would want to use it. So... we know who Amabella's dad is. Or at least who Effie thinks he is. And who exactly is Felix? Let me know your thoughts on this one :)
> 
> I know I said I'd update every Thursday but I'm traveling next week and I'm not sure if I'll be able to update then. Maybe if there's enough feedback I'll update in advance on Wednesday (hint, hint!)
> 
> Next chapter: Haymitch meets Amabella, there's a revelation, a small accident, and an argument.


	5. Introductions

 

To say that there was a lot to do was an understatement.

Even with Effie's help starting weeks ago all the way from Four, there were too many things to choose. It was no secret that K,atniss had not wanted a big ceremony, and Effie was not truly sure why they had decided to have one — perhaps it was some political pressure from the higher ranks. The children weren't stalked, not really. Over the years the press took a big step back and left them be, but somehow word had gotten out and they were very much in the open again. At least most people in Twelve seemed to respect that.

But really, Katniss did not have any idea of what to do with her hair, stating that she would just choose it on the wedding day; they had not chosen the menu for the wedding lunch; they had not chosen a band to play; and, most importantly, they had not chosen the people who would serve as witnesses. A bride had to have bridesmaids, at least.

Sure, there would be less than fifty guests. Amabella would enter before Katniss and Levi would take the rings. Hopefully the clothes Effie had ordered for the two of them would fit the occasion; thankfully she had also taken care of the decoration months ago, and she could only hope Katniss wouldn't complain of it later.

Really, she had never seen more disaffected bride and groom. Neither Peeta nor Katniss seemed very excited. They  _were_  happy, Effie could tell, but the ceremony did not seem to interest either of them.

And so she had spent half the day wandering around the district with Felix, selecting the proper flowers that would look perfect for Katniss' gown and Amabella's hairstyle, trying out different dishes to see what would fit the wedding's menu, and trying to handle the press, which had become quite a nuisance whenever they realized who  _she_  was, because she still was fairly famous.

In truth, it was all very disorganized and stressful. Effie would have to work around a statement to keep the reporters happy for a while and then go from there.

Not to mention the fact that the ceremony would be in the morning, outside, and they had no plan whatsoever if the weather suddenly collapsed and rain spoiled everything.

With Peeta at the bakery and Felix eager to explore the district, Effie returned to the Victor's Village alone, very much looking forward to a glass of wine. She had left Amabella with Katniss for the day, and she was a little anxious to see how they had handled each other so far. She knew Katniss wasn't always comfortable around children and she knew Amabella could be very fussy when she wanted to.

So it was a surprise when Effie reached the house to see it completely empty. Her first instinct was to freak out, unfortunately, and her heart was already beating too fast by the time she saw the note on the coffee table.

_Went_   _to_   _see_   _the_   _geese_ , in Katniss' hurried handwriting.

Effie relaxed, thanking the girl for being thoughtful enough to let her know, but she tensed again when the implications of that hit her. If they went to see the geese, they would probably see Haymitch.

She took a deep breath. She could not avoid him forever.

And so she decided to go to Haymitch's house, the one she was most familiarized with, and wondered if she should knock or simply go to the backyard, as that was probably where Katniss and Amabella were. Hearing the distinct squeals of a child and the honking of geese, she decided to go straight to the backyard.

She left Katniss and Peeta's back door and turned towards the neighboring house and, indeed, there they were. Katniss, Amabella, and the geese. There were about eight animals. More than Effie had expected.

Effie was glad they were not simply wandering around freely, and that Katniss had the sense of not going around the pen to be close to the animals. So Effie approached them, trying to walk as gracefully as she could wearing heels on grass, and maybe it was the bright yellow color of her dress, but the geese were suddenly very interested in her and very loud.

It took her about three seconds to decide she hated geese.

"Mommy! They like you!" Amabella said. She was peering at the animals from Katniss' arms, probably because she wanted to see them better.

Effie was not as gracious as she hoped to be. There was a lot of mud around, and it was becoming quite difficult to walk. And the animals were frightening her, if she was honest. More than one of them were flapping their wings. Did geese fly? The only reason why Effie allowed Amabella to keep Flower was because chickens  _did_   _not_  fly.

It all happened very fast.

One of the geese flapped their wings. Effie was startled and her heel got stuck in the mud. When she tried to walk again, she tripped. And fell. Face down the ground.

_Very_  humiliating.

But, thankfully, besides Katniss asking if she was okay and Amabella's gasp, no one had seen it.

"I'm fine," Effie said as she started to get up. She could see Katniss was starting to laugh. Of course she would. Her hair was probably a mess and her dress was  _ruined_ , she could already see it. She could not even think about her makeup, and sat backfor a moment, trying to gather herself. She stopped when she heard clapping.

"Seems like my birds don't like you very much, Sweetheart."

That made Effie turn her head immediately, already glaring at the source of the voice.  _Of_   _course_  Haymitch would find it amusing.

"Well," she started, "I don't like them either," she said stubbornly. She tried to get up, but her ankle could not support her weight and she sat back with a wince. This couldn't be happening. Katniss stopped laughing. Effie tried to hold the fence for support but the geese were  _still_  there, and she yelped in surprise.

She felt a pair of hands on her shoulders and startled.

"Shut up!" It was Haymitch, looking at the geese impatiently before setting his gaze on her. "Can you stand up?"

Effie tried again, now clutching Haymitch's hands. A sudden pain flashed through her ankle, and she faltered. Haymitch held her by her waist.

"Okay, I'm gonna carry you inside," he told her, and Effie barely had time to nod before one of his arms lifted her knees and the other held her waist.

She instinctively held onto his shoulders as he carried her towards the house, thinking that this was absolutely a nightmare. Had to be. She could not have twisted her ankle or — God forbid — broken it when she had so much to do and a wedding to attend in a few days. It was a complete disaster.

And it  _hurt_.

She barely noticed she was inside Haymitch's house when he put her down a couch; she had tears in her eyes but she was doing her best to keep composure. It was probably nothing, surely. It could not be that bad. Why, she had been walking in heels higher than these for years and nothing ever happened.

But then she had never had much experience in walking in high heels on grass or mud or around insufferable birds.

"We should take your shoes off," Haymitch mumbled, and for the first time Effie chanced a look at her ankle.

It was swollen.

"Oh,  _no_ ," she whispered. It seemed very swollen to her. "No, no, no."

Haymitch was having some trouble with her shoes and he looked up impatiently.

"Grab her some ice, Katniss."

It was only then that Effie saw Katniss behind the couch, still holding Amabella and looking down worriedly.

"Mommy, are you hurt?" the little girl asked once Katniss put her down and left the room, quickly walking around the couch to stand beside Haymitch.

Effie eyed Haymitch worriedly, but he was still fumbling with her heels.

"Just a little. Those nasty birds scared me," Effie said, though Amabella, even with her worried frown above her eyebrows, seemed to not share the sentiment.

"That's 'cause they mistook you for a parrot, and those are even nastier," Haymitch said, finally able to take the shoe off.

Amabella giggled and seemed a little less worried. Haymitch took a moment to look at the little girl and Effie watched it all with increasing anxiety. Luckily, Katniss arrived with the ice and a towel and handed them to Haymitch, who received them with a glare.

"I couldn't find a pack," the girl mumbled. "How bad is it?"

Effie hissed as Haymitch held the ice against the outside of her ankle. His touch was gentle, and the ice helped. It was swollen but it did not look bruised so far.

"She'll live," he said. "I don't think it's serious or she wouldn't have been able to stand up at all. Some ice and avoiding these ridiculous shoes should do the trick."

"Does it hurt, Mommy?" Amabella asked, eyeing the ice with suspicious. She gravitated towards Effie's head, while Haymitch was sat next to the other end of the couch, holding her foot on his lap.

"It feels a little better," Effie did her best to smile at her, though she was very uncomfortable. The pain diminished, but she was still worried it wasn't as simple as Haymitch said. Effie raised her hand to caress Amabella's cheek. "I was looking for you and Katniss. I got home and you weren't there."

"She heard the geese and got curious. Sorry," Katniss said.

"It's not your fault, dear," Effie said kindly. "Really, the shoes were not proper, but the birds were simply dreadful."

"Not dreadful enough to break you," Haymitch joked, and was met with a glare from Katniss. "Next time, uh, just make sure I'm around the geese. They aren't used to visitors."

"I cannot say I am surprised to hear that," Effie retorted. She heard Katniss sigh.

"I'm gonna go home and see if we have an ice pack," Katniss said, looking at Effie. "Are you gonna be okay, Effie?"

"Yes, sure," Effie nodded, then looked at her daughter. "I hope you did not beg Katniss to let you out to see the geese."

But Amabella did not reply as she snuggled closer to Effie, eyeing Haymitch with careful curiosity. The same could be said for the man in question, though he was more discreet about it.

This was not how she imagined this day going.

"Oh, silly me. I did not introduce you," her voice sounded too loud and too cheerful to her own years. "This is Haymitch, darling. Remember how Mommy told you he was one of her victors, like Katniss and Peeta?"

The child still looked at him warily. "But he is old."

The reactions were instant and quick to Amabella's quiet observation; Effie gasped and Haymitch let out a loud laugh.

"Amabella!" Effie said, reproachfully. "Haymitch is older than Katniss and Peeta, yes, but he is not old. You do not say that to people. It's very rude."

"Like when I told Auntie Annie you were forty?" Amabella asked, looking confused.

Haymitch laughed harder.

Effie clenched her teeth. "I'm  _not_ forty. So, we just met Haymitch."

Effie looked at her pointedly. Amabella sighed.

"It's nice to meet you," her voice was quiet, barely more than a whisper, and she did not meet Haymitch's eyes.

"It's nice to meet you too, kid," Haymitch said, smiling — Effie wasn't sure if it was because he had been laughing or because he was glad to meet her. Probably the former. "It's also very nice to see you handling a kid with no filter, Princess."

Effie tried not to roll her eyes, smoothing Amabella's hair distractedly. Her ankle felt a little better. "She's a lovely child, if you must know. Even when she is pestering me about having new pets," Effie teased, and the little girl laughed, but still would not look at Haymitch. Effie turned towards him. "I'm sorry. She's a little shy around strangers."

"That's fine," Haymitch said quietly, watching the little girl. Effie took advantage of the moment to look at him properly. He looked well; a little tired, but well. He didn't seem to be drunk, or dirty, just a little disheveled, as if he had been woken from a nap not long ago. His clothes were wrinkled. "She looks like you."

"Oh. Yes, I get that a lot," Effie said quietly. This was not the time for this conversation. "She does look like me when I was her age."

"Felix calls me mini-Effie, like I'm mini-Mommy," Amabella said quietly, apparently at ease enough to be a part of the conversation.

Effie laughed. "That's right, he does."

"You like being mini-Effie, kid?" Haymitch asked, amused. He did not stop pressing the ice against Effie's ankle. "That's not something I ever thought I'd hear."

Effie glared at him.

"Yes, because Mommy is beautiful, and nice," Amabella replied, frowning.

"Thank you, baby," Effie kissed her cheek. "Haymitch, I cannot feel my ankle. I think that must be too cold."

"Oh, right," he mumbled, quickly taking the towel — now very much soaked — away from her leg. "Any better? Think you can try to walk?"

Effie moved her ankle a little, wincing slightly at the sharp pain, but it was nothing she couldn't bear. It was still swollen but it seemed to have gotten a little better.

"Maybe, with help," she groaned.

"Easy. You really should ditch the heels, Princess."

Effie rolled her eyes now.

"Do you hear me telling you to ditch your birds?"

Haymitch pursed his lips. "Kinda different considering the birds are live animals."

Effie was spared having to retort when Katniss arrived with an ice pack. Now,  _that_ was much better. And hygienic. But since her ankle was still numb from the ice, they thought it better to leave it for a few more minutes; Amabella, bored and no longer worried about her mother, asked Katniss if they could go find Buttercup and play, and Effie told them to go on as she would try to walk to Katniss' house.

Although it was a relief that she could walk and Effie probably thought that meant she didn't break her ankle or twist it very badly, it was still painful and she was limping. Haymitch had come to her aid after her fourth step or so, holding her waist as she supported herself by holding his shoulder. It was closer than they had been in many years.

Too many years.

"Your house looks nice," Effie commented as they crossed the living room. "It's better than before."

It wasn't necessarily  _great_ , either — but at least the curtains were fixed and the house was somewhat tidy. It used to be such a mess whenever she arrived for the Reaping every year.

"Yeah, the boy made me do it, couple years ago," Haymitch said. "And I got a housekeeper regularly, that helps. Johanna and Annie will be staying here for the wedding, from what Peeta tells me. Can't say I'm looking forward to it."

Effie let out a snort. "You were never a good host."

"I was a very good host any time you were concerned, Sweetheart," Haymitch remarked in a casual tone, though Effie knew enough of what he meant that she got flustered and it had nothing to do with the exertion of walking on an injured ankle.

She decided not to reply to that.

Slowly but surely, they got to Katniss' house, and Effie had then decided to have a bath and maybe rest the foot for a while. Amabella eyed them when they arrived, but she was much more interested in Buttercup — the cat seemed to love her — than to pay attention to them.

"She has the rabbit," Haymitch said slowly as Effie rested her foot on the floor, able to stand up, and let go of his shoulder.

Indeed, Amabella was playing with Buttercup by holding her favorite stuffed animal in front of the cat and making him chase it. Even though Buttercup must be old for cat standards, he seemed quite energetic.

"Darling, do not do that. Buttercup may ruin Bunny and that will not be good," Effie reminded her as the cat's claws reached for the toy.

Amabella quickly stopped wriggling Bunny but Buttercup was still very interested in it. With a gasp, she ran towards Effie and Haymitch, handing the animal to him with pleading eyes. Buttercup was still eyeing the toy.

"Take care of Bunny!" Amabella said before darting to the other opposite direction. "Buttercup! You meanie! No toys for you!"

Effie laughed, while Haymitch seemed very bewildered to be holding a battered stuffed rabbit.

"I sent you this rabbit," Haymitch said quietly.

Effie smiled. "That's Bunny. It's her favorite toy. I even bought her a new rabbit last year, in purple — we were big on purple last year — but she did not care for it."

"Well, I'll be sure to look after it," he joked. "She's bossy. Definitely your kid."

"Yes, that is a problem sometimes. Her being bossy," Effie clarified before Haymitch could say anything. "You should see the things she says to Levi when they're playing. She made him try on a dress last week because she was pretending to be a fashion designer. He wasn't very happy. Neither was she. The dress was fine to them, but it turns out they decided yellow isn't his color."

"Fashion designer. I wonder where she got that from."

"Not me. It was Felix who went to Fashion Week and she listened to all his tales with interest," Effie explained. "She just loves a good story. Perhaps she will be a journalist."

Haymitch gave her a look. "Hopefully not one who writes the social columns," he said. "Who's Felix again?"

Effie sat on the couch, feeling her ankle protest in pain. "Oh, he's a lifesaver, you have no idea."

"Did I hear my name?"

Felix himself stood in the doorway that led to the kitchen, and he brought his palms together at seeing Effie's ankle.

"Amabella just told me what happened, but she explained so quickly I did not catch half of it," Felix said, approaching them quickly. "What did you do, dear?"

"It's just a sprain. I don't think it will be too bad tomorrow. Heels and mud are not a good combination," she rolled her eyes. "Oh, Felix, let me introduce you to Haymitch."

Felix eyed Haymitch with some mirth. Effie did not understand; there could not be more different people on earth, she decided: Felix with his dark skin and trimmed beard and great fashion sense and… Haymitch, who clearly needed a haircut. And to have his beard trimmed. And that sweater really must be  _at_   _least_  as old as Amabella. He dressed better when she ordered his clothes.

"Oh, we know each other," Felix said with a knowing smile.

Haymitch, on the other hand, looked perplexed.

"We do?"

Felix let out a laugh. "From Effie's party. Years ago. We had an interesting conversation, really. You are aging wonderfully, I must say, Mr. Abernathy."

"Drop the formalities," Haymitch rolled his eyes. He still looked confused. "I don't remember you."

He could be so  _rude_ , really.

Felix, on the other hand, laughed.

"You wouldn't after drinking what Flavius gave you," he shook his head. "You were very interested in what would happen to Effie, actually. We had a very good discussion about the pros and cons of sperm donation. Then Johanna arrived and told you to get a grip and go freshen yourself. You were doing fine, really. Just looked a little green."

Effie glared at him.

"Did you get drugged at my farewell party?" She asked, not so lowly.

"Easy, Sweetheart, I'm sure someone three houses from here did not hear you," Haymitch said impatiently. He turned to Felix. "What did Flavius give me?"

"Just a little thing to enhance your feelings and improve your experience," Felix explained. "It's harmless, I assure you. Just shouldn't be taken with much alcohol."

Haymitch groaned. Effie was still confused, but she understood enough.

"He had drank enough alcohol, believe me," she said seriously. "Flavius could have killed him. What was he thinking?"

"It wasn't enough to kill him, really," Felix defended. "And from what I saw it looked like he was having a good time. Oh, it's been years, what does it matter?"

"Enhance feelings," Haymitch was mumbling. "That was the last time I took anything a Capitol gave me, you know."

"Smart move," Felix nodded. "I will go freshen up. I was thinking of having dinner in town, what do you say to that, Effie?"

She shook her head. "I'll stay in. But you should have fun."

Felix looked between them a moment too long before going upstairs. Effie stood up then, intending to go take a bath herself.

"You gotta rest that foot, Princess," Haymitch warned.

"Yes, I will," she told him. "Thank you for your help, Haymitch."

"It's nothing," he handed her Bunny. Effie had completely forgotten about it. "Should go back and feed the geese."

Effie nodded. He was already turning around. "The children mentioned you'd be coming to dinner later."

He looked at her over his shoulder. "You trust me not to screw up and curse in front of your kid?"

Effie scoffed at him. "I trust you will behave. And it will be nice to have the team together."

He gave her a small smile. "Yeah. Later, Sweetheart."

He left without another word, and Effie let out a breath she did not know she had been holding. So much for planning everything. She supposed she could just ignore this and let it go, but she had to have a real conversation with him. An important one.

She closed her eyes, took a deep breath and marched slowly upstairs. It would work next time.

* * *

Amabella had many questions about Haymitch later, while Effie gave her a bath. She was clearly very interested in him being a victor and about his geese. She wanted to know if he was Peeta's father.

"Why do you think that, darling?" Effie asked with a laugh as she washed Amabella's hair.

"'Cause they have the same hair," the child answered, as if it was an obvious conclusion.

"No, he isn't Peeta's daddy. And their coloring isn't exactly the same," Effie explained, though she did not expect Amabella to understand it quite well.

"Okay," Amabella said, then eyed her suspiciously, but with an excited smile. She grabbed a pink rubber duck and squashed it. "Is he your  _boyfriend_ , Mommy?"

Effie dropped her hands in the water, causing it to splash all over her blouse.

"How—Why do you think that, young lady?"

She wasn't even sure Amabella understood exactly what a boyfriend was.

"I heard Felix talking to Katniss," she explained. "Is he?"

"No, he is not my boyfriend," Effie denied carefully. "But he is a good friend of mine."

"I like his geese," the little girl commented. "Do you think they have names?"

Well. That was as much as Effie could hope for, really. If she liked his geese, she'd probably like him.

"Maybe. You can ask him later at dinner. Or perhaps we can help him find good names for them."

Amabella nodded vigorously, and she was excited all through the evening until Haymitch arrived. When he did, she became suddenly shy and would not leave Effie's side, which was not a surprise at all. It was only when he shook a package in the air and said it was for her that she stepped forward, now very excited about receiving a present. Effie encouraged her to pick it up and open it, and she did not need much incentive at all. Haymitch appeared ill at ease, clearly not used to the attention of such a small child, but Effie took his actions to heart. He meant well.

But then he was always a good man.

"A puzzle!" Amabella exclaimed as she eyed the box.

Effie was surprised to hear that.

"Peeta told me she liked them," Haymitch mumbled, not meeting her eyes.

"I love it! Thank you!" the little girl said excitedly. "May I play, Mommy?"

"You may, after dinner," Effie said, to the child's disappointment. "Come on. It is a big puzzle. You will do better if you do it on a full stomach."

"Okay," Amabella said a little dejectedly, but did not argue back.

Conversation during dinner was light, though Effie noticed that the wedding topic was still not something Katniss and Peeta wanted to really discuss. It was still inevitable, though — Effie had a lot to plan before the big day, and if none of them were eager to organize this, then it clearly fell on her to make this ceremony a success.

Effie declined wine when she noticed Haymitch wasn't drinking, and it was simply out of habit — she supposed he could use some sympathy, regardless of what he was going through.

She had been in the middle of a commentary about a wedding she had attended in Four a few months ago — there were swans and ice sculptures, and it was really  _so_ classy, it was a shame they could not come up with something like that in such short notice, when Katniss interrupted.

Certain things  _never_ changed, it seemed.

"We're already married, Effie," the young woman said impatiently.

That was  _certainly_ news.

"What?" Effie asked. There was silence on the table. The only person who seemed to still be chewing was Amabella, who was not interested in the adult conversations and had probably tuned out moments ago.

"We had a toasting," Peeta explained. "We didn't really plan it. It was weeks ago. We wanted to just go to the justice building and get it done, but word got out that we wanted a marriage certificate. Plutarch said he'd help, but it was too late. We're only doing the wedding so that the press will be satisfied, and we have a deal that they'll leave once it's done."

_Ah_. That made sense, she supposed.

"You must feed the monster," Effie stated. Peeta nodded. Katniss merely continued eating as if this was obvious. "Well. Then congratulations are in order, of course. I  _am_ happy for you."

They both smiled genuinely at that.

"Thanks, Effie," it was Peeta who answered.

"We don't care about this party," Katniss said. "So… you can do whatever you want, Effie. Just… no ice sculptures. No wigs. No weird food. I don't really want to be involved."

"You must still have a few dress fittings, dear. And I will need somebody's help with certain decisions," Effie argued. "My tastes are completely different from yours."

"You don't say," Haymitch said, contributing to the subject for the first time.

Effie glared at him.

"I have to go to the bakery during the day but I can help in the evenings, Effie," Peeta offered. "Maybe Haymitch could help you when I'm not available."

He had barely finished that sentence when Haymitch spoke.

"No fucking way."

There was a gasp. It was not from Effie.

"That is a  _bad_ word!" the little girl exclaimed. She looked positively angry. "Mommy keeps a jar at home and Auntie Jo is always putting coins in it every time she says a mean word. Is there a jar here?"

It was Katniss who snickered.

"If we had one, Haymitch would have paid for this whole wedding," she commented.

Effie turned to her daughter. "There is not a jar here, but I'm sure Haymitch will not do it again, darling."

"Are you  _sure_?" Amabella looked skeptical, her eyes almost narrowing towards Haymitch, who actually looked quite uncomfortable. Peeta was silently laughing.

"I am, because if he does that again he will answer to me," Effie gave Haymitch a pointed look.

That seemed to satisfy Amabella, since Mommy did have a way of seeing and knowing  _everything_ , but she was still wary.

"Okay."

Effie let out a deep breath and indulged in the kids' smiles, smiling herself. Haymitch looked relieved.

"Well," she started again, "I'll run everything I can by you, Peeta. I did not come here to trouble you or Haymitch, for that matter," her tone was firm. She looked at Amabella distractedly again, and noticed her plate was  _almost_  clean. "Eat your peas, darling."

Amabella sighed dramatically, but did not argue.

"Are the peas not good?" Peeta said, a little worried suddenly. He was the one who cooked.

"They're great, dear. She is a little picky, that's all," Effie said dismissively. "I was a picky eater myself. Why, I could not see a tomato in front of me until I was at least ten, I'm sure. But then every child is like that, I assume."

She smoothed Amabella's hair back as she spoke, and the little girl ate the peas dutifully.

"Not if they don't have anything to eat, they aren't."

Haymitch's tone was too detached for her not to know that he meant it. It mortified her, in reality, and she knew she must have showed it.

"I did not mean—I know that. I'm sorry," Effie said quickly.

"It's okay, Effie," Peeta said. "Good thing children don't go hungry anymore."

"Of course," Effie agreed. The silence was becoming very loud. "All the books I've read say so, anyway. But Amabella always listens to Mommy, doesn't she?"

Amabella nodded, and Effie was glad for the momentary distraction.

But Haymitch spoke again.

"Capitol books, I bet," he said. "Can't raise kids on books alone, Sweetheart. Should teach her that some people go hungry and she should eat her peas without asking."

Effie narrowed her eyes, abandoning all composure. Her ears were ringing loudly and she tried not to let it bother her, but she could already feel the tears threatening to spill.

"Because you know everything about raising children, don't you, Haymitch?" her voice was too loud. "Need I remind you that I went hungry myself during the war? That I spent months in that white cell with nothing—"

Effie closed her eyes. She would not make a scene. Amabella was present. She did not have to listen to that. She  _should not_  know about any of that. Not anytime soon.

The room was silent. Effie opened her eyes and focused them on her daughter, whose eyes were too wide, too gentle, and too innocent. Effie tried to smile at her, and refused to meet anyone's gaze.

"I ate all the peas," Amabella's voice was small, as if she was worried that was the cause of the commotion.

"That's very good, my angel," Effie said. She did not sniff, and she did not blink, because the tears would surely follow. "You may go play with your puzzle now. I'll be right there."

Amabella left without a word.

"Effie—" Haymitch started as soon as the child was not present.

But Effie shook her head. "Really, lecturing me about how to raise my own daughter. I… I thought we were past this useless bickering, Haymitch," she tried to make her tone light to put the subject back where it should have stayed, and stood up. "If you'll excuse me for a moment."

Her ankle was still sore so it took her a while to leave the room; she did not look at Katniss or Peeta, but she was sure they'd both be sending glares towards Haymitch.

Effie silently cursed at herself — she ended up causing a scene. And it was so hard to… to just put the mask back on. It used to be so easy, when she first started as an escort, and then it became gradually more difficult, and now… now it was nearly impossible for her to recover in such short notice.

But she endured. She reached the restroom and only took one brief glance at her appearance before taking a deep breath. Effie Trinket, but not the escort, or the Capitol. She needed to go through this quickly for Amabella. She closed her eyes, supporting her hands on the sink. This was no time for a panic attack. She took another deep breath, closed her eyes. No time for a scene. This would not do. Deep breaths. In, out.

She opened her eyes.

She endured.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much to everyone who's left a review so far! We get a chapter a day early because I'm leaving on a trip tomorrow but next week we're back to Thursday. Also, I've been finishing the fic and there may be more than twelve chapters in the end. We'll see.
> 
> Next chapter: there's a late night conversation, someone finds out about Effie's baby daddy, and Haymitch and Effie settle their differences from the argument in the only way they know how - points to anyone who guesses it ;)


	6. Old Habits

Effie watched as Amabella's chest rose and fell, her breaths slow and steady. She blinked sometimes in her sleep, and sometimes she smiled — she did that ever since she was a baby. Effie had always hoped that just meant she had good dreams. Colorful, bright dreams. With chickens, cats, dolls and her favorite television show.

She had been excited about her new puzzle and Effie helped her with it. When she had returned to the dining room, Haymitch had already gone and Peeta and Katniss were cleaning up, insisting they did not need her help and she should join Amabella in the living room. Effie cringed when she thought back to the coffee table filled with jigsaw pieces. Amabella would have to have them organized in the morning, no doubt. It would not do to have her toys scattered around the house when she did not even live there.

Effie sighed, lying on her back. She had thought she and Haymitch were above this sort of argument. How could she even consider moving to Twelve when he clearly wasn't receptive towards her? And, if she thought carefully about it, he never actually was receptive, not even in the past. Unless she was wearing much less than it was proper, anyway. Then he was very receptive.

But that was not the case. Far from it.

The truth was that this was a mess. The wedding was in five days, she had so much to do, Haymitch was not being very easy, and she was currently wondering if she should just decline that work offer in Twelve and never tell Haymitch the truth concerning her pregnancy.

Because she had tried to tell him, in the past. And it never worked out. And yes, of course she had been worried and confused and just… so completely sure that he would freak out that she never really blurted the words to him. Why, she had even thought of asking him to be a donor before finding one, but she knew Haymitch would not have liked that and, in truth, she did not want to have a child with someone who was so… volatile. Because that was what Haymitch was. A good man, a brilliant man, who had a drinking problem, commitment issues, and a volatile personality.

But Effie knew he should know.

With a sigh, she sat up, slowly so she wouldn't wake the sleeping child next to her. She gave Amabella the ghost of a forehead kiss and stood up, leaving the room entirely. It was late and the house was completely silent. Effie was certain she wouldn't be able to sleep anytime soon, so she decided to go downstairs, prepare a cup of tea, and hope that it would lull her to sleep.

She was so stranger to insomnia, of course. In fact, she was quite used to it. They had stopped almost completely when Amabella was born — and what a sweet baby she was, as she would barely wake up during the nights, but then Effie would be so completely exhausted because of all the work during the day that she had never even had time to think of insomnia. Over the years, however, these nights still happened. Sometimes they were triggered. Other times, not so much.

Being in Twelve was hard enough without arguments about the war over dinner.

She did feel safe in Twelve, despite everything. Maybe it was the presence of Katniss and Peeta. And, well, even Haymitch. They were the only part of before that she fondly remembered and that she could still reach nowadays. Everything else, everyone else was just… gone.

When her camomile tea was ready she took it to the porch that led to the backyard, refusing to even glance towards Haymitch's house. It was late enough for all lights to be out but if there was something she always liked about Twelve was that the sky was always so full of stars in a way that the night was never completely dark.

Effie closed her eyes, feeling a little calmer already. This would do just the trick, she knew. Sleeping in a different place always did this to her, too. She would never compare what she went through to what any of the victors did, but she could still feel its consequences now, so many years later. It never got better. But it got easier.

Experience would do that, she assumed.

Her tea was nearly over when Effie heard quiet steps in backyard. She immediately sat up, alarmed; no one who didn't live in the victor's village was allowed inside.

When she saw Haymitch she barely relaxed.

He was clearly in his sleeping clothes, which in her opinion was progress in itself as in the past he would simply fall asleep in whatever clothes he had been wearing. Loose pants and a gray shirt. Effie adjusted her robe a little tighter around her waist, to make sure he wouldn't be able to see much underneath.

"Saw you from the window," he said quietly as he approached the porch. Effie put her teacup on a small coffee table in front of her seat. "Can't sleep?"

She shook her head. "What about you?"

"I slept some," he told her. She understood what was not being said. Nightmare.

He climbed the steps into the porch slowly, apparently unsure of what to do. That wasn't very common for him, to not be certain about anything. In the past, Effie might have tried to make some small talk and get rid of the awkwardness, but she would do no such thing today. Their relationship always left too many things unsaid. She did not want any more of that.

She was contemplating standing up when he sat down next to her. Good. Common ground. Equal levels.

"Look, I'm sorry. About earlier," Haymitch said quietly. She saw a tremor in his hand. "I know and see things changing. Seeing us all there around that table, it made me think it was before. Not now."

"It's okay," Effie said automatically. "I know it's easy to forget."

"No, Effie, it's  _not_   _easy_. It's not easy to forget," he took a deep breath. "My mind has been a little confused lately. That's all. I'm sorry."

They were silent after that. The tea was finished and Effie sat back with a soft sigh. Haymitch still seemed tense. Both hands were wrapped around each other and she knew he was probably going through withdrawal again. Peeta had mentioned a situation. His hands were shaking and he hadn't drank a thing during dinner. His hair looked soft. He still needed a haircut, though.

This was the moment, she knew. She should just tell him now. Get over with it. He could decide whatever he wanted to do. But she should tell him. And possibly ruin their friendship — or whatever it was between them.

"I'll help you with the final preps," Haymitch cut the silence short. Effie was surprised. "For the wedding. It's in five days, so. It's not like there is a lot to do, right?"

"If there weren't I wouldn't be happy for your help," Effie retorted with a smile. "Thank you."

"You're welcome," he said. With no sarcasm. Yet another progress.

Effie took a deep breath. "Well, I was going through the final choices for the menu tomorrow. You're welcome to join me, if you want to. Felix can handle the final touches of decoration on his own, I'm sure. I must tell him no peach, though. I understand there is a bit of a trend with peach at the moment but I must say I do not like that at all."

"Okay. I can handle food," Haymitch agreed. "So, uh… Felix. You been together for long?"

"Oh, he's been with me since Plutarch offered me that position back in the Capitol," Effie told him. "He is truly an angel. And Amabella loves him, which is great for me when I cannot pick her up from preschool."

Haymitch hummed. "It's pretty serious then, isn't it?"

"Pretty serious—?" Effie was confused for a moment. "Oh! No, it's not like that. He has been my assistant for  _years_. I brought him with me to Four. He's a good friend, but he is  _really_  not interested in me that way. Really, Haymitch," she tried hard not to roll her eyes, "I am far too old for him. You know I have no interest in younger men."

Haymitch shrugged. There was a glint in his eyes. "Don't know, Sweetheart. 'Been a long time since we've seen each other," he arched his eyebrows. "I'd say you're lookin' pretty good to get some attention. Still like you better without all that makeup."

"Well, I like you better sober," Effie retorted, without missing a beat. "Although I'm sure I look a true sight tonight. Between all the packing I had to do at home, I forgot to bring one of my lotions. I don't even want to think about how my skin will look by the end of the week."

"I'm sure you will survive," Haymitch said.

_There_ it was. The sarcastic tone. She should have known.

" _Really_ , Haymitch. A lady must have a few tricks," she narrowed her eyes.

He snickered. "Pretty sure I know a lot of your tricks, Sweetheart."

Their eyes met.

"Maybe I've learned some new ones over the years."

She didn't mean to flirt, she really didn't. It just happened. As things happened between them. He was already sitting quite close to her. She couldn't do this, not before he knew the truth. But her gaze inadvertently went to his lips and he was leaning in slightly—

"Oh, I thought I heard some voices!"

Haymitch looked back towards the door alarmingly. Effie closed her eyes for a moment.

"I hope I'm not interrupting anything," Felix said a little too knowingly for his own good.

Effie, nevertheless, recomposed quickly. "Just chatting the insomnia away, Felix," she smiled. Felix was looking between them with interest. She noticed he was still wearing the clothes he had left the house with. "Did you have a good evening in town?"

"Yeah," Felix replied. "It was pretty good," he looked between them with vague interest. "Well, goodnight."

"I should be going too. I've been here for too long already," Effie said, picking the teacup from the table and standing up. Haymitch did the same. Felix had already disappeared inside. "Tomorrow, do not forget."

"The wedding menu, right," he said dismissively, already walking down the steps and turning towards his own backyard. "Night, Sweetheart."

"Goodnight, Haymitch."

She pursed her lips, watching as he walked away, and went back inside.

* * *

The following day turned out better than Effie had ever hoped for: Haymitch had (mostly) behaved and had not aggravated her as they discussed and chose the last details of the wedding menu, and Felix had handled what was left of the decoration. The wedding was in four days, and now Effie only needed to worry about the weather holding up and that everyone would be well dressed for the occasion.

She was surprised, however, when she looked into the living room and saw both Haymitch and Amabella frowning while looking at the jigsaw puzzle — it was only halfway done, and the pieces were scattered around the table. She felt herself losing her breath for a second; everyone would always say that the little girl looked so much like Effie, but seeing them like this made it so obvious — the gray eyes, the frustrated frown, the pout on their lips—

"She has his eyes," Felix's voice interrupted her musing, and Effie turned out in a bolt, startled and mortified.

"Do you want the whole district to know?" Effie hissed, but thankfully Felix had barely whispered. One look at the pair in the living room told her they hadn't even noticed they were being watched.

Effie pushed Felix in the direction of the empty dining room.

"I never noticed the similarity before," Felix said quietly, "but it's undeniable. I have to say, I suspected? Because he had been so done with this whole thing at your party, and seeing the two of you now and knowing you did not go through with the insemination—"

She didn't bother denying.

"He doesn't know," Effie whispered, interrupting him. Incredibly rude, but it had to be done. As far as she knew, there was no one else in the house, but one could not be too careful. "Is it so obvious?"

Felix pondered on the question for a moment. "Well, they look and act quite similarly, and she has his hair and his eyes, but she's really similar to you too. If I hadn't known you never went through the procedure I wouldn't have caught it."

"Okay. Okay, that's something I can work with," she suddenly felt on the verge of a breakdown. "I've been meaning to tell him, but it's  _hard_ —he doesn't like children, and I tried a few times and it always was  _so_  disheartening, and now she's almost five and she will start asking about her father soon—"

"Effie, breathe," Felix said, cupping her shoulders with his palms and she nodded, closing her eyes. "He seems to get on well with her so far."

She took a deep breath. "Yes, and she doesn't seem to hate him. Always a good point in his advantage."

Felix smiled. "Something she took from him?"

Effie crunched up her nose. "Probably from us both," she was honest, of course. They were both too stubborn anyway. "You can't tell anyone. I think Johanna suspects, but that's it. No one knows."

"I won't tell, I promise," Felix said. "You should tell them both, though. She has already asked you about her father."

"Yes, but so far she's satisfied with knowing that sometimes daddies don't live with mommies," Effie hissed. She started pacing around the room. "I'll tell him first. I don't expect him to be her father, you know. He doesn't—he was always adamant he never wanted kids. This was a  _complete_  accident. I did not know I was pregnant when I cancelled the appointment. I just wanted to think about the insemination some more," she huffed. "Next thing I know, I'm pregnant. Between he and I, we had next to zero chance of conceiving naturally."

Felix smirked. "The odds were in her favor, then."

"Oh,  _really_. Don't be crude."

"So it was just once and it happened. You're not the first person who's been through this, darling."

"Yes, well, twice, I mean. Oh, no, there were three," she ran her fingers through her hair. She ignored Felix's snickering. "I eventually decided not to tell him, but if we take that offer and move to Twelve…"

"Yeah. He'll have to know," Felix said.

"I've decided I'll tell him after the wedding," Effie let out a breath. "It won't steal the children's spotlight, and it'll give Haymitch time to deal with this."

"It makes sense," Felix nodded. "Do try not to end up in his bed before that."

That made Effie stop pacing. "We  _are_   _not_  sleeping together."

"Darling, I've felt the sexual tension," Felix said nonchalantly. "It  _will_  happen. You're gonna be in his bed before this trip is over unless you tell him. Might have happened last night if I hadn't cockblocked you."

Effie crossed her arms. "I will not, I assure you."

"Right."

"I mean it!" Effie exclaimed. She heard a commotion from the living room — Peeta was back. She motioning for the door, opening it slightly. "We rarely reached the bed, anyway."

Felix laughed out loud. "Now who's being crude?"

* * *

"Damn you, woman."

" _Language_."

Haymitch merely shrugged at her. With the wedding being in three days, Johanna and Annie arriving that evening, and the press mostly controlled, Effie had handled the fittings for everyone. Her dress was already all fine for the event, Amabella had thrown a fit because she did not want to take her own dress off after Morello, a lovely girl who used to live in the Capitol but decided to move to Twelve to open her own clothing store, took her final measures, and Katniss' dress had only needed a few adjustments. Peeta would stop by her store later that day for the final fitting of his tux, as scheduled.

Which only left Haymitch.

"I am so sorry about his manners, Morello," Effie said to the young woman as she adjusted the hem of Haymitch's pants. "He has none at all. Time hasn't helped, either."

"I have a good tux here somewhere," Haymitch mumbled, motioning upstairs. They were in his house, and either his housekeeper was late or he had been busy reading old newspapers, because the living room was a complete disaster filled with papers scattered everywhere. "This one feels tight."

"If you mean the tux you wore for the Victory Ball, I do not even have to tell you that it is outdated," Effie retorted. He did look uncomfortable as he kept tugging at the pants near the crotch area. Effie tried not to laugh. "Really, Haymitch. This is the latest fashion. You don't want to wear pants that are a size too big."

"These ones feel a size too small, Sweetheart," he groaned.

Effie shared a look with Morello.

"I have these a size bigger," the young woman offered, looking at Effie. "They will feel less tight but they'll look a little loose, I'm afraid."

Effie sighed. Haymitch had his eyebrows arched, waiting for her decision. He had always let her worry about his wardrobe, despite always commenting on how awful he thought her dresses were. He knew better than to argue.

"Okay, fine," she relented after a moment. "Honestly, you give me more trouble than the four-year-old across the street."

Morello laughed.

"Did you get her to take the dress off?" the stylist asked as she started gathering her things.

"I had to  _plead_ ," Effie answered, "and then I had to promise I'd let her wear the dress for an entire day when we get home," she let out a laugh. "Haymitch, you can strip. This tux will go back to the store."

"You not even gonna buy me dinner first?" Haymitch arched his eyebrows.

"We'll wait in the hall," Effie retorted.

By the time Haymitch reappeared from the living room, he was wearing the same battered pants as before and only his undershirt. Effie scowled at his state of undress but made no comment until Morello left, promising to come back tomorrow with the right size to take the measures. Effie could only hope Peeta wouldn't be as fussy as Haymitch was.

"You really couldn't bother to put on a shirt, could you?" she said once the stylist closed the door.

Haymitch scratched his beard. "This is a shirt."

Effie had to fight the urge to roll her eyes as she turned around to get her planner in the living room.

"It's an undershirt. It's not presentable," she continued, finding her planner on the coffee table and taking a quick look on what was scheduled for the morning.

"Listen, there's nothing any of you hadn't seen," Haymitch retorted.

That made her look up. " _Oh_. I'm sorry, I didn't realize you and Morello—"

"Cut that crap, Sweetheart. She's taken my measurements before," he rolled his eyes. "Not as thoroughly as you have, though."

She  _hated_ how flustered he made her.

"Well," she cleared her throat, deciding to focus on the planner instead, "I was wondering if, perhaps, you could look after Amabella tomorrow afternoon. It's just for a little while," she felt suddenly nervous — for the request, for the fact that he was flirting, for the fact that she wanted to flirt back. "Felix will be busy, I have a meeting with the press representatives from several districts, and I think Katniss is a little sick of her, even if she's too sweet to say anything."

"Sure," Haymitch said, picking up a few papers across the floor.

"She'll be busy with her puzzle, you won't even notice she's there."

"Okay."

"I only ask you not to take her to see your birds."

"Fine," Haymitch said impatiently. "Don't worry. I'll do it. Consider it payback for all those times you had to babysit  _me_."

He winked at her. Effie laughed.

"You mean all my eleven years as an escort, then?" she teased.

"Ah, you only complained half the time," he shrugged.

"And you complained for the other half," she completed. "Do you ever miss it? I don't mean the situation, just the… dynamics. Escort and mentor," she explained dismissively.

He balanced his head side to side. "You were a pain in my ass. Still are, apparently. Still wants to dress me."

"You always dress so much better when I am the one dressing you," she defended herself. "You are right, though. I do not miss the fights."

"I miss making up," Haymitch offered.

Effie could feel his eyes on her as she closed the planner. "You still want to  _undress_ me, it seems."

"I gotta say, I like your new wardrobe better," he took a step closer. "But I don't think I'll ever not want to do that. You look great naked."

She let him take the planner from her hands, ignoring the blush that crept up her cheeks.

"We really shouldn't," she whispered.

They really shouldn't. In fact, she could think of at least six good reasons why they shouldn't, right now.

"We  _never_ should have," Haymitch whispered back. "Never stopped us before."

His hands rested on her waist. She pressed her palms on his chest — whether it was to hold him back or to pull him closer, she couldn't say.

She should have said something, she supposed. That it was a bad idea for a lot of reasons. That dinner would be served soon and they should go. That the windows were open and anyone passing by could hear them. That his front door was unlocked and maybe one of the kids could catch them. That they weren't escort and mentor anymore and this never helped them. That this was too complicated and she didn't want complicated in her life anymore. That the last time they did this they conceived a child.

Instead, she was silent. His palms left her waist to caress her back and slowly go downwards. Her own hands went to his shoulders. His touch felt foreign and familiar at the same time. She could lie all she wanted, but the truth was — she missed this.

And so she pulled him closer.

Effie wasn't sure if she kissed him first or the other way around, but suddenly it didn't matter that anyone could enter the house and see them, or that the windows were open and anyone could listen. It was complicated. She had so many unfinished business with him. He was so complicated.

But it really felt so simple when he kissed her like that.

She didn't resist when he grabbed her behind, only moaned when his hands got a little too rough; she didn't resist when he walked them towards the nearest wall and she was trapped between concrete and his body, only managed to get his shirt off in the meantime; she didn't resist when he lifted her, only wrapped her legs around his waist.

She was a very willing participant.

Her skirt had moved up to her waist when he lifted her, so it was very easy for him to rub against her, fingers moving against her center through the soft, thin material of her underwear. It was fast and rough, and it felt like before; he was groaning when he pushed her panties aside and pushed inside her.

And God, he felt amazing.

His thrusts were hard and fast and it did not take her long to get there; she came hard with a loud moan and he followed soon afterwards. His face was hidden between her shoulder and her neck, and she closed her eyes, panting, resting her head against the wall. He was still inside her for a moment as they both caught their breaths. For a full minute, it felt like it was seven, eight years ago, and they were in some corner of the penthouse in the Capitol.

The moment was over soon, though. He moved slightly, pulling out of her, and she felt the warm moisture around her thighs in an unpleasant way as she unwrapped her legs from him and stood — her legs felt a bit like jelly and she had to hold her arms against the wall for a few seconds.

Haymitch kept his palms on her waist, though, and she was forced to look up at him.

He had a weird look on his face.

She decided to kiss it away.

This kiss was slow, nothing like the few ones they shared in the past five minutes. It was almost lazy. She sighed against his lips and wrapped her arms around his torso. It felt good. They remained that way even after their lips pulled apart.

"Kinda like it when we make up without fighting too," he teased.

Effie let out a giggle. "It's not too bad," he gave her a peck. Then another. This was unprecedented behavior, almost. They didn't usually linger after wall sex, anyway. And that had happened way too often. Their gaze held for a moment, then Effie broke the spell. "I must use the restroom."

He nodded, pulling away from her and fixing his pants back in place while she adjusted her skirt. When she left, he was putting on his undershirt again.

Once inside the restroom, Effie cleaned herself up and fixed her makeup as best as she could — her lipstick was completely smeared around her face so it would simply be easier to take it all off. Thankfully her skirt contained no stains on the outside. It had been way too fast for any other consequence. She took a deep breath and didn't even meet her own eyes in the mirror. Less than five minutes later, she was already regretting this. She felt a little like the silly twenty-something who started this in the first place, so many years ago.

She sighed. What was done was done.

When she exited the restroom, Haymitch was already waiting for her in the hall, holding her planner, now dressed properly for dinner. She walked towards him quickly, not quite ready to face him, so she chose to eye him critically. He had some lipstick on him, as well.

"Thought I told you to go easy on the heels after nearly breaking your ankle," he mentioned as she raised her hand to wipe the lipstick off. She didn't explain the gesture; he simply understood. Too many years covering up, she supposed. Old habits did die hard.

On the outside, she glared at him. On the inside, she was happy for the comment. She could do with some arguing.

"I thought we had a deal. You don't complain about my heels and I don't complain about your geese."

He smirked. She shook her head, trying not to smile back.

They headed to Katniss and Peeta's side by side, but not quite touching.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this chapter came in a bit late! I was super busy on Thursday, it totally slipped my mind. Promise this won't happen next week! And maybe if there are enough reviews I'll even post earlier...
> 
> Next chapter: Johanna and Annie arrive! Meanwhile, Haymitch spends some time with Amabella, and realizes something.


	7. Doubts

 

The kid wasn't so bad. In fact, she was kinda cute. Bossy, which was definitely something she got from Effie. But he wouldn't lie. She probably won him the moment she gave him that battered stuffed rabbit to look after. She seemed to like him too, which was always a plus.

Not that he cared. He didn't, not really. He didn't know why he was letting himself get attached when Effie would be going back to Four in a few days and probably disappear from his life again.

"Ha! I found one!" Amabella cried, obviously finding a piece that fit one of the others. The jigsaw was a little over halfway complete. He had to admit it, the girl was good at it, for someone so small.

"That's good, kid," Haymitch smiled. "Only about fifty more to go."

Effie had left for a meeting, Felix was out doing God knows what, Katniss was hunting, and Peeta was working. That left him to look after the girl. He didn't mind; his own house was being cleaned to host Johanna and Annie, who would be arriving in a few hours. Amabella was kneeling in front of the coffee table, analyzing the jigsaw. Haymitch was sitting on the couch behind her.

"Did you know we have a really big one in my house? Mommy isn't very good at it," Amabella pouted. He couldn't help but smile. "You should visit us and help me."

"Yeah, maybe one day," Haymitch watched as she successfully added the piece to the jigsaw.

"I'll intro-introdu-introduce you to Flower," she stammered a little. Of course Effie's kid would try to say things like that. "You'll like her."

"Who's Flower?" he asked softly.

Amabella stood up, circling the table to look at the puzzle from another angle.

"My chicken. I got her egg at preschool. Mommy let me keep her. One time she did her wings like this and scared Auntie Jo," the little girl giggled as she imitated a bird's wings. "I told her to take good care of her! Because I know Levi won't remember to feed her. So I told her on the phone three times so she won't forget."

She definitely talked as much as Effie did.

"This one, over there," Haymitch said, reaching to pick a piece and hand it to Amabella. She got the piece but frowned at the jigsaw.

"Where?" She put her hands on her waist, looking very serious and very bossy, her dirty blonde hair obscuring half of her face despite the pretty band Effie had arranged in her hair earlier.

Haymitch was about to point when he realized she reminded him of his brother.

It was the exact same pose his little brother used to do when he couldn't understand something. He had the sudden vision of Rowan, maybe aged six or seven, trying to understand as Haymitch taught him how to play chess. They had an old game at his house, one of the few things their dad had left them. Rowan was never into it, though.

"Oh, I see it!" Amabella exclaimed, beaming a beautiful smile towards him as she placed the piece on the jigsaw. "Thank you!"

Haymitch shook his head slightly; what a weird thought. He hadn't thought of his brother in a while. He hadn't thought of his brother at that age in  _years_.

"I think I wanna play with something else now," Amabella said distractedly, running around the table. "Do you wanna play hide and seek?"

"Sure," Haymitch slapped his knees before standing up. His hands were shaking a little. He could use a distraction.

"Okay. I'll start! You go hide," she instructed, turning towards the wall.

She was already starting to count, so Haymitch had to think quickly of a place to hide, considering the kid was little and he didn't know how far she could count to. He settled for crouching behind the couch. He knew it would take her about two minutes to find him, but he supposed he had to humor her.

They played hide and seek for at least twenty minutes, and by the end of it Haymitch was pretty tired of feigning surprise every time he found the girl hidden in very obvious places such as under the coffee table and behind the curtains. She was a good kid, though. Didn't really complain much. Despite the incessant babbling, she wasn't annoying either. And since he had gotten used to babbling from working with the kid's mother for eleven years, he didn't mind it much. It kept him from having to speak more than two sentences.

He didn't think much of Effie, despite everything. The kid was clearly hers, but she definitely had her own personality, and talked a lot about her home and her toys and her classes. He got a glimpse of what Effie's life was like nowadays. He  _almost_  envied it.

Almost.

He made a point of avoiding to think of Effie, if he was being honest with himself. Their relationship had always been more complicated than simple, and it was bad enough that he had admitted to missing her yesterday. He hadn't been able to help it — she was beautiful and she felt so good clenching around him. He had missed the way her nails scratched his back. He had missed how sweet her skin was. He had missed hearing her moan.

It did not mean he missed her voice, or her clothes, or her whole being. It didn't. They were never like that, anyway.

He was brought back to the present as Amabella yawned when he sat back on the couch, done with hide and seek.

"Can you tie my shoelaces?" she asked him as she sat down next to him.

Haymitch took a deep breath. He had just sat down.

Nevertheless, he crouched down in front of the girl and tied her shoes.

"Now you won't fall on your face next time you run," Haymitch said as he finished it, tapping her shoe softly.

"Mommy tried to teach me," Amabella said in a tiny voice. "I'm not good at it. It always falls off."

Haymitch felt his annoyance wavering slightly. He pursed his lips.

"Alright. I'll do it again, and you watch me," he instructed. Amabella sat up straight and stared at her shoes.

He must have done at least five knots and by the end of the second time he was already going with her explanation of bunny ears because that seemed to make her understand. As it turned out, her biggest issue was that she was left-handed while he wasn't, and he knew Effie wasn't either. Haymitch didn't think he had ever taught anyone how to tie their shoelaces since his brother, and that had been thirty years ago. It helped that his brother had also been left-handed. It was a strange coincidence.

Amabella seemed to be getting better at it, but made him promise to help her again next time because apparently Mommy wasn't as good at this as he was.

"I'm hungry," she told him after he had announced they were done tying shoe laces.

Haymitch snickered. Not one for subtlety, then.

"I think there's some cake in the kitchen," he offered. Effie hadn't mentioned the kid couldn't eat anything, so he could only guess she liked cake. "Come on. You like tea? Or milk?"

He had no idea what to do with a kid so young, but luckily she was pretty vocal about what she liked. The good side of being in a baker's house was that you could find almost anything in the cupboards. Haymitch gave the kid a slice of chocolate cake and made her some warm milk. The cake looked good enough so he sat beside her on the small circular table and treated himself to a slice as well. He scraped the frosting off his cake, though.

"I love chocolate cake," Amabella said as she ate, eyeing the frosting not so subtly. "It's my favorite!"

Haymitch snorted. "Yeah, mine too. You want the frosting, though?"

The corners of her mouth were smeared with chocolate. She looked adorable.

"Yes, please," she offered him her plate and he gave her what remained of his frosting. He started to eat and fought the urge to shake his head — how many times had Effie eaten the frosting off his cupcakes? "It's Mommy's favorite too, but she pretends it's not," the girl said very seriously. "She says the cake goes to her thighs, but you know it goes to your tummy first."

"I think your mom should eat more cake," Haymitch said conversationally. "She  _barely_  has a tummy."

Amabella giggled. Haymitch found himself grinning at her.

"I think I should eat more cake too," the kid said, ever the wise. Haymitch snorted and gave her another slice as she drank the milk. Now she had a milk moustache. He should find a napkin and clean her face before Effie arrived and had him arrested for teaching bad manners to her kid. "Thank you."

Well. She did have good manners. It was cute - not that he'd ever admit that to Effie. Truth was, he couldn't stand kids in general. Amabella was like a little adult who needed help to do stuff and liked to play. He could have a conversation with her. He appreciated that.

"You're welcome," Haymitch said, drinking the rest of his milk. He missed alcohol. Badly. "Last one, though. Or you won't eat anything at dinner and your mom will blame me."

Amabella's eyes widened. "Mommy knows  _everything_."

He was about to agree, just to humor her, when he really noticed her eyes. They were pretty. He had assumed they were blue like Effie's. But now, up close, in this light — they were almost gray. Not Effie's at all.

Definitely not the semen guy's, either.

In fact, her eyes were almost the same shade as his own.

She was once again focused on her cake, swinging her little legs under her seat. Her hair wasn't really the same shade as Effie's either. Amabella's was a little darker, maybe. She definitely had Effie's nose, though. And chin. Her whole complexion was Effie's, and her skin was clear and probably as soft as a baby's but not quite as pale as Effie's, either. No, her coloring was not like Effie's, although she definitely could pass for it. Now, watching her closely, he could see it.

It was almost as if she was  _his_ kid.

But no. It was impossible. Effie had said she couldn't conceive naturally. She had an appointment the day after the party. He never called her that day because he would be traveling all the way back to Twelve and he had been nursing that terrible hangover plus the side effects of that ridiculous drink Flavius had given him. Over the years he got a few memories here and there from that night, but nothing conclusive. He remembered drinking more and complaining about Effie's procedure. He vaguely remembered making a very ridiculous joke to the semen guy about  _semen_. He barely even remembered going into the bathroom and seeing that little cup.

All he could remember was that it disgusted him.

" _Fuck_ ," his voice was barely above a whisper.

Amabella turned towards him with alarmed eyes. He was still staring at her. She made a disgusted face that looked so much like Effie. She did look so much like Effie. Except for the gray Seam eyes. And dirty blonde hair. And usually impatient temper.

Fuck. He needed a drink.  _Badly_.

"I think we should have a swear jar here," she mumbled, looking very annoyed. "I  _will_ tell Mommy."

He recovered after a moment, because the girl was staring at him, clearly expecting some reply. He cleared his throat. He felt a little dizzy.

"Yeah, you do that," he mumbled, eating what was left of cake in his plate.

The kid seemed to think he was acting very weirdly, but he couldn't care at the moment. He kept staring at her. He didn't know what to do with this realization. He couldn't be sure this happened that night at the party, but the evidence was all there. The kid had to be his.

He was saved from having to deal with this right now when Felix arrived from the back door, carrying a few bags, probably for the wedding.

"Hey, everyone," he announced, leaving the bags on the floor and making himself at home. Haymitch was still looking at Amabella, who still needed to wipe her face clean. "Cute moustache you have there, Bella. Wait until your mother sees it," Haymitch managed to take his eyes off the kid and look at Felix. He nodded at the young man. "Hey, Haymitch. She doing okay?"

"Yeah. You shouldn't give her more cake, though, this is her second piece and Effie will kill me if she gets sick," Haymitch warned him as he stood up. Amabella gave him a pout. "None of that, kid. You gotta eat your vegetables at dinner or your mom will never let me look after you again."

Did he even  _want_ to look after her again?

Felix was looking from Haymitch to Amabella with interest.

"Listen, I gotta check if my house is ready for the guests. You okay with her for now?" Haymitch asked him.

"Yeah, sure," Felix answered, smiling at the girl. "Effie will be here soon, anyway."

"Okay. I'll see you guys at dinner," Haymitch said quietly. He pinched Amabella's cheek softly and the girl laughed. "Later, kid."

He turned away without looking at Felix, because he was sure that if anyone aged above ten saw the frown on his face, they would know something was up.

He was fucked.

* * *

Annie and Johanna arrived with Levi before dinner, and the meal turned out be a big, but subdued affair. Only Amabella and Levi seemed to be in really good spirits as the two women had spent the day traveling and were not in the mood for ceremony, as Johanna said more than once. Haymitch took advantage of the big group to keep to his own, though it was hard to avoid Effie when he couldn't seem to keep looking at Amabella. He suddenly saw so much of himself on her, and it scared him to death.

He did his best to avoid Johanna too, because, unlike Effie, she did not possess enough tact to not demand an explanation to why he had been sober for a while.

He left the kids' house early, soon after the meal, and was only stopped by Amabella herself when she noticed him leaving as she played with Levi in the living room. She gave him a hug and bid him goodnight.

It was a fucking mess.

He went to bed, even though he knew he would not fall asleep, not without a drink. He tried hard to remember what exactly happened at that party. He tried hard to come up with reasons why this couldn't be what he was thinking — Amabella looked like Effie. Maybe one of Effie's parents had that eye color. Maybe the semen guy's parents had that eye color.

He couldn't let it go, though. Despite everything, he kept coming back to the image of that little girl looking exactly like his brother had when Haymitch tried to teach him chess. She looked exactly like his brother had when he had taught her to tie her shoelaces. It was like seeing a miniature female version of his little brother, and he knew he and his brother looked very much alike when they were young. It was subtle, but it was right there.

Either he was out of his mind and this was just another side effect of alcohol abstinence, or he was right.

In both cases, he'd be going  _insane_.

He was out of his bed and downstairs almost faster than his feet allowed him. He went straight for the cupboard in the dining room, where he used to keep his secret stash. His house was completely silent — he figured Annie, the boy and Johanna must be asleep for hours. The cupboard was empty. Peeta must have gotten rid of that too.

"Fuck," he cursed, even if it was only a whisper, going to the kitchen instead and getting himself some water. He glanced at the kids' window next to his — it was dark. Everyone was probably asleep too. He finished drinking the water. He was still thirsty. " _Fuck_."

"You should be careful," Johanna's voice startled him. He groaned inwardly — this whole thing was already making him vulnerable. "There are kids around. They don't like nasty words."

He half turned around and glared at her. She snickered. He noticed she was still in the clothes she had been wearing for dinner.

"You look like you could use a drink," she commented, leaning against the doorframe.

Haymitch looked at her carefully. "You look like you've had a few of those."

She really did — he knew her enough to know that she was leaning on the wall because she couldn't stand up straight. Probably went out for drinks with Felix. They looked like they were close.

"You won't fault me for drinking," she said, a look of challenge in her eyes. "What's up? You've been weird. You haven't even insulted me yet. And you were not flirting with Trinket."

Haymitch frowned, turning around to get more water. "I don't flirt with Effie."

"Oh, right. You call it arguing," she rolled her eyes. "Why are you sober?"

He drank his whole glass at once, and did not turn around. "Fucked up. Thought it was time to get over it."

"How long?"

He left the glass in the sink and turned, leaning against the counter and crossing his arms in front of his chest. "Four months. But who's counting, right?"

She shrugged. "You did it in Thirteen. Shouldn't have gotten back to it afterwards," she shot him a look. "You're dying for a drink right now. Why?"

Haymitch raised his palms up in surrender. "Newsflash, Johanna: I'm an alcoholic and that's what we do."

"It's not because of this stupid wedding, is it?" she asked. "We both know their lives aren't the fairy tale the media wants them to be. They're fucked up. We all are. Trinket, too. We just have different ways of coping."

"It's not about the wedding," he scoffed. He couldn't care less about weddings.

"Is it Trinket, then?" Johanna insisted. "We all know how annoying she can be. The kid's alright, though."

"It's not Effie," Haymitch closed his eyes for a moment. "I mean, not really. Listen, Johanna… do you remember that party? Before Effie moved to Four."

She grinned. "The insemination party, yes. You got totally hammered. I saw Barry leaving with one of Effie's co-worker.  _Capitols_."

Haymitch made a face. "Who's Barry?"

"Bella's father. The  _semen_ guy," Johanna snickered. "I remember the party. What is it?"

Haymitch took a deep breath. He was getting desperate. He needed a fucking drink. "Do you, by any chance, know what I did in that bathroom, at that party?"

The young woman looked at him with empty eyes, apparently not interested.

" _Seriously_?" she asked, skeptical. "You didn't get laid, if that's what you're asking. You spent like half an hour in that room and it was totally trashed when we got there. Luckily Flavius had a key. The shower sound was on,  _really_ loud, there were porn magazines on the floor, I don't wanna know what you did with those. My guess is that you threw up and decided to lie down and see if you felt better, because that's how we found you."

"Are you sure?"

"Well, I wasn't there, was I? Maybe you jerked off to those magazines and sang in the shower. I don't know," she shrugged, then looked at him, suddenly interested. Haymitch closed his eyes. "Why are you asking?"

"Fuck," his vision seemed blurred for a moment. He blinked. "Okay. This doesn't leave this room," Johanna nodded. He rested his hands on his waist and let out a breath. "I think I'm the father."

" _What_? Bella's father?" she asked, not too quietly. "Trinket's kid? You think Amabella Trinket is your kid?"

Haymitch gave her a look.

It took her about ten seconds to start laughing. "I fucking knew it."

It was a good thing she was all the way across the room or Haymitch might have strangled her and her smartass face.

"What do you mean?" he asked.

"I mean that the newspapers got you leaving her place that morning, and Effie totally denied it, but they caught you two  _kissing_. Right outside her apartment building," she let out a laugh. "And then she had to  _postpone_ the insemination. I just assumed she did it, but this makes much more sense. That kid is all you. She even has a  _chicken_ for a pet, for fuck's sake."

"I raise geese," Haymitch argued. "Wait. She postponed the insemination?"

"Yeah, she said she had something at work," Johanna rolled her eyes. "She had it rescheduled for the following week, but I was home by then. Weeks later, she told us she was pregnant. She never said anything, though. But she never talked about Barry either."

"No, I don't think—she couldn't conceive. And I'm pretty fucked up, okay? We wouldn't conceive naturally. I don't think so, anyway," Haymitch ran his fingers through his hair. "Fuck."

"So you think she went through with the insemination?" Johanna asked, confused. "Pretty sure that kid is more like you than any other person. Except Katniss, maybe."

"No, I mean, yes. I think I might have adulterated that guy's… material," Haymitch kicked himself for saying that out loud. He couldn't believe his own words. "I think I switched those to mine."

"So you're saying you got rid of a guy's semen and jerked off so she would be inseminated with  _yours_ ," she said. It sounded even worse when she said. "That is  _sick_. Why the hell would you do that?"

"I don't fucking know. I remember shit of that night," Haymitch rubbed his palms against his face. "I have no idea, okay? All I know is that that kid right there reminds me of my dead brother, and her eyes are the same eyes that look at me through the mirror."

Johanna looked at him with critical eyes. "That's fucked up."

Haymitch snickered, but there was no humor in it. "I'd drink to that, but I can't because the boy got rid of my booze."

Johanna moved from the doorway to lean against a chair. He remained standing. "Fucking is just so much easier than this insemination shit. Are you sure you switched the material?"

"No, I am not sure. I don't  _remember_ ," Haymitch repeated himself, trying to keep his voice down. "Effie's gonna kill me. Fuck."

"So you admit you fucked her?" she arched her eyebrows.

Haymitch glared at her. She glared right back. He sighed. "We have a history. Okay? Is that what you wanted to hear? I don't kiss and tell."

Johanna laughed. "That's what we call it now. Damn, I'd owe Finnick a drink," she added bitterly. "So you fucked, and then you may have switched the guy's semen for your own. Seems like the chances for Bella being your kid are pretty high."

"I know," he let out a slow breath. "I have to talk to Effie."

"She's gonna be pissed," Johanna concluded, "unless you never did switch the material. Then you'll be sad."

"I won't be sad if Amabella isn't my child," Haymitch said automatically.

"You keep telling yourself that," she said, surprisingly softly. He ignored her. "To be fair, she really reminds me of you. She has your personality all over, plus Trinket's looks. She's gonna be trouble for sure," she chuckled. "Well, I'm gonna go to bed."

She stood up straight and turned around. He didn't ponder over her last words. It didn't mean anything. But he called her before she left the room.

"This is between us," it wasn't a question, just a reminder.

Johanna nodded before exiting the kitchen. Haymitch turned off the lights, and went on to check on the locks — just something he got used to doing in recent years. He had never bothered before. Now that there were reporters all around, he was extra weary.

When he closed the back door, hidden in the darkness of his own house, he noticed her figure on the porch next door, and part of him wanted to go to her then and there and tell her what he thought. He did wonder if she hoped he'd join her like he did a few days ago. The previous day somehow felt like a whole other world to him. Now… Now he might be the father of a child, and he had to think about what he'd do if that turned out to be the truth.

He would talk to Effie tomorrow. It was the last day before the wedding and he knew she would be busy, but he had to find a way.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So Haymitch thinks he has figured some stuff out... but has he? Let me know your thoughts!
> 
> Next chapter: Haymitch tries to confront Effie, but realizes he may have to face the truth behind their own relationship sooner than he thought.


	8. Truths

He soon realized talking to Effie a day before the big event would be more difficult than he initially thought.

When he reached the kids' house — fully intent on talking to her — she was on a phone meeting with Plutarch, apparently, while every now and then she'd excuse herself from the call to order Felix to call someone about some detail for the party. The weather forecast predicted a sunny day, but Haymitch knew everyone — mainly Effie and Felix — were worried about rain and a tent was already being raised in the backyard.

He was in the kitchen, having a cup of coffee on his own, listening to Effie's loud voice and Felix's moving around, when a small figure showed up by the doorway, wearing yellow pajamas and rubbing her eye slowly.

His heart sank. It was weird, really, just - a very weird feeling that spread through his chest.  _She might be his kid._  She might be his kid, and it didn't feel so bad when he looked at her.

He found himself smiling.

"Hey, Bella," the nickname slipped from his lips naturally.

"Good morning," the little girl replied in a sleepy voice. "It's early."

"I know. Your mom speaks  _way_ too loudly," he complained. It wasn't  _that_ early, though. The table was empty. She must be hungry — no one seemed to have seen her yet. "Uh, what do you usually have for breakfast?"

Amabella made herself comfortable by sitting in one of the chairs by the table. "Sometimes Mommy lets me have cereal."

She clearly wanted cereal. He got that. But he had already fed her too much chocolate cake the day before, and Effie had told him that wasn't completely healthy, and he wouldn't fall for those cute eyes again. Besides, he was pretty sure Peeta and Katniss didn't have cereal at home.

That  _he_ had cereal at home was not something to be discussed.

He looked around.

"Uh. Do you like eggs, Princess? Toast and eggs?" he asked. He hadn't had breakfast yet. He could keep the girl company.

"I  _really_ like cereal though. The chocolate ones."

Haymitch pursed his lips. "Tell you what. I got cereal at home, but today you gotta eat healthy. No sugar before lunch. After the wedding though — I'll make you cereal. Does that sound good?"

Amabella nodded. "Yes."

She seemed definitive about it. He saw it as a good thing.

He fixed them breakfast quickly, pouring the girl some orange juice and giving her a portion of eggs and toast that was perhaps too big for a four-year-old child, but better to be sure she'd be full than anything. Her mood improved as she ate — she became more talkative and was certainly looking forward to playing with Levi all day long, because apparently Annie had said she'd look after them.

She had just been telling him that Flower was being taken care of by a friend of Auntie Annie's when Effie entered the kitchen, almost running around, and was definitely surprised to see Haymitch and Amabella having breakfast together.

"Amabella, you are up early," she said, giving Haymitch a look before walking towards the child and giving her a forehead kiss. "Good morning, darling."

"Good morning, Mommy!" Amabella said excitedly.

"In a good mood, too," Effie smiled fondly. She looked surprised when she noticed the content of the child's breakfast. "And you're eating eggs. How come you do not eat eggs when I make them?"

The little girl shrugged. "It's really good."

Effie narrowed her eyes at Amabella, but shrugged and smiled at Haymitch. "Well, thank you for making her breakfast. I didn't know she was up already."

"No problem," Haymitch shrugged, drinking the last of his coffee. "Do you have a moment?"

Effie frowned and checked the watch on her pulse. "I have a few minutes," she nodded. Haymitch stood up, walking towards the back door. "I'll be right back, darling."

He heard Effie following him and he closed the door when she reached the porch. She looked at him as if she already knew what this was about.

"Haymitch, let's not make this awkward, please," she started. "We're used to that. We're two adults, it was consensual, and we never labeled it but I think it should not be repeated."

Haymitch looked at her.

"I'm not saying I regret it," she continued, "in fact, I very much do not regret it because, well, it had been some time since I— but that's not the point," Effie shook her head. "The point is that it happened but it shouldn't have. I have Amabella to look after now. I cannot be irresponsible with—with my body, and my heart. I cannot, because I have her to worry about. So I suggest we just… do not discuss it, and leave it where it is. In the past."

Haymitch crossed his arms in front of his chest and frowned. "Okay," he took a deep breath. "You done?"

"I—Yes, I am done," she was flustered.

"So you don't wanna fuck anymore," he concluded. He felt suddenly angry. "You know, once after five years hardly counts as more than a one night stand. Very  _presumptuous_  of you to assume I'd want to fuck you again."

" _Excuse_   _me_?"

"And I don't remember you saying no," he continued. "In fact, I remember that you were pretty eager for it to go on,  _harder_ …"

Effie huffed, her cheeks a pretty shade of pink now. "Well, I  _never_! You were the one who practically jumped me," she hissed. "Just because we never discussed this in the past doesn't mean we shouldn't discuss it now! I thought I'd be an adult and bring it up—"

"Sure, yeah, especially since you decide to discuss this when you wanna end... whatever this is," he whispered, his mind completely clouded over the argument now.

"I can't end anything if there's nothing here, can I?" She asked. "That's how you used to deal with this, by not dealing, and that never did us any favors, so I thought—"

"You thought you'd end it to avoid problems," he concluded. He took a step closer towards her. She took a step back, and met the wall. He could see the fire in her eyes. He knew exactly what she wanted. "We've tried to end it in the past. It never worked. You know why?"

"It worked for nearly five years," Effie argued back. He was very close now, but they weren't touching.

"It only worked because we were apart," he said. "We can't help it when we're close. We just wanna get so damn closer."

But she shook her head. "No. I don't want to."

"Please," Haymitch snickered. He grabbed at her waist and she saw her knees flutter. "You gonna pretend you're not wet for me under that skirt?"

She gasped. "Must you be so crass?"

"Stop complaining. You like it that way."

"I wouldn't complain if you weren't so rude."

"Well, I wouldn't be rude if you-"

Her lips were on his before he could even finish the sentence, and he smirked against her mouth, feeling the way her hand held his neck a little forcefully. His hands went behind her back, her tongue caressed his, and then one of his hands started sliding down…

The door opened beside them and Haymitch took a step back, feeling flustered himself. It was Amabella opening the door, running towards them and nearly colliding against Haymitch's legs.

"Mommy!" she called, and Haymitch let out a shaky breath. Effie's eyes were wide, and refused to meet his. "I'm all done with breakfast, can I call Levi so we can play?"

"You  _may_ , but only once we're sure he's awake and has already had his breakfast," Effie said, chancing a look at him now. "Do you know if they're up?"

Her voice did not even falter. She had always been too damn good at pretending.

He shrugged. "I left before anyone was awake, but I told them to feel at home."

Amabella stopped right in front of Effie and raised her arms. He watched as Effie automatically lifted her — she might be small but she couldn't be that light, and he saw Effie wince slightly but did not complain. The little girl kissed Effie's cheek and smiled at him from her spot as she lay her head on Effie's shoulder.

"You're such a lousy host," Effie muttered, turning her attention to the child. "Well, we'll get  _you_ dressed, and then Mommy will see if Levi can play with you."

"Can you play with us?" Amabella asked.

"No, I'm sorry, darling. Mommy has to work today," she explained, and Amabella looked disappointed. "We can play after the wedding, though. I promise. We'll have a  _big_ tea party. All your dolls and toys can come."

Amabella perked up immediately.

"Even Mr. Stinky?"

Haymitch let out a chuckle before he could help it.

Effie made a face. "I suppose so, if he promises to behave," she pinched Amabella's nose and put her on the floor again. "Go on and choose an outfit. I'll be right there so we can do something pretty with your hair."

"Okay," Amabella said, already turning away. "Bye, Haymitch!"

"Bye, Bella," he said, watching as she ran into the house. Effie was watching him. He made a point to stop smiling. "So much for talking, huh?"

Effie rubbed her brow, looking a little confused. "Yes, I'm sorry. She just… likes to cuddle. It's always been just the two of us, so… I hope you understand, Haymitch," she let out a breath. "It's not just about us, anymore. Let's just… wait until this wedding is over so we can talk about that. Please."

He shrugged. "Fine. Not what I was gonna talk about anyway," he caught her frown as he walked down the steps towards the backyard. "I'll catch you tonight."

* * *

He ended up running to town to sell some eggs — God knew he had more than he and the kids could eat these days — and ended up in an argument with a reporter who had been standing at the gate of Victors' Village. He knew it would likely cause some trouble with Effie because she had been the one to make an agreement with the press but he really couldn't handle the vultures and their cameras pointed into the village — which most likely featured Levi and Amabella, who were playing among the flowers.

It didn't have to do with the kids. He was just very impatient and not in the mood to deal with the press.

He asked the kids to come inside once he approached his house and took them to see the geese while he fed the animals — both children were excited at the prospect and by the end of the afternoon he had somehow found himself in yet another game of hide and seek.

He indulged them, because he had nothing else to do, and it was getting harder and harder to refrain from drinking. He still had some hand spasms, though not often, and at least the time for hallucinations was long over, but it didn't mean he didn't miss it. And this wedding would be an exercise in frustration because there would surely be alcohol and plenty of people drinking it.

He tried to keep his thoughts in check. He tried to formulate exactly what he'd say to Effie this evening. Because this would be it — he wouldn't be able to wait until the wedding. He had waited long enough. He had to know if there was a true possibility that Amabella was his child. He needed to know so he could start dealing with things. He needed to know so he could start bringing that up in therapy, because he was itching for a drink every time he remembered he might have a kid.

He was definitely fucked up, and he wondered if that child should even have him in her life.

It was late when Effie arrived at his house to get Amabella — he and Peeta were supposed to look after the kids so the women could go out, a sort of bachelorette party for Katniss, though she was the least excited about it in the group. It wasn't ideal, Haymitch knew, but he seized his chance and caught her before she had even reached her daughter, who was currently watching television somewhat sleepily.

"Effie," he called as she entered the house and greeted Annie. "Can we talk now?"

He must have sounded desperate, because Annie looked between them with interest before retreating to the living room with the children.

Effie, on the other hand, looked confused.

"Can't it wait, Haymitch?" She asked. "I have to get Amabella ready for the night and then—"

"No, it can't wait," he interrupted, grabbing her wrist, though not forcefully, and guiding her towards the kitchen, closing the door that led towards the dining room.

Effie was silent throughout the maneuver, and looked strangely out of place in his now tidy kitchen. He closed the door to the corridor as well. When he looked back at her, she was fidgeting nervously and looked very much confused. He pursed his lips and stood from across the room. Maybe he should tell her to sit down, but he couldn't make sense of much in the moment. He had always been a better strategist when he wasn't concerned with himself.

"Listen, I don't know how to say this, so I'll just go straight to the point, yeah?" Haymitch started. Effie nodded patiently. He took a deep breath and met her gaze steadily. "I think Amabella is my kid."

Effie's eyes widened immediately. "How—What?"

"Please hear me out," he asked. "She looks just like you, yeah, but she also looks like me, don't tell me you think she looks like that Ben guy. Barry. Or Jerry—I don't care what his name is—"

Effie was shaking her head, and frowning. "Did Felix tell you?"

"I just mean that—Felix?" Haymitch frowned, not very used to Effie interrupting him. "What?"

"Did Johanna tell you?" Effie asked again. She rubbed her palms against her eyes. "This was not how you were supposed to find out. I'll  _kill_  them. Don't think I won't."

He did not expect this.

"Wait, you knew?"

She looked at him as if he had grown a second head. "Really, Haymitch, I think I'd know who the father of my child is," she retorted. He was speechless for a moment. She seemed to make sense of what she had just said a moment later.

"You know I switched the cups at your party?"

Now Effie looked disgusted. "You did  _what_?" She screeched. "You switched the—oh my God, Haymitch!"

"Now, I don't remember—"

"You switched the cups at the party."

"If you'll just listen—"

"You switched the cups so you've thought she was your daughter all along and you never reached out," Effie said. "You never called, you never asked, and you switched the cups. That is  _disgusting_ , Haymitch. It's low even for you."

"Now, let me explain," he started, speaking rather loudly so she would just  _stop talking_. "I don't remember much after I talked to you that night. Flavius gave me that stuff. I just—I saw similarities between me and the kid, and I remember being inside that bathroom and seeing that cup—"

Effie made a face. "That is  _so_ unsanitary."

"—and she has  _my_   _eyes_ , Effie, have you seen her eyes?" He breathed out. "She looks exactly like you did, I'm sure, but her eyes—"

"Yes," Effie agreed, closing her eyes. "Yes, I know. Her coloring is… she looks a lot like you."

Haymitch crossed his arms in front of his chest, waiting to feel the relief it would come once he knew the truth. It still didn't come. He breathed out slowly.

"So you knew?" He asked. "About the cups?"

She opened her eyes again. "No, how would I know about that?" She huffed. "Oh, this is a mess. No, Haymitch, honestly. Do you think I would let myself be inseminated by some man who masturbated in my friend's bathroom? That is  _really_  unsanitary. No, that was just something Flavius came up with for the party. I would have done the procedure the following day. They had the embryos ready, all five of them. With the right eggs and the right semen. At the clinic."

"So—"

"I did not do the procedure," she revealed, running her fingers through her hair. "I kept thinking about what you had said about… carbon copies, and that I just wanted a child to cope and make sure she got her life right when mine was wrong. I just—I decided not to do it, and I didn't. I had been ready and you just  _completely_ freaked me out."

Haymitch started at her blankly. She did not do the procedure. Even if he had switched the cups, she did not do the procedure.

"I'm sorry. I tried to tell you over the years," she continued. "I called that one time when I found out—I had just found out. I took a pharmacy test," she sniffed, and he noticed she was on the verge of tears now. Her cheeks were flushed. She was ashamed. "It was positive. We had sex that night, Haymitch, and I knew it was you, there was no one else. And I—I freaked out. I didn't know what to do. So I called you, and you were drunk, and I—I wanted to tell you when you weren't. But then I kept postponing it."

Haymitch gulped. "So she's my kid. And you've always known."

"You had made it clear you did not want children," she stated. "You made that clear years ago. You said it yourself you could not have kids, but this went completely against all odds."

"You were in a treatment. Fuck. We were so stupid," he mentally kicked himself. Five years ago. Damn it. He should have stopped thinking with his dick for a second.

"And when I brought my project to you, you were so disdainful, and so uninterested," Effie continued. "That day, when I called, you had asked if I had called the father yet, and made jokes about it being such a dreadful call. I just—I couldn't do it."

Haymitch paced around the kitchen. He barely remember that conversation on the phone. Effie remained in her place. He rubbed at his eyes.

"Why didn't you tell me when you came here? That one time, when you were pregnant."

"I wanted to," she replied. "I did! But you were—you had bags full of liquor, Haymitch. I had long accepted that I'd be raising Amabella alone, and I wanted to tell you, but I didn't want—I'm sorry, but I was having a  _baby_ , Haymitch, and you—"

"I was just a drunkard who gave you his sperm," he concluded. He stopped pacing right then. "Fuck, Effie.  _Fuck_!"

"It wasn't like that, Haymitch," she said softly. He looked at her with fierce eyes. "I didn't  _plan_  it, it just happened."

"Fuck," he shook his head. "Were you ever going to tell me? When she turned eighteen, maybe? When I was dying, or something?"

"I was going to tell you after the wedding. I was!" she added at his disbelieving face. "I was going to let you know the truth so we could see what to do about this, because she has been asking—"

" _Now_  you want my input?" Haymitch spat. "Thought you only wanted that when my dick was inside you that night."

"Haymitch, please lower your voice," Effie asked, looking at the door worriedly. "Amabella does not know anything. I only want what's best for her."

"You sure that's having me as a dad?"

"No, Haymitch. I am  _not_  sure," she said firmly. "Just like I was not sure of what to do when we slept together that first time years ago, or the time after that, or the time after that. Just like I was not sure if you would ever rescue me when I was imprisoned. Just like I was not sure you would ever want to see me again until you showed up at that government party. I  _never_  know with you, Haymitch."

"I'm not drinking anymore," he stated.

" _Now_. Peeta told me you stopped a few months ago, but is it going to last?" Effie asked. "You have to understand. She's just a little girl. Judge me all you want but I didn't want my child around an alcoholic!"

Haymitch snorted. "That's rich, coming from you. I didn't choose the names of all those kids who died. At least I only drank!"

Effie gasped. The house felt entirely too silent. She was closing her eyes. He saw the hurt in her expression then and there and couldn't bring himself to comfort her.

"Fuck, Effie," he repeated, kicking the wall in anger and not even feeling the pain in his foot. He kicked one of the chairs. "Fuck!"

"Will you stop that?" Effie yelled. "Nothing's going to change if you don't want it to change, Haymitch! For God's sake, just stop!" that made him pause. He pursed his lips. Tears had smeared her makeup now. "I just—I want her to be happy. I didn't want her to be heartbroken when you forgot a birthday or were too drunk to play with her or just didn't want anything to do with her. And maybe it would have been different, maybe it was a mistake, but I didn't want you to break her heart when you broke mine so many times before."

"So this is all on me, isn't it?" he asked in disbelief. She let out a humorless laugh now.

"You are unbelievable. And you wonder why I never told you!" she sniffed. "I'm not asking anything of you. I just want what's best for her. When you have cleared your mind, we will talk about this."

"What else is there to talk about?" Haymitch asked as she opened the door to leave. "You gave up some other child of ours during the Games that I never heard about?"

"Just stop, Haymitch," her tone was soft now. "Stop, before you say something you'll regret. We've both done enough of that."

He was not done, and he would say more if he hadn't seen Annie and the two children peering at them from the living room door, right across the dining room. He closed his mouth just as Amabella came running towards them, Effie hugging her fiercely. He mentally cursed at himself for being too loud — he was still trying to get his head around everything, and the fact that they might have had an audience did not help.

"Mommy, why are you sad?" Amabella asked in a tiny voice, and one look at her was enough for him to know she was close to tears as well.

"It's nothing. Mommy is happy to see you, that's all," Effie kissed her cheek and lifted her up. Haymitch was pained to see the bright, familiar smile towards her daughter —  _their_ daughter. It reminded him of how practiced and fake her smiles used to be. "We're going back to help Peeta with dinner. Annie, thank you for looking after her."

Annie barely nodded before Effie had fled through the back door, barely even glancing at him. He ran his fingers through his hair in frustration and left the kitchen to the corridor, cursing at himself when he saw that Johanna was standing in front of the stairs, looking at him questioningly. Luckily, she knew better than to say anything, because he simply walked past her and left his house at once.

He needed a fucking drink.

He ignored the reporters as he left the village and walked hurriedly into town, grateful for the air, grateful that people here knew better than to just talk to him. He barely thought as his feet took him straight to the nearest bar, and Thom greeted him in surprise because he hadn't stepped foot in the place in nearly six months. He ignored the looks from the bar's customers and ordered a glass of whiskey. There was some hesitance on part of the young man, but one stern look from Haymitch was enough for him to start moving and serve him a drink.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lots of drama in this chapter! I decided to post it a day early because I managed to re-write the last few chapters of this story (decided to change some things halfway into my re-reading) and now that that's all done I'm really excited to know what you think of it all. Did you like this chapter? Let me know your thoughts!
> 
> Next chapter: it's the wedding day and Haymitch and Effie still have much to talk about.


	9. The Wedding

 

Haymitch stared at the whiskey glass in front of him.

His mind couldn't really comprehend what had just happened.

Effie knew.  _Effie knew_ , and never told him.

Sure, he had suspected for a day, but it was different actually knowing. He had thought that maybe he'd have to take a blood test or something, to confirm his theory. In truth, he was relieved that, all in all, it was very unlikely that he did switch the samples at Effie's party. They weren't used, and it didn't seem like something he'd do. He hadn't been jealous of the Jerry guy. He  _hadn't_.

Maybe he had been jealous of Effie moving on. He could admit that. He had never thought of having kids, anyway, and there she was, happy and planning for a baby after reaping children's names and sending them to their death. Okay, so maybe that wasn't exactly her choice, or even her fault, but they couldn't erase the past. She had picked the names. He had killed kids as a teenager. He had mentored other children to their deaths.

So, yeah,  _maybe_ , when he had visited the Capitol and slept with Effie and attended that goddamn party, maybe he had been jealous. He couldn't make plans like that. He just lived day by day. He didn't think about the future. If he kept his alcohol consumption up, he would hardly live to an old age anyway.

But he hadn't wanted to father her baby. He really hadn't. He had no emotional stability to raise a child. He didn't live a normal life — even without the drinking, he didn't work, he stayed in, read some books, watched tv, ate some junk food. Hardly the ideal way of life to raise a child in. He didn't even know what it was like to have a family anymore and, speaking of family, that was just another can of worms he was unwilling to open.

And yet…

And yet there was a little girl in that village that shared his blood.

Half him, half Trinket.

How _the hell_  did that happen?

The amber liquid stared back at him in equal strength.

 _If Chaff were here_ , Haymitch thought,  _he'd be laughing his ass off._

Effie hadn't asked anything of him. Haymitch wasn't sure himself he'd want to be an actual father. Did that little girl even need him? Effie clearly was used to raising her by herself. She seemed to have a good support system anyway. And they lived all the way to Four. It would be impractical to try and co-parent like that. He wasn't even thinking of it, if he was being honest with himself.

He could give her money. Effie worked and seemed to do well enough for herself but children were expensive. They had been expensive in the past and they still were. One day she'd want to go to college and he doubted Effie would just let her choose any simple one. He had stopped school when he had been reaped, but Amabella wouldn't have to worry about that.

It was a different world now.

His grip tightened around the glass. He still did not raise it.

It didn't mean he was prepared for this, though. On the contrary. After the whole incident and his subsequent abstinence of alcohol, he simply wasn't in his best form. He had lost weight, he knew, and he still suffered from tremors, and the nightmares were worse without the alcohol to clog his brain. He didn't really sleep well — he never did, and it was worse now that he was sober.

Fuck, why hadn't he used a condom? He carried them, just in case. Time in the Capitol taught him that. He had gotten sloppy with Effie, but that just happened when you're more or less a regular hook up. And they used to be. She was always on the pill, except that night. She had been on a fucking treatment and he had been so, so stupid…

And there was the fact that they had sex just a couple days ago against his living room wall and it had also been unprotected and—he was just asking for trouble now. He really needed to stop this unprotected sex thing with Effie. The thought of accidentally making another baby was too much for him to handle.

He raised the glass.

* * *

It was late when he got home. He tried not to think of Effie and Amabella next door when he walked into his house; sleep actually came quickly but it was not devoid of nightmares. When he woke up again, it was still dark.

He still hated sleeping in the dark.

He was up instantly. Usually he was lazy enough to spend a long time in bed, but he felt restless. After a quick trip to the bathroom and a cup of coffee, the sun was already rising, and he decided to go outside and feed the geese.

Since his backyard was right next to the kids', it was hard not to miss the whole organization going on for the wedding. It looked like it would be a beautiful day, but there was already a big tent covering most of their backyard, and lots of tables and chairs being set up. He didn't mean to look, not really, but it was impossible not to miss Effie, clad in a pink robe and carrying a mug that was probably filled with coffee, as she ordered Felix from the porch and the young man oversaw the preparations. Their eyes met briefly as he was leaving the pen, but she did not hold his gaze. She tucked a strand of hair behind her ear and looked away, focusing her attention back on her assistant. It was brief, but the eye contact was held long enough for him to notice the hurt behind her eyes.

It was a look he had unfortunately become acquainted with very often over the years.

Johanna was seated by the breakfast bar when he got back inside, wearing a very short nightgown. Haymitch considered it a blessing; at least she wasn't naked.

"Fucked up, didn't you?" she asked, not looking up from her cereal bowl.

"How is it your business, Sweetheart?" Haymitch snapped, not in the mood for a moral lesson — much less one from Johanna. He kept busy by making himself another cup of coffee.

"I'm an aunt to her kid— _your_  kid. It's sort of my business," Johanna said slowly. "She didn't go out with us last night. Stayed in and looked after Amabella and Levi."

Haymitch shrugged. "She  _is_ the girl's mother."

"Exactly," Johanna looked up. "If you don't want anything to do with them, fine. I don't know what happened between the two of you and, frankly, I don't care. But don't fuck it up just to get on Effie's nerves. It's not about her."

"She knew that girl was my daughter and never told me a word of it," Haymitch said after he gulped a mouthful of coffee. Too hot. "Pretty sure I'm not the only one who fucked up."

"Whatever. It's not about her," Johanna rolled her eyes. "It's not about you. It's about that kid. So either you're in her life or you're not. Don't fuck it up more than you already did."

Haymitch put the mug on the counter and pursed his lips. "I can't be her dad."

Johanna laughed. Not exactly the reaction he was expecting. Haymitch took a deep breath. It was not a good day to lose his temper.

When she didn't say anything, he had to ask.

"Care to tell me what's the joke?" he grumbled.

Johanna looked at him with a smile. "You. You were a mentor for twenty years. Sure, you're an alcoholic but you must have tried some times. And you got the two lovebirds around you for years. You don't wanna be Amabella's dad, fine. But own it."

"It's not about that. I'm fucked up. I'm not dad material."

"Newsflash, Haymitch: we're all fucked up. You're not the only special snowflake around here," her eyes were serious now. "You can be her dad. You just don't want to. Which is fine. Doubt Trinket is ever gonna ask anything of you," she muttered. "You don't wanna do it, own it. Go next door and tell that to Trinket."

"Not that simple," Haymitch shook his head. "How do you do it?"

She shrugged. "I owed it to Finnick," she took another spoonful of cereal and munched quietly. "I promised him when I stayed behind. Promised him I'd look after Annie. Here I am."

Haymitch let out a bitter laugh. "Sounds like guilt talking, Sweetheart."

"Well, it's not like I got anywhere else to go. They're family," she said. "I don't have any of that left, but I got them. And you got Katniss and Peeta too. Even if it's not ideal — I know they still have trouble with you sometimes," she added. "They're your family too. But you got a chance at having a real one for yourself now. Don't blow this up."

He made a face. "When did you become so insightful?"

"Motherhood," she deadpanned. "They fucked us all up. That's never gonna change. But we're still here, so…"

"Might as well survive for the others who aren't," Haymitch completed the sentence for her. "I'm gonna be quick about it. This… Effie thing."

He made to leave the kitchen, only stopping slightly when Johanna spoke again.

"Hope that's not how you acted when you two actually made that human being."

He took a deep breath and kept walking. It was not worth it.

* * *

He slipped into the kids' house through the front door, same as all the other guests, about twenty minutes before the ceremony. He chatted quickly with Plutarch and Fulvia, as they had just arrived as well, and spoke with Peeta in the kitchen, briefly; the boy was calm and collected, at ease with the whole situation, and Haymitch did his best not to mention any rift between him and Effie. This was their day, and it was not Haymitch's place to bring drama into it.

He went upstairs, then, in hopes of catching Effie before the ceremony. It had been a while since he came to the second floor but it was similar to his house and so he knew exactly which room Effie was staying in. Even if he hadn't — as soon as he left the stairs, he heard her voice.

"It'll be fine," she said quietly. Haymitch passed by a closed door and was happy the next one was open. "You look so beautiful, my angel. A princess. No need to worry. You'll smile and everyone will be enchanted."

"But what if you're not there, Mommy?" Amabella's tiny voice made him stop in his tracks. "I don't wanna sit alone."

"I'll be sitting right up front, waiting," Effie said patiently. "I'll escort you to the yard and then when you finish your flower petals I'll be right up front. I promise."

Haymitch took another step towards the door.

"But what if you're not?" Amabella asked again, clearly anguished.

"Then Felix will be there, and Peeta," Effie said. "Lots of people you know."

He got a clear view of the guest bedroom with his next step.

He was quiet, and Effie hadn't heard him; she was too focused on the little girl in front of her. She was crouching down, talking to Amabella, who was sitting dejectedly on the bed, wearing a white glittery dress and a flower crown on her hair.

"Okay," Effie said. "You can still be flower girl without having to parade in front of everyone. You don't have to do this if you don't want to, baby. You can stay with me."

"But you're working, Mommy."

"Not today," Effie said. "I'll carry you if you don't want people to see you. No one will mind. Do you think you'll fit inside my pocket?"

The little girl giggled. "No!"

"Well, this dress doesn't have any pockets, so it wouldn't work anyway. Very impractical," Effie casually said. "Maybe inside my clutch bag?"

"No, Mommy!" Amabella giggled more.

"Come on, give me a hug," the little girl left the bed and went to Effie's arms, embracing her fiercely. "The best hug I've ever received! And now a kiss," still giggling, Amabella pressed a kiss on Effie's cheek. Effie repeated the gesture. "There you go. You don't have to walk up there in front of everyone today, baby. Okay?"

Amabella still looked conflicted.

In a split of the moment decision, Haymitch spoke.

"She can sit with me if she wants to," Amabella looked up as she heard his voice, and it took Effie a second to turn around as well. "Or, if she wants to do the flower thing, she can just look for me. I'm gonna sit up front. We're, ah, supposed to sign some stuff, right?"

Effie slowly stood up, adjusting her dress as she did so; she was wearing a soft blue dress that reached her calves and hugged her curves just right. She looked a little flustered at the attention, and Haymitch stood awkwardly on the doorway. He watched as she looked from him to Amabella a little nervously.

"She's just worried I'll be too busy organizing to be there."

Haymitch gave them a tentative smile and looked at the child. "I doubt your mom would miss your big moment, Princess, but I'll be up front anyway, if that helps."

Amabella looked wary. "For real?"

Haymitch took a few steps into the room. "Yeah. Got nothing to organize, and no big entrance to make," he shrugged, then crouched down to be at Amabella's eye level. Gray eyes stared into his. "I'll tell you a secret, yeah? I never liked to parade around much. People staring at me. But you know what I did to help?" Amabella shook her head. "I'd stare at one person, and ignore the others. After a while I'd be okay to look around."

"Who did you look at?" Amabella asked.

"Well, your mom, sometimes. She helped," he shrugged, and did not look at Effie. "Since we're not sure she'll be there you can just look at me. I'll wave and then you can look at the others."

Amabella nodded thoughtfully, then looked up at Effie. "I  _practiced_."

"You really did. You know all the moves," Effie said softly. "Do you want to try?"

Amabella looked at him, then back to Effie.

"Yes," she gave him a smile. "I'm gonna tell Katniss!"

She was already walking ahead, in little hurried steps.

"Knock before you enter! And come back here soon!" Effie said patiently.

Haymitch stepped aside for a moment to let Amabella pass, and met Effie's eyes when he looked up. Her expression was unwavering.

"We're supposed to sit together as we'll serve as witnesses, but we don't have to," she spoke first. "If you don't want to, that is."

"It's fine," Haymitch replied, then caught himself. "If it's alright with you, of course."

"We would have to change some of the sitting," she said slowly. "So it's easier if we don't change anything."

"I didn't come here to discuss sitting options, Effie," he said, putting his hands in his pockets, standing a little awkwardly. He noticed the room was packed with suitcases. "I thought you were leaving later in the week."

"Oh, yes. We leave tomorrow," Effie explained. "I wouldn't want to impose on the newlyweds, so we're moving to the hotel in front of the square later."

Haymitch nodded. Effie remained silent, standing where she had been since Amabella fled the room. He missed the presence of the child now; at least with her he could keep a conversation with. He was never very good at this sort of thing, and with Effie he seemed to be even worse.

"Listen, I, uh… I wanted to apologize," he started. "For last night. I overreacted. Didn't mean to disrespect you. It's just, this is a shock to me."

"That's okay,," Effie told him. "Thank you."

He sighed. "I need some time, Effie. To think this through."

"Of course," she nodded. "I do think we should talk. You don't have to make any decisions, but we need to have a real conversation about this."

"Yeah, that seems sensible," Haymitch agreed. "After the wedding?"

"I'll have some work to do. There will be a quick press conference," she explained. "We can meet at the inn this evening. Is six okay for you?"

Trust Effie to keep to schedules.

"Yeah, that's fine."

They were silent. Effie turned around to get Bunny and a doll he had seen in Amabella's arms at least once from the bed. His gaze inadvertently went down her back and to her ass, but he caught himself and stared at the wall for a moment, before his eyes followed Effie as she opened a suitcase and put both toys inside. That reminded him of something.

"Fuck," he mumbled, making Effie turn around to look at him. "Shit, sorry, it's just that the kid left a doll in my house. I forgot to bring it."

Effie nodded. "So that's where Wilma ran off to."

Haymitch frowned. "What?"

"Wilma, the doll. Amabella noticed she was missing early this morning," Effie explained.

"Wilma. Do they all have names?" he asked out of curiosity.

She let out a laugh. "Oh, yes. All of them," he laughed too. "I just hope she won't forget anything here, but with the way she's been up and down I'm sure Katniss and Peeta will find traces of her for months."

Haymitch shook his head. "I don't think they'll mind. They like having her around," he shrugged. It was easier to talk now that the ice had melted slightly. "Nice dress."

Effie looked down at herself, as if noticing she was in her wedding attire in his presence for the first time. Then she narrowed her eyes at him.

"I can't tell if you're being sarcastic or not," she said suspiciously. "This is hardly haute couture, after all."

"Not being sarcastic. It's a nice dress. Looks good on you."

She was surprised, he could tell.

"Thank you," she said diplomatically. "You look nice too. You've always looked better when I chose your outfits, anyway," she continued, not leaving him time to reply. Then she walked towards him. "You  _really_  should have figured out how to perfect your tie by now, though."

Before he knew what was happening she was standing close, hands swiftly fixing his tie, and he suddenly remembered a hundred moments exactly like this, in the past; different time and place and different clothes and different makeup but still… the essence was there.

He had never really let himself think back then how it could be between them if they didn't have the physical and social walls surrounding their lives.

Those walls were down.

He replied just as he used to, in the past.

"You never actually taught me how to fix it and you're always there to do it, so," he shrugged. "There's no point in learning."

She huffed, but it was goodnaturedly. When she finished she patted his chest and stared at the tie with an approving nod.

"There you go," she appeared to be avoiding his gaze. "Johanna told me you left after our… argument yesterday."

"Needed to clear my head," Haymitch said. Not a lie.

"You went to a bar," now her eyes met his. They were insanely blue. And serious. "The girls saw you when they left the restaurant."

So this was what this was about. He sighed. "Yeah. I needed a drink. Still do," she blinked, and tried to mask her disappointment, but he could see it; he knew her too well. She made to take her hands off his chest but he held her wrists. "I didn't drink, Effie."

"You didn't drink," she repeated.

"I went there, ordered a drink," he shook his head. "Couldn't do it."

Her eyes softened. He let go of her wrists. She didn't let go of him.

"Well," she tapped a finger against his suit. It was of a light brown shade; her choice. He would have chosen the blue one but according to her that was not appropriate for a day event. "I'm glad."

She smiled at him, a real smile. He smirked.

The sound of a door loudly closing reached their ears and then the quick steps of a child followed.

"I'm back!" Amabella announced happily as she entered the bedroom, curls bobbing in the air as she made her way towards them. Effie slowly let go of him, but she didn't step away. The child took her hand immediately. "Katniss asks if it's time to go down now."

Effie clicked her tongue. "Almost. I'll have to check with Felix."

"He said he's waiting for you!" Amabella said, frowning. "He was in there too. Are we  _late_?"

The way Effie gasped was almost funny.

"Of course we are not late," she said quickly. "I'll just have to check on Katniss, and then I'll ask Felix to take you to your place, darling."

"I can take her downstairs. No problem," Haymitch offered. He  _was_  going anyway. "We gotta talk about how we'll deal with her big entrance too. Right, kid?"

Effie appeared a little hesitant, but Amabella smiled.

"Right!" She said brightly, all worries forgotten. "We should go, 'cause being late is very rude."

She looked pointedly at Effie, who nodded.

"It really is," she agreed, adjusting the girl's flower crown. "I'll check on Katniss and meet you downstairs, okay?"

Amabella let go of Effie's hand.

"Okay, Mommy!"

Before he could tell what was happening, he was holding her tiny hand in his and letting himself being whisked away by a four-year-old. Something burned in his chest. He was already by the stairs when he looked behind him and caught Effie looking at them from Katniss' closed door, her expression unreadable. The little girl in front of him grasped the bannister firmly before stepping down and he had no choice but to follow; she gave him a bright smile.

In the back of his mind, he wondered if he would need time at all to make a decision. Or if there even was a decision to make.

* * *

Haymitch didn't consider himself a fan of weddings in general. He had only been to a few in his almost forty seven years of age, and he had never thought much of them. He didn't think much of Katniss and Peeta's wedding as it was planned. He dressed appropriately, got there on time, and shared a quick tap on the back with Peeta before taking his place — at the very front, like he promised Effie and Amabella.

He knew this wedding would be different because he genuinely felt happy to be there.

It was a simple wedding. There were not many guests — he was happy to note that Katniss' mother did show up — and the ceremony would apparently be short and simple. He nodded at Johanna and Annie, sitting right behind him with Levi, and a few other guests — he knew just about everyone — and braced himself when only a few moments later a different song started playing and he knew Katniss would be walking down the aisle soon.

He smiled when he saw Amabella first. She was small and cute in her dress, but looked a little anxious until she saw him; he waved as he promised her he would, only to hear movement next to him and see Effie there as well — she did not miss Amabella's entrance, just like she had promised.

The little girl proceeded to smile brightly for the remainder of the short walk she was making. She was holding a basket of flower petals and throwing them around the carpet, a spring in her step — he was sure she was having fun doing it. He could hear Effie cooing and several other people doing the same; many people laughed when she passed by Levi, one of the only children present, and threw flower petals right on his face. The filming crew — he recognized Cressida and Pollux — captured her on camera eagerly. She was a little star for sure.

Haymitch couldn't deny that he was proud of her little achievement.

She shared a look with Peeta before nearly running towards Haymitch and Effie, who patted her hair, careful not to ruin her hairstyle.

"I did good?" She asked them, setting the basket on a chair carelessly.

"You did great," he answered, truthfully.

"You were amazing, my darling," Effie said, pinching her cheek and crouching down to whisper something in the little girl's ear; whatever it was, it made Amabella even happier.

The little girl sat on the chair — even though everyone else was standing — and Haymitch caught Effie's gaze. She was smiling softly at him, then parted her lips, and for a moment he thought she'd say something, but a new song started playing, and her attention was back to the aisle.

Katniss looked beautiful. Haymitch found himself proud as she walked down slowly, her eyes focusing on Peeta instead of the crowd. She had never liked being on the spotlight, even if the spotlight always agreed with her. Her dress was simple, white, and glittery — he could see enough of Cinna in it to really like it. His attention was momentarily taken from the bride when he caught movement in front of him, and saw Amabella trying to peer through the corridor to see Katniss. Effie took her hand, obviously not wanting her to ruin the filming, so Haymitch simply reached for the little girl and took her in his arms so she could see how pretty Katniss was.

Amabella settled instantly in his arms, a little arm encircling his neck, gasping when she saw Katniss — in a way that reminded him too much of Effie. Haymitch was still holding her when Katniss reached them, and he gave her a wink before she made her way to Peeta.

When he sat down and Amabella settled next to her mother, he saw tears in Effie's eyes, and he wasn't sure they were necessarily because of the wedding. He gave her his handkerchief, just in case — he wasn't likely to use it, and he knew she could be very emotional given certain situations. This was definitely one of them.

He wasn't heartless, so he felt a little emotional himself when Katniss and Peeta said their vows. Nothing original, just protocol — Haymitch suspected they had already said whatever they wanted to say in private. He heard Effie sniff quietly and looked at her. Either not thinking clearly or too emotional to care, Effie's gloved hand reached for his — it was platonic, and simple, and it didn't mean anything, only… it did. This were their kids. The only ones that survived, anyway.

Amabella was unfazed by it all, probably deeming the short ceremony boring — at first she had been sneaking glances at Levi and Haymitch caught her making faces at the little boy twice before Effie demanded her to sit quietly. Right now, she was too busy picking at the little flowers engraved on her dress.

After Katniss and Peeta properly agreed on being husband and wife, everyone walked towards the reception area. The weather had indeed agreed to them, even if it was a little too hot for him in his clothes; he ended up shedding his jacket and spent the rest of the party wearing only his shirt and vest, though he caught Effie shaking her head at him slightly — she did not look surprised. They sat at the same table, by chance — it was Felix who had arranged the sitting, she told him later. They shared the table with Amabella, of course, and Annie, Johanna and Levi. Annie seemed hesitant on how to break the ice, but Johanna was quick to throw caution to the wind.

"So you two are on good terms again?" In her defense, she seemed genuinely interested.

Effie had been too focused on making sure Amabella would stop pestering Levi — they were as bad as two siblings, the two of them — to do more than glare at Seven's Victor. Haymitch merely huffed.

"Mind your own business," he breathed, taking a rather long sip of water.

"You sure you don't want some champagne?" Johanna asked, no doubt noticing the gesture.

Haymitch smiled sarcastically at her. "I'm still sober, if that's what you're asking."

He did notice that after that none of the occupants of the table had alcohol during lunch. He was silently grateful for it.

He had helped choose the menu, so the food was extremely to his liking. He even had dessert, and cake — he gave his frosting to Amabella without thinking of it, and Effie gave him a funny look.

"She has a sweet tooth, just like you," he said defensively.

Effie nearly rolled her eyes. " _You_  have a sweet tooth. You just don't like frosting. You've always liked your desserts more than I did. She's exactly like that."

Like  _him_ , she meant, and he understood that she did not want to be too obvious, or to take him for granted. He was grateful for that, too. He was still getting used to this.

It was well into the afternoon when the party turned much more casual and several people were dancing. He stayed by the table, alone now — Felix and Johanna were by the corner, drinking, and Annie was sitting with Rose Everdeen at another table. Amabella and Levi were having their own little dance off by the cupcake table — something Peeta had probably come up with — with three other children, clearly having fun. He spotted Katniss and Peeta dancing, smiling and talking, and he thought that maybe this whole wedding idea wasn't so bad after all.

Effie was talking animatedly to Plutarch, Fulvia and Cressida, her eyes every now and then looking for her child, and Haymitch could see how relieved she was every time she saw the little girl was okay. She didn't have to know he was looking after her as well.

He looked at the dance floor again. He and Effie had had their fair share of dances through the years, for Games' events and Victory tours. He didn't remember ever dancing with her for something other than obligation, though. For some reason, he desperately wanted to.

He could have used some liquid courage but in the end water had been enough to make him get up and walk towards them. When the melody changed and a classical song started playing, he made his decision. He nodded at the group, and tapped Effie's shoulder.

"Wanna dance?"

The words were quick and casual. Effie looked almost bewildered by it, probably already hating his lack of propriety as he took her hand before she had even said yes.

"Sure," she offered, barely able to look over her shoulder to her companions. "Excuse me."

Haymitch led her to the middle of the dance floor, one of his hands settling on her waist and the other holding her hand. Her other hand, on his shoulder, was warm through his clothes. It was familiar enough for them to take their places without even thinking of it. He did notice Effie's eyes searching the room.

"She's playing with the other kids near the flowers," he told her. "Johanna and Felix are looking after them."

Effie relaxed in his arms, her body inching just a little closer to his. He couldn't really look at her face in the current position; she was much too close, as the song asked for it, and to pull away would mean looking directly into her eyes, and he wasn't sure he was ready for that.

"You did a good job," he found himself saying. "The party is a success."

"You sound surprised," there was a teasing tone in her voice. It was small, but it was there.

Haymitch grinned. "Surprised that you can plan a good party? Not really, Sweetheart."

There was silence for a moment. He caught Peeta's eyes on them; the boy looked surprised. Haymitch merely shrugged.

"Thank you," Effie said softly, "for being there for her, at the ceremony. She doesn't do too well with strangers."

"I've known her for less than a week," he pointed out.

He felt Effie's breath on his neck. "Yes, well… she's taken a liking to you."

He smirked. "Not at all like you, then."

He heard her chuckle. "On the contrary. Like mother, like daughter."

Haymitch cleared his throat. "I'm sorry about ruining your night. Since, uh, you didn't go out with the girls yesterday. I know you were supposed to."

Meaning Johanna had outwardly blamed him during lunch for making Effie skip their small celebration.

She shook her head slowly. "It's fine. I wasn't sure about going, anyway. They're young and I usually just want to be home early so I can kiss my daughter goodnight. They should be around people their own age."

He snickered. "You're, what, ten years older? Twelve? It's not that much."

"A little more than that, but I thank you for the words," she let out a laugh. "Is she still behaving?"

Haymitch searched for Amabella from Effie's shoulder, knowing exactly who she was referring to. He smiled when he caught sight of the little girl.

"She just split up a cupcake and gave part of it to Thom's daughter," he told her. "She's a good kid. Relax."

It was Effie's turn to snicker. "She's a good kid, but she's a troublemaker. I'm just making sure there'll be no tears today."

He did catch her eyes at this. "That bad?"

Effie pursed her lips. "Let's just say she's prone to losing her temper and running after other kids. All for the sake of play, of course."

He twirled Effie around for the sake of the dance, letting out a laugh.

"Bet you did that a lot when you were a kid," he commented once she was back in his arms.

"Excuse me," Effie said, "I was a complete angel."

He huffed. "Yeah, right."

The song came to a stop, switching for a gentler, slower beat, and he and Effie automatically pulled away. They looked at each other, and she seemed to expect something, for just a moment, until she broke the spell and blinked away, motioning to turn back to where she had been standing before. Haymitch caught her elbow before she turned.

"We always did two dances," he offered.

Effie narrowed her eyes, but her lips twitched upwards slightly. "We were required to."

"Yeah, well, now I'm  _asking_ you," he shrugged. "If you want to. Have another dance, that is."

Effie ended up nodding, and Haymitch was at least a little relieved that things weren't awkward between them anymore. Or, at least, were a bit better.

She laced her fingers behind his neck and he placed his hands on her waist — still small, still soft. They were moving slowly, and she was standing a little too close, but her head was turned, and he couldn't meet her eyes. He decided to keep quiet until she let out a chuckle.

"What?"

"I'm just thinking that I spent years having to drag you to the dancefloor," she told him in a low tone, "and wondering if you'd ever ask me for a dance, and when you do you ask in the most awkward fashion."

She turned to look at him. There was a glint in her eyes.

He couldn't help but smirk.

"You still said yes."

"Well… it was a little cute."

"Cute?" Haymitch groaned. "In the past you'd've crucified me."

Effie laughed, stepping a little closer to him. "I wouldn't. I still would have said yes."

He pressed his jaw against her hair, just softly. "You'd have nagged me later, though."

"Yes, I would have done that, I think," she granted him the point. "What can I say? I thought it was cute. I also thought a drawing Amabella made of me cute. I looked like a red balloon, and didn't even mind."

"It was a shitty drawing, wasn't it?" Haymitch asked her.

Effie glared at him. "I encourage her to express herself in any way she might like. She  _could_ be an artist in the future."

"I've seen her drawings. Just admit it, sweetheart."

Effie pursed her lips and blinked.

"It was bad, yes," she admitted. "She glued it to her bedroom wall, believe it or not," Effie continued. "The books say we should just encourage them but that child will not be a painter anytime soon."

Haymitch couldn't help but let out a laugh as Effie met his eyes with an indignant expression on her face. She ended up laughing too.

"Well… she has good intentions," she said after a moment. "I did think it was cute, though. I mean it."

"I know you do. I mean," he started, "I thought the drawing she made the other day was terrible too, but she was so proud of it that it was cute."

They danced for a little while until the song was once again exchanged, this time for a more upbeat one. Effie stepped away from him, the reminiscence of a smile still on her lips, and he thought she had never been as beautiful as she was in this moment.

The moment was cut short by the arrival of the small figure in the puffy white dress, brow all sweaty from playing and running around, at least three tiny flowers had fallen from her crown into her hair, and the shoes were more than slightly muddy. Haymitch smiled at Amabella, who smiled back, and it was then that he noticed her lips were slightly smeared with chocolate.

Effie gasped at once, turning towards a nearby empty table and finding a napkin.

"Really, darling," she chastised the little girl as she crouched down to wipe her cheeks clean. "What have you been up to? I leave for five minutes and you look like a complete savage."

Her tone was soft, though.

"I was playing! Tilly found a duck and ducklings," she told them both in a loud voice. "We chased them! I think they went to your pen."

"Inside voice," Effie reminded her before Haymitch could reply.

"But this is outside!" Amabella argued back once Effie was satisfied that the child was clean enough. Her voice was a little quieter though.

"Please do not go chasing birds. They may attack you. The mommy duck would want to protect the ducklings, wouldn't she?" Effie asked patiently. "Can you imagine if someone chased after you? I would  _destroy_  them."

Amabella giggled at Effie's overdramatizing tone, and he found himself smiling at the both of them. Amabella eyed both Effie and Haymitch with interest.

"I saw you dancing," she accused.

Haymitch looked around distractedly, unsure of what the kid wanted with that. Thom accidentally bumped into him as he danced animatedly with his daughter — a little girl who couldn't be more than three, and Amabella's newest friend, apparently — and the young man apologized to Haymitch, who simply shrugged and told him to go on.

"Mommy sometimes dances with Haymitch," he heard Effie explaining.

When he looked back at them, Amabella's eyes were focused on him.

"I think you need to dance with me now that you danced with my mommy," she stated. "All my friends are dancing with their mommies and daddies."

He arched his eyebrows, looking at Effie for help. She quickly butted in.

"You can dance with me then," she offered.

"But you're a girl," she accused. "Levi is dancing with his mommy and Tilly is dancing with her daddy. It's  _proper_."

Effie gasped. "We dance together all the time at home, young lady. I never heard you complaining."

"I can dance with her," Haymitch offered.

Effie's eyes widened. "Oh, Haymitch, it's not a problem. Please don't feel like you  _have_ to."

"It's fine, Effie," Haymitch interrupted. He offered the little girl his hands. "We can dance, Bella. Right here so your mother can see us."

"And her shoes are all dirty," Effie gasped as the little girl quickly grasped his hands and put her little feet on top of his. "Look at that, your shoes are new."

"Shh. Don't interrupt me while I'm dancing with the princess," he told her quickly.

Amabella looked up at him and giggled as his feet moved slowly — he was hardly used to this, but the girl seemed pretty happy with his very few moves. He pulled her up twice, which was enough to make her laugh and laugh, and twirled her in his arms as the song ended. He had never cared about muddy shoes and he wasn't about to start now. When the song was over, Effie was sitting down by the table, her chair turned towards the dance floor, watching them, and Amabella gave her a kiss before going back to play with her little friends. Haymitch looked at her with a smile, the back of his fingers caressing her cheek as he passed her by to get a chair for himself. It was a small gesture, familiar enough, but not one they had tried in many, many years — since before the war.

With his chair turned as well, an arm draped across Effie's chair — but not quite touching her — he watched the reception with the knowledge that this was a successful day.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Things are slowly working out, but Haymitch and Effie still have a long path ahead! Did you like this chapter? It's the longest so far and I rewrote it three times to get it right, so please let me know your thoughts! :)
> 
> Next chapter: Effie and Haymitch tell Amabella the truth, and talk about what will happen now.


	10. Decisions

"I can't believe I'll have to start my puzzle again!"

Amabella had been complaining about this every time she remembered that her toys and most of her stuff were back in suitcases. Effie had patiently explained that it had to happen because the puzzle would never fit the bags, and they would be leaving tomorrow anyway. But no, the four-year-old was too annoyed at having to do the same task  _again_.

Haymitch's daughter, really. Through and through.

"We'll work on it together when we're home," Effie promised as she combed Amabella's hair. She caught the moody glance the little girl gave her from the mirror. "I promise! I know I'm not that good at it, but I will do my best."

Amabella sighed. "I don't like this room. I liked the village better."

Effie took a deep breath. "I know, baby. It's just for one night. You miss home, don't you? And Flower. And your own bed. Aren't you sick of sleeping with Mommy?"

"No!" Amabella giggled, and Effie shook her head, unable to be annoyed at her, even if she did take up a lot of room in bed for someone so small.

In truth, the hotel was perfectly adequate. It was a very new building and the rooms were much better than she had hoped — she even had a small sitting room adjacent to the bedroom. It was located near the town square and, even though Effie would have preferred somewhere that brought less memories, Twelve was so different from what it used to be that it hardly resembled what she remembered.

Of course Katniss and Peeta had assured her they could stay but Effie knew enough to give them the privacy they deserved. She certainly hoped to get a proper honeymoon if she ever got married. Not that she ever really thought about it these days.

Either way, the wedding was a success, photographs and articles would surely be all around by the morning, Effie and Felix had done their part in handling the press and releasing statements, and she had been successful in getting Amabella out of the perfect princess dress she loved so much and giving her a much needed bath. She was now a little drowsy from the bath and the excitement of the party, so Effie let her choose a comfortable cotton dress to wear.

"There you go," Effie said as she finished combing Amabella's locks. "What did you think of the wedding, baby?"

"It was so much fun!" Amabella said excitedly. "I think I  _love_  weddings. Can I be flower girl when you get married, Mommy?"

"Mommy is not getting married, darling," Effie laughed. "Come on. Time for your nap."

"I just need Bunny," Amabella said, quickly walking over to Effie's handbag and finding the battered stuffed rabbit.

She went to bed with no protests, and Effie tucked her in slowly, sitting on the bed and watching her. Amabella blinked sleepily.

"Nap with me, Mommy?"

It was really hard to deny her.

"Just for a little while," Effie granted, joining her on the bed. She snuggled close to her daughter, breathing in her soft smell. "Mommy still has work to do."

"Mommy, you work way too much, way too hard," Amabella sighed dramatically. Effie couldn't help but smile. She loved saying that, ever since she heard Felix saying it.

Her eyes slowly met Effie's, a sly smile on her lips. Effie laughed, which made the child giggle. She tossed and turned for a few moments, trying to get comfortable, and before long she was asleep, her deep breaths almost lulling Effie to fall asleep too.

Instead, Effie watched her.

She had been  _adorable_ at the wedding. Everybody was captivated. Effie would have to ask for her own copy of the wedding video, and she would cherish it. She was glad Amabella reconsidered playing the part; Effie would have never made her do something if she didn't want to, but she had hoped she was just a little nervous at the attention she'd get.

Her little miracle.

A moody one, sometimes, but Effie loved her  _so much_. Amabella was such a sweet child. Seeing her today warmed Effie's heart — she was growing up so fast. And to see her with Haymitch too — dancing and laughing, walking together, hugging… it was everything Effie had ever wanted.

Haymitch didn't know how many times she nearly called him over the years.

Haymitch didn't know that she had actually completed one call the day she had been back from the hospital with the baby.

He never answered, and she never had that same courage again.

Even now, she had no idea what to expect from him. She knew he had never actually wanted to be a father, and she could respect that; even with Amabella being a surprise, Effie still had never had any illusions surrounding Haymitch. Her mistake was that she didn't have the courage of telling him that first time, when she had just found out.

Who knew, perhaps getting to know Amabella would actually make Haymitch reconsider his decisions around fatherhood. Meeting a little person who was actually half of him and half of her; it would have been scandalous ten years ago, surprising five years ago, and maybe it would make for some attention nowadays, but it was always a risk they were willing to take. They were stupid — she knew they were, and she couldn't blame Haymitch alone for this — not to use protection that night, but then they had also been lucky this never happened years before. It wasn't like they had always been so careful.

And still Effie could not regret it.

Amabella scrunched up her face in her sleep, and turned away from Effie, a soft snore escaping her lips. Effie let out a chuckle and quietly left the bed.

She knew exactly what she wanted to tell Haymitch this evening. She didn't want him to make any harsh decisions, and she'd give him time if he asked. She could do this alone — his support would have certainly helped, especially when Amabella had still been a baby, but now she was used to doing things her own way and handling what came with raising a child alone. She could live with whatever decision Haymitch made.

She just hoped he could too.

* * *

Haymitch waited impatiently in front of the door; there was a 'Do Not Disturb' sign by the door handle and he briefly wondered if maybe he should have called before showing up but Effie was the one to specify the hour for their meeting of sorts. He had enough faith in her to think that she wouldn't forget.

Before long, however, the door opened, and Effie greeted him. She was dressed in a pair of black skin tight pants and a loose blue blouse — and flat shoes. He was still not used to seeing her so… practical.

He shook the doll he had been holding in front of her.

"Brought Wilma," he said by way of greeting.

Effie immediately took the doll. It was ugly, in his opinion. Bright purple hair and the dress was simply hideous.

"Thank you. You know, this was mine when I was little. I don't know why my mother kept it. Sentimental value, or something," she rolled her eyes and stepped aside. That explained a lot. "Do come in."

The hotel room was simple for Capitol standards, but it was certainly a luxury for Twelve. There was a small sitting room — the television was muted, but Effie had been watching the news — and a door that Haymitch supposed that led to the bedroom, and sliding doors that led to a balcony. It was one of the few hotels in Twelve, and the newest one too — clearly an improvement from the others.

He sat down on the sofa — the only other option was an armchair that was currently occupied by a big brochure. As he expected, Effie took the brochure and put it on the coffee table, and took a seat on the armchair.

"Uh, where is she?" He found himself asking right away.

Effie ran her fingers through her hair — slightly damp from a shower, he noticed. There were no traces from the wedding on her. "Asleep. She had a lot of excitement for one day. I only had time to give her a bath before putting her down for a nap."

Haymitch nodded. It all still felt so surreal.

"We'll hear when she wakes up, don't worry," Effie added.

"Okay," he folded his hands in front of him. He was glad of the distance between him and Effie. He needed to focus. He came here prepared and he knew what he wanted to say — he could only hope Effie would be understanding. "How much does she know?"

He watched as Effie took a deep breath. "She has a very basic notion of everything. She just started preschool and she has plenty of classmates who only live with one parent. She knows she has a daddy, but he doesn't live with us and she hasn't been very curious so far."

Haymitch pursed his lips. "Yeah. Guess she's still young."

"She hasn't had any reason to miss having a father yet," Effie said bluntly. "The only child she's had more contact with is Levi, and his situation is hardly traditional. So to her, it's just very normal."

"I think we should tell her. As soon as possible," he told her firmly. "She's still young, the shock will be smaller. I don't want her to think we've fooled her somewhere down the line."

Effie nodded slowly. "I couldn't agree more."

"I'm not sure how… I'm still thinking about the whole being a father thing. I won't lie," he chose not to look at Effie. "I'm not cut out to be a dad. I don't want to disappoint her. I gotta be focused to do this. I… I need time."

He did look at Effie then. She was processing his words, but ultimately nodded; she closed her eyes for a moment.

"Of course," she said. "I understand this is a shock. You didn't ask for this. I don't want you to do this unless you're a hundred percent in, Haymitch," she gave him a pointed look. "This is my daughter. If you decide to be her father, I'm willing to help the transition in any way I can. But if you decide to step away, it needs to be now. Not later. Not after she's attached."

He raised his palms up in surrender. "That's why I'm asking for more time."

"Okay. It's only sensible," Effie agreed.

"I also want to know where we stand," Haymitch continued, "legally."

"You're on her birth certificate," Effie replied. This surprised him. "I wasn't going to, but I wanted to make sure you were listed. Just in case something happened to me. You  _are_  her father," she said. "We can… do blood tests if you want. I won't be offended. But there was no one else, she… she's your daughter."

"Did you think of telling me?" He asked abruptly. "I'm not questioning her paternity. I know she's mine. But when she was born, did you think of telling me?"

Effie sighed. "Countless times. It wasn't… she was a good baby. But it wasn't easy."

Haymitch nodded thoughtfully. "Regardless of my involvement… I want to help. Financially," he clarified, and Effie was already protesting. "I know you do well on your own, but I got the money and I ain't using it anyway. She's the only family I've got. I want to help. At the end of the day, my money is hers."

Effie was quiet. He meant it — Katniss and Peeta wouldn't need financial help, and even making donations and having wasted a lot of it in booze he still had more money than he could spend. The least he could do was provide for the child he fathered.

"She's not the only family you have," Effie said softly. "Katniss and Peeta would be offended to hear you talk like that. And I know I'm just the mother of your child, but I like to think we're more than that."

Haymitch smirked. "More than my kid's mother?"

She rolled her eyes. "You know what I mean. If you decide you want to do this, I… I'd be happy if we could become friends."

"Friends," he tried the word in his mouth. Felt weird. "Sure."

"I can tell her when she wakes up, if you want to," Effie offered. "That way you can have some time before we leave in the morning. Just to spend some time with her as… a parent, I suppose. You don't have to actually do any parenting, she doesn't know how this works, so it's not like it should be a mess. I was planning on taking her to dinner downstairs in a little while anyway. You're welcome to join us."

Hell, Effie could  _talk_. Haymitch blinked, trying to comprehend all that she had said — and she was nervous, even if she pretended not to be — and while it wasn't something he had envisioned he supposed it was only right. Who knew when they'd have another opportunity? The more he thought of it, the more he thought Amabella should know right away. It had been bad enough for him to be shocked at the whole situation; it was best to have this done and over with before the kid was old enough to hold a grudge.

"Yeah, sure," he nodded after a moment. "You're lucky you won't be around when I tell the kids."

Effie cringed. "Do you think they'll react badly?"

Haymitch shrugged. "Not badly. They'll be surprised. Katniss might threaten me," he added, and Effie appeared nervous. "Don't worry, I can handle it. I'm more worried about handling the kid in question."

Effie did smile at that. "I think you'll be fine. She likes you. That's a good point in your favor," she looked at the clock nervously. "And you brought Wilma."

Haymitch let out a chuckle. "Yeah," he gave her a side look. "You got a lot of your toys around, Sweetheart?"

"Oh,  _please_ ," she rolled her eyes. "My mother had a box of my old things. I managed to save a few dolls when I learned I was having a girl. And as for  _other_   _toys_ ," she gave him a look, "I'm sure I don't understand what you mean."

"I didn't mean anything," Haymitch arched his eyebrows. Effie glared at him. "I do remember this one time in the penthouse—"

A pretty flush spread around Effie's neck and bosom.

"Stop it," she hissed. "Leave it to you to remember that, but not remember that meeting we had the next day. It was  _devastating_."

Haymitch rolled his eyes. "Not my fault I remember good stuff."

Effie groaned and looked away. "Seriously, Haymitch. We have to stop with this. We can't just…"

"Just what?"

"Just… flirt and tease and have intercourse and go on with our lives!" She hissed. "We can't do this anymore. It's… we have to think about her. She deserves more than this—we're too complicated."

"I wasn't saying anything!" Haymitch defended himself. Effie did not budge. "Focus. Okay."

A loud thump was heard from the bedroom.

"I mean it, Haymitch," Effie warned, standing up. "I'll go check on her. Just… make yourself comfortable."

He couldn't really make himself more comfortable because he was tense as hell — although the view of Effie's ass as she turned around made for a good distraction, as brief as it was.

"And stop staring at my derrière," she said, without so much as a glance to him.

He didn't, but she disappeared into the bedroom a moment later.

He was still  _tense_.

He tried not to think of the muffled voices coming from the bedroom — it was clear Amabella was up. Maybe Effie wouldn't tell her, in the end. She had stalled telling him so maybe she'd just choose to tell the child once they were home and he was far away — it was weird to think that life could simply go back to what it was and what it had always been after this. They still had so many issues to talk about, and he knew Effie was right about their relationship — whatever it was.

Besides, it would take a while for him to feel comfortable after she hid this from him for so long.

Although… this was Effie. He did trust her. It was implicit; despite the issues they all had, he had always trusted her, even if he questioned her judgment and mental faculty at times.

Haymitch stood up. He could leave, he supposed. If Effie didn't tell Amabella, then he had no reason to stay. It wasn't like the girl could expect much from him. As Effie said, she didn't know dads in general. She wouldn't know what he should do.

He looked at the doll on the coffee table, and took it. He had found it in his favorite armchair at home.

He wouldn't leave. Despite what he decided to do later on, the kid deserved more than this. He wouldn't bail — they lived in a free country now. She wouldn't be a target of the government because she was related to him. She wouldn't have to see any reapings or be afraid of getting her name chosen. She would live in a different world that he had lived — and Effie had lived as well.

He wouldn't bail.

After what seemed like an eternity, the bedroom door opened — by Amabella herself. She was wearing a bright yellow dress, and her hair was in pigtails — a little messy from sleep, but cute. She looked a bit like she had before the wedding — shy, and unsure. Effie stood behind her, and nudged her forward slightly.

"Go on, darling," Effie said softly.

Haymitch walked slowly towards the door, and crouched down in front of her.

"Hey, Bella."

Her eyes were wide as they met his. "Hi," she said quietly. "Mommy said you're my daddy."

He wasn't prepared for the wave of emotion that hit him as she said those words. Gray eyes staring back at him. Her expression made him remember the day he had seen Effie again months after the quell. Uncertain. A little wary.

"Yeah," he croaked. "Yeah, I am."

"Is that why you danced with me today?" Amabella asked him suspiciously.

Haymitch chuckled. He heard Effie laugh as well, but didn't look at her.

"No," he said honestly. "Well, yes, but also because all princesses deserve a dance, don't you think?"

Amabella nodded shyly.

"Unless I was a bad dancer," Haymitch cringed. "Did I step on your foot?"

That made her giggle. "No! I stepped on  _your_ foot!" She looked up at Effie, then again at him. Then she noticed the doll he was holding. "Wilma! She ran away from home yesterday."

"Right. Quite the Rebel, this Wilma," he handed her the hideous doll, but Amabella seemed very happy as she hugged the doll. "She was sitting on my favorite chair and everything."

"She does that sometimes," she said seriously. She looked up at Effie again, seemingly questioning something. "I… I don't know what daddies do. Mommy said that's okay."

"Yeah, it's okay," Haymitch nodded. "I don't know either. We can find out together, yeah?"

Amabella nodded, smiling softly at him. She took a tentative step towards him.

It wasn't going so bad.

"Do you know what we should do first?" He asked.

She thought his question over, her tongue peaking out from her lips.

"Have ice cream?" She asked.

Effie interrupted then.

"Not before dinner, young lady."

Amabella made a face, and Haymitch did the same.

"Maybe when your mommy isn't around," he whispered, but it was still loud enough for Effie to hear. She pretended not to, and Amabella giggled.

Before he could tell what happened, she was throwing her arms around his neck, doll forgotten on the floor, and hugging him. It took him a second to hug her back.

This time, he did look up at Effie, and she was blinking repeatedly — trying not to cry. He gave her a smile, and patted Amabella's back.

"Daddy?"

A warm feeling spread over his chest as he heard the word directed to him for the first time.

"Yeah?" His voice wasn't as strong as he hoped it would be.

"Since you brought Wilma back, can I give you something?"

She pulled away slightly, eyes twinkling.

Haymitch nodded. "Sure."

"I wanna give you a swear jar!" She said excitedly.

Effie snorted behind her.

Haymitch cringed slightly.

"Can I, Mommy?" Amabella looked back at Effie.

"We can buy your daddy a swear jar," Effie granted her. "He does need one. Why, I should have given him one years ago."

Haymitch glared at her, and Amabella giggled, hugging him again and giving his cheek a kiss.

Even with a swear jar, it didn't go so bad at all.

* * *

There were a few restaurants in Twelve nowadays — not that many, but enough that there were a few options. Haymitch led them to the best out of them, in his words — which meant that perhaps service wasn't the best or the place wasn't the fanciest but the food was good. Effie was pleasantly surprised. It had been a good choice.

She did allow Amabella to have ice cream for dessert — she herself passed the opportunity, but watched as both Haymitch and the little girl devoured chocolate ice cream with much gusto.

"Are you gonna live with us now, Daddy?" Amabella asked in a small voice, watching him with attention, in between spoons of ice cream.

Haymitch coughed — clearly the question was unexpected.

Effie decided to answer herself.

"No, darling. We live in Four, which is a long way from here," she explained. Amabella still looked bewildered. "Remember how I told you sometimes daddies didn't live with mommies? It still counts. Besides, where would we find room for your father?"

This made the child laugh. "With Flower!"

"The chicken? Good heavens," Effie humoured her.

It gave Haymitch enough time to recover. "You don't see me putting you with the geese, do you, Princess?"

Amabella giggled. "No."

The subject forgotten — thanks to Haymitch prompting to do a magic trick, something completely disgusting as he got a spoon full of ice cream into his mouth, and then back again on the spoon once Amabella had seen it wiped clean — and it did not help matters when Amabella tried herself the magic trick — spoiling it when she swallowed the content of the spoon before she could remember herself — prompted a pleasant dinner.

Things were working out, at least. Maybe not the way Effie had imagined it, but they were. It was clear that Haymitch was trying, and Amabella was finding the whole thing a novelty — messy magic tricks aside, it was nice. Watching them together, though, made Effie want to go back a few years and tell Haymitch earlier.

Oh, well. What was done was done.

"Mommy?" Amabella asked. Effie hummed her reply, focusing on the little girl sitting beside her. "If we move here, are we gonna live with my daddy?"

She could feel Haymitch's eyes on her before she even spoke.

"No, darling. If we move here, we'll have our own house. With a backyard," Effie added.

"So I can have a kitten!"

"I said we'll see what happens, hm?" Effie touched Amabella's nose and the little girl blinked.

"Can I go play now?" she asked, pointing towards a small children's area in the restaurant, just a few tables from them.

Effie eyed the playground with careful attention, deciding not much could come to harm in such a small place. "Okay, but just for a little while. We're leaving soon, baby."

Amabella was off without so much as a glance behind her, entering the little plastic house and exiting from the other side a second later, exploring the room. Effie fidgeted in her seat, and looked at Haymitch slowly.

He was arching his eyebrows, already waiting for an answer to an unspoken question.

"I've had a job offer. Here in Twelve," Effie told him. "I'm still not sure if I'll accept it. Truth be told, I'm waiting to see how we deal with… this whole situation before making a decision."

Haymitch leaned towards her on the table. "So you're considering it?"

Effie nodded. "It's in a different area, and it would give me more time with Amabella. It doesn't pay as well as the government but Twelve is less expensive than Four, so… I am considering it, yes."

"What's that got to do with our situation?" Haymitch asked nonchalantly. "You want the job, you take it. If the kid knows, you probably want it."

Effie did her best not to roll her eyes. "It's not that simple."

"Why not?"

"How am I going to explain to her that her father who lives across town wants nothing to do with her?" Effie asked him. "It's a possibility. It's easier to make excuses if we're not here. So, yes, it is very much related to our situation."

He sat back on his chair. "So basically it all comes down to me."

"No, Haymitch," Effie said impatiently. "It all comes down to  _her_. Don't you get it?" she took a deep breath. "I want what's best for her, and I hope we can do this together, but it's your decision to make. Not mine," she added, then looked back to her daughter. "Amabella, time to go!"

"It's still early," Haymitch commented, looking anywhere else but at her.

"We have an early train to catch in the morning," she reminded him, reaching for her purse, but he held her arm while taking his wallet from his pocket. "It's fine, Haymitch, I…"

"This one's on me. No big deal," he insisted, just as Amabella reached the table, slightly out of breath and eyes twinkling. Effie's heart broke just wondering how anyone would not consider being in her life. "Hey, munchkin."

The little girl looked at him with interest. "What's a munchkin, Daddy?"

"Short stuff," Haymitch answered her. "Small people. Like you."

She crunched up her face. "I'm not  _that_ little."

"Sure you are," Haymitch argued. "Your mom is little too. She only pretends to be tall in those high heels of hers."

Effie let out a snort as she slowly stood up. The little girl giggled.

"But Mommy is tall," she argued.

"For now," Effie interrupted the conversation. "Maybe you'll grow up and be taller than me, then you'll think I'm short," she joked. "Come on, baby. We should say goodbye to Daddy. We have a big day tomorrow."

"I won't forget the swear jar, Daddy," Amabella said, throwing her arms around him to give him a hug.

Effie watched her scene quietly, trying to control her emotions as well as possible. Haymitch and Amabella exchanged quiet words, and she gave him a loud kiss on the cheek before coming back to her mother, her little hand reaching for Effie's automatically.

"I can walk you back to the hotel," Haymitch said, standing up as he tossed some bills on the table.

"It's just the next building," Effie said. "No need to worry."

He nodded. "I'll see you when I see you, then."

He used to say that to her when he left the Capitol each year after the Games. It had been bittersweet then.

It was devastating now.

So Effie simply nodded, and when he made no move she stepped away, taking Amabella with her. She smiled when the little girl looked back happily and waved him goodbye, and a part of her was already wondering if she had done the right thing by telling her the truth.

* * *

The next morning, early at the station, she carried a half asleep Amabella in her arms before following Felix into the train.

Haymitch never showed up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We're nearly at the end! Two more chapters to go. What did you think of this chapter? Let me know!
> 
> Next chapter: Effie and Amabella are back in District 4, but there's a surprise.


	11. A Big Deal

A week after Effie and Amabella left Twelve, Haymitch was enjoying the peace and quiet of his home.

 _Enjoying_  was a strong word, though.

So were  _peace_ , and  _quiet_.

In fact, it was hard to consider life peace and quiet when one's life was tormented by nightmares and paranoia.

He couldn't really sleep during the night. He had always had that problem, in the past, but it had gotten better in recent years, after the war. Now, his body kept weird hours at best, and he only tried to remember to feed the geese at the right time. Without having liquor to brighten his day, or make his mind hazy, the nights went by slowly. With the recent, new nightmares that had decided to haunt his sleep, the days went by even slower.

He hadn't called Effie. It seemed like a waste of time, to give her hope, or crush her dreams — whichever was the most heartbreaking option, he had no idea. He tried not to think of the kid, but his dreams reminded him of her nearly daily.

The kids had left him be, either thinking the wedding celebrations had been too much for him or that all the guests had made him sociable enough for a whole month. Haymitch had been hoping this would keep going, but he was woken up abruptly this afternoon by someone shaking him — which served him right, considering his sleep had hardly been  _pleasant_ so far.

"The hell?" he mumbled, unused to this. Ever since he got sober, Peeta and Katniss didn't bother him in his sleep.

"Wake up," he saw Peeta hovering over him on the couch. Katniss stood a few feet behind him. It took him about two seconds to properly open his eyes. "We have to talk."

Haymitch sat up slowly, rubbing at his eyes tiredly. "What's the matter now?" their faces were gloomy at best. "Honeymoon over?"

Katniss folded her arms in front of her chest. "You haven't shown up for dinner."

Haymitch yawned. "Yeah. I have food here too, you know."

"Your house smells bad," she made a face while Peeta sat on the armchair. "You haven't let your housekeeper in?"

"I haven't been in the mood for company," Haymitch said slowly, arching his eyebrows, "if you catch my drift."

Katniss let out an indignant sigh. Peeta then spoke. "Have you watched television this week, Haymitch?"

Haymitch glared at him. "Do I look like someone who watches a lot of television, boy?"

"You've been subject of some gossip this week," Peeta continued. "We didn't really pay attention to it, but Annie called today and we talked," he shared a look with Katniss. "You're Amabella's father."

It was more of a question than a statement, so Haymitch eyed them and nodded.

"It's been all over the news," Katniss said. "Effie's been quiet about it. I guess you haven't answered your phone or left the village enough for the reporters to get you," she rolled her eyes. "How did  _that_ happen?"

"We had sex," Haymitch said shrugged. "It was not the first time. Wasn't the last, either, come to think of it."

Katniss and Peeta looked as uncomfortable as he felt.

"Seriously? That's how you're explaining this?" she cringed.

"Do you want me to tell you we fell madly in love and decided to have a baby together?" Haymitch asked sarcastically. "There isn't much to tell. It was an accident."

"But why didn't you say anything?" Peeta asked.

"I wasn't made aware of it until last week," Haymitch told them. "I fail to see how any of this is your business."

He looked pointedly at both of them. Katniss' gaze was too intense for him — he ignored her. Peeta seemed to be lost in thought.

"You're not gonna do this, are you?" Katniss spoke. "You're just not gonna do a thing about it. Amabella is just a kid and she has a mother and a father and you're just not gonna be there."

"She has a good mother. Effie's got a good support system," Haymitch told them. "Again, it's none of your business."

"We don't have parents," Katniss said. "None of us. Either because they abandoned us or died. You're right here. You were doing good sober. What's the problem now?"

"Did Effie ask you to talk to me?" he huffed. "Believe me, Sweetheart, that kid is better off in Four. I'm giving her my money. She's gonna be able to go to school and have toys and all the silly makeup she'll want when she's a teenager. I'm here, and she's not gonna miss me there."

Katniss let out a humorless laugh. "You don't get it, do you? You're  _able_ to be there for her. She could  _help_ you remain sober," she shook her head. "At least tell me you were honest with Effie.  _And_ Amabella."

He said nothing.

"You know what? Just stay here and rot. I fed your geese this morning, by the way. They were starving," she gave him a look and stormed out.

The boy remained seated.

"Annie learned because Bella told Levi about you. She's excited about you."

"Yeah, she doesn't really know me, kid."

"She knows your geese, and you helped her with puzzles, gave her her favorite toy and saved her doll," Peeta said softly. "That's more than enough for her. She already loves you, Haymitch. Don't be scared of her," he added. "I mean, you got us, didn't you? And we didn't turn out too bad. We're getting there. She's only just started."

Peeta stood up.

"You should call Effie. Check on them," he offered. "Even if you don't want to be involved it might help the nightmares, knowing they're there."

He followed Katniss out of the house, closing the door with a quiet click, and Haymitch hated how reasonable he sounded.

* * *

It kept ringing.

Haymitch kept the phone close to his ear, not quite sure about what he'd say if someone actually picked it up; he had stayed on the couch for a few more hours until he decided Peeta was ultimately right — the boy often was, anyway.

He leaned against the wall, sighing loudly as it rang once more. No one was home, then. Effie had always been outgoing so that couldn't have changed that much. Still, it was late enough that he had thought she'd be home by now. It was a weekday — or so he thought — and that meant school night, right? She wouldn't be out late, not with a little kid, anyway…

He had just about given up when a tiny voice reached his ears.

"Hello?"

He pressed the phone even closer to his ear now.

"Amabella?" he asked, although he knew exactly it was her.

"Yes?" the tiny voice asked again, too suspicious to have recognized his own.

Somehow, this fact was almost painful for him.

"It's… It's Daddy, Amabella," Haymitch said, the word still foreign to him.

"Hi, Daddy!" she said excitedly, now recognizing him. It brought a smile to his lips.

"Hey, kid," he said. "Where's your mommy?"

"She is right in front of me," Amabella said. "I think she wants to talk to you."

That seemed unlikely, somehow. Haymitch frowned. "Really? How are you doing?"

"I'm good! We raced to the phone and I won," she said matter-of-factly. "I won a star at school today, and Mommy made pancakes. They were good!"

Haymitch snorted. "What, is it not always good?"

Amabella giggled. "Not  _always_ … Daddy, Mommy really wants to talk to you! Bye!"

He barely had time to say goodbye and fully comprehend the feelings that came with hearing his child's voice like that. She  _was_  his child. He still wasn't used to that.

"Hello, Haymitch."

Now,  _that_  voice he was sure he would never forget.

"Sweetheart," he greeted her, now faced with the truth behind the phone call. "How are you two doing?"

"We're well, thank you," Effie said guardly. "Sorry, I was expecting a call from Annie, and Bella just loves answering the phone for me."

"It's fine. I wanted to speak to her too," he said. "Had a safe journey home?"

"Do you mean last week? Yes, we did," she told him. "It was uneventful."

He nodded, although she couldn't see it. He wasn't sure of what to say and, apparently, neither was Effie, because there was silence on the other end of the line.

"How is she?" he asked at last.

There was a pause before Effie spoke.

"She's doing well," she answered. "She, ah, made you a drawing. It's of your house, and the village. You have a very long beard in it, for some reason."

"Another masterpiece, then," he joked.

Effie let out a laugh. "Precisely."

Another pause.

"Is there a purpose to this call, Haymitch?" She finally asked.

He breathed out slowly. "Just thought I'd check on you, that's all."

He heard a sigh.

"Haymitch, I'd… I'd rather you didn't," her voice was quiet; he figured Amabella wasn't around her anymore. "She was all excited last week, she told  _everyone_ , and you're not around anymore. I don't… I don't want to give her false expectations."

"It's always all or nothing with you, Effie," he sighed into the phone.

"It is and it will be, at least until you've made a decision," Effie said sternly. "Although I suspect you have already made one. It's her bedtime now. I should go," she added. "I'm sorry, Haymitch."

She did sound sorry, and that somehow made it all worse.

He rubbed his eyes tiredly.

"I'm sorry too, Effie."

The line went dead.

* * *

Effie listened distractedly as Amabella spoke; it was Friday, and she had been allowed to take a toy to preschool, as children could once a month — she had chosen Wilma the doll, and Effie suspected Bunny had been ignored because she simply did not wish to share it with anyone else.

As they walked home hand in hand from school — Effie holding Amabella's bag and Amabella holding Wilma — Effie decided to call Haymitch. She mentally vowed to do so, in fact; after his call earlier that week, he hadn't said a thing, and Peeta and Katniss had been very quiet about him during their weekly call as well. Effie felt that she had been too hard on him, perhaps — even if he called, surely having a father by phone was better than not having a father at all, right?

Effie knew he did care about them, or at least he did care about Amabella. And that was the most important part, anyway.

Besides, if he did decide to get involved — a possibility that felt more and more unlikely with each passing day — they were still living in Four and he would still be in Twelve. Unless something drastic occurred, Effie would decline the offer to Twelve; she did not want to expose Amabella to a father who did not care. The distance, at least, provided them an excuse. And, sometimes, excuses hurt less than the truth.

"Can we go to the playground, Mommy?" Amabella interrupted her train of thought, pointing to the park across the street.

Effie contemplated the idea.

"Let's just drop our bags home, and then we'll go," she decided; Amabella's bag from school was making her palm go numb. "We'll have ice cream too. Mommy craves it."

She gave the little girl a smile as they rounded the corner.

"Me too!" Amabella quickly agreed. "Which flavor, Mommy?"

Effie faked hard thinking. "Hmmm… Vanilla."

Amabella laughed. "No!"

"Okay, fine. Raspberry."

"No, Mommy!" Amabella giggled, delighted at the little game. "Chocolate!"

Effie laughed at her quick decision. "Again? No, we must choose another flavor. Strawberry, perhaps?"

Amabella shook her head. "Chocolate!"

"Oh, fine, chocolate it shall be," Effie faked annoyance, much to the child's amusement.

She was still laughing when she looked up, so near their apartment building now, and stopped abruptly when she saw someone standing on the steps of the building's entrance. Amabella stopped too, frowning up at Effie.

Haymitch.

He was standing up now, one hand waving weakly at them.

That drew Amabella's attention.

"It's my daddy!" She exclaimed, surprised. "Come on, Mommy!"

With a tug in her hand, Effie followed Amabella to the building's entrance, letting go of her hand once they were right in front of Haymitch and he crouched down to pick Amabella up. Effie watched the scene in surprise — the way he picked her up and gave her a kiss, the way Amabella laughed and hugged him back and waved Wilma in front of him, already chattering away about her day and everything that had happened in the two weeks since they had last seen each other.

"Sorry," Haymitch said, looking at Effie for the first time. "I know it's not  _proper_ to show up before calling, but I sort of surprised myself too."

"It's fine," Effie found herself saying, looking at the way Amabella was looking at Haymitch. "Let's go inside, then. I didn't know you knew where we lived."

Effie walked up the steps to the front door as Haymitch followed her, carrying Amabella.

"I didn't. Peeta told me," Haymitch said. "They cleared it with Plutarch and came along. They're staying at a hotel near the beach."

"Oh, that's just  _lovely_. A belated honeymoon, then?" Effie asked, only mildly curious.

"Daddy, I drew you  _stuff_!" Amabella announced as Effie opened the door to the building. "Your house! And, and the village, and the fountain too!"

"So you remembered everything," Haymitch humored her, following Effie inside. "Did you remember the geese?"

Amabella nodded seriously. "I forgot just one because he wouldn't fit the picture, and Mommy said she was more important than the goose and she should be in it too."

Effie threw glance over her shoulder, glaring slightly at Amabella, but the child only had eyes for Haymitch, who was smirking in her direction.

"Yeah? Did you draw your mom with the geese then?"

Effie rolled her eyes, barely paying attention to their chat as she walked to the elevator; Amabella was still clinging to Haymitch's neck and telling him everything she could think of when they left on their floor, and Effie smiled at the little girl, smoothing down her hair softly as she told Haymitch about school and the latest thing she had learned.

It was easy to avoid Haymitch's gaze.

He let Amabella on the floor when Effie opened the apartment's door, and the little girl had already darted away, no doubt to try and find the drawings she had made. Effie took off her coat and smiled tightly at Haymitch, who stood by the doorway, looking uneasy.

Well. Served him right, for turning up uninvited.

"Do come in, Haymitch," she told him softly. "Make yourself at home. Would you like something to drink?"

He shook his head. "No, I'm good. I just left Annie's place."

"I hope Katniss and Peeta will grace us with their presence for a day, at least," she commented, walking towards the living area, which was adjacent to the kitchen, feeling Haymitch's eyes on the back of her head. "It's the least I can do after we stayed there for a week," she added, walking towards the couch and putting Amabella's school bag there, just for now. Her fingers were still a little numb. When she turned, Haymitch was looking around. Effie picked up three crayons from the floor, along with some papers that had been thrown on the coffee table."I'm sorry, it's not exactly tidy. We weren't expecting visitors."

Haymitch smirked. "It's fine. Your house still looks fucking flawless, Princess."

"I wouldn't use that word, but thank you," she cringed. "And language, please. You're lucky she didn't hear you."

It was Haymitch's turn to cringe. "Busted," he shoved his hands in his pockets. "Sorry, I should have called you to let you know I was coming. I just wanted to drop by today, see how you're doing."

Effie nodded. "We're doing fine," she crossed her arms in front of her and cleared her throat. "How long are you staying?"

"Just the weekend," he told her. "The kids were coming anyway and Plutarch thought I'd be enough distraction for the press."

Effie let out a chuckle. "Who's Plutarch trying to fool?" she bent down to adjust a cushion on the sofa, just as the sound of tiny feet reached their ears, and Amabella ran into the living room, holding a drawing and a box.

"Here, Daddy," she said, shoving the box in Haymitch's hands in a not so gentle way that made Effie groan. "I even chose it for you. But Mommy bought it."

Effie sat on the arm of the sofa, watching as Haymitch opened the box and Amabella anxiously waited in front of him, still holding the drawing. She couldn't help but laugh when Haymitch took the pink glass jar out of the box, a very blank expression on his face; she knew for a fact that he hated pink.

"Your swear jar!" Amabella exclaimed, unable to contain herself now.

Haymitch looked conflicted, to say the least, and threw a glare in her direction. Effie only smiled.

"Thanks, munchkin," he said at last. "That's  _exactly_  what I wanted."

Amabella didn't mind or notice the sarcastic tone, and Effie only rolled her eyes.

"This is my drawing!" she said, handing him the paper, a little finger pointing at it. "This is me, and you, and Mommy, and all the geese! Except the one that didn't fit."

"This looks…  _just_ like my house," Haymitch exaggerated. "Thanks. You should have painted your mom in red, though. She looks great in red."

Amabella frowned. "What's wrong with pink? We love pink."

"Of course you do," Haymitch mumbled. "I'm gonna put this on my fridge so I can look at it every day."

This brought a smile to Amabella's face. "I can make loads more if you want!"

This was the last straw for Effie. "Not now, darling. We were going to the playground, remember? And I didn't forget about the ice cream."

Amabella frowned. "Is my daddy coming with us?"

Effie looked uncertainly at Haymitch. "If he wants to."

"Sure, I'm coming with you," he said, surprisingly quickly. "I like ice cream too."

Amabella quickly took Haymitch's free hand and started guiding him back towards the hall. "Are you gonna pick vanilla, Daddy?"

Haymitch left his presents at the coffee table and let the little girl guide him. "Who even picks vanilla? Of course I ain't picking vanilla."

Effie rolled her eyes. And there were times when her daughter was a baby that she had wondered if Amabella had even taken anything from Haymitch.

How mistaken she was.

* * *

Amabella's laughter rang in the air as Effie watched her and Haymitch from the bench — they had had ice cream together, the two of them devouring it very quickly, and now found themselves in the playground near the village by mid afternoon. Effie was still eating her own ice cream — she wasn't very anxious about it and would rather savour it, especially when she didn't necessarily have to play with Amabella today. She was also trying to give them some time — she did not know exactly what for, to know each other, maybe? — so she opted to sit on the bench and watch as Haymitch pushed Amabella on the swing. They had abandoned that and were now drawing on the sand with a stick. Whatever it was that Haymitch had drawn must have been very funny because the little girl was still laughing about it.

She couldn't keep her baby girl from him now even if she wanted to. It was clear how captivated Amabella was by him — the way her eyes twinkled and how she was laughing so freely. Effie herself didn't remember ever laughing like that. She couldn't protect her forever. And maybe… maybe Haymitch would help her. Maybe he had decided to be involved in some way. She'd take it — in any way.

Effie watched as they abandoned the sandbox and Amabella ran towards the slide and climbed up the ladder. Haymitch stood up, meaning to follow her, but his gaze met Effie's, and he waved his hand slightly, a half-smile on his lips. Effie waved back and smiled encouragingly. This was new territory for the both of them.

Amabella sat down on the top of the slide and waited for Haymitch to get there — Effie knew for a fact that the child was always a little afraid of heights. She watched as Haymitch spoke to her, and Amabella clearly wasn't feeling brave enough to go on, until Haymitch offered her his hand and she slid down carefully, her free hand gripping the side of the slide as she went, but smiling when she reached the ground. She hadn't tried the slide from the playground yet, so this was clearly a big accomplishment to her. How a child could love swings but not feel confident on the slide was beyond Effie's comprehension, but she went along with it.

"Did you see me, Mommy?" Amabella yelled from where they were, and that alone was Effie's cue to stand up and go to them. She stopped to throw her now empty ice cream cup into the trash and followed them. The playground was mostly empty, saved for two small children and a mother near the sandbox, but she did not need to make a scene by speaking so loudly.

"I did!" Effie said as she walked the short distance between them, glad to have switched to flat shoes before leaving the apartment. "See? I told you it wasn't so bad."

Amabella nodded. "My daddy helped me!"

Effie tried hard not to laugh — Amabella had been nothing but possessive towards Haymitch. He was never just 'daddy' when she mentioned him; he was always  _her_ daddy. And Haymitch was obviously still getting used to it, because she had caught the shocked look on his face at least three times already.

"Do you think you can do it again without help?" Effie asked, reaching for her hands so Amabella could stand up.

"I'll try," she said, filled with courage now, apparently. She turned around to reach the ladder once more.

Effie met Haymitch's gaze. He appeared deep in thought for a moment. "Is everything alright?"

Haymitch nodded. "Yeah. Fine."

"I don't think I can do it," Amabella interrupted them. She was sitting on the top again, looking down with some uneasiness. The slide was tall enough that it reached Effie's ears.

"Come on, I'll help you," Effie offered her hand. Amabella still looked hesitant. Effie watched as her eyes searched for Haymitch. "Mommy can help you, darling."

"Your mom is on that side, and I'm here," Haymitch caught Amabella's free hand. "Think you can slide down with both hands with us and not touch the slide? That's pretty cool."

Amabella pursed her lips, looking from Haymitch to Effie. "Okay."

And she did slide down easily, though the grip on Effie's hand was pretty tight. After two more rounds of that, she announced she would try on her own, and she succeeded much to the enthusiastic applause of Effie — she caught Haymitch looking at her, amused, and when Amabella giggled he actually complimented her on her accomplishment. She did that a few more times before returning to the swing, which was  _always_ her favorite.

Since Haymitch was pushing her, Effie decided to sit on the other available seat in the swing, not really moving.

"Don't push her too high, Haymitch," Effie requested, and he complied. "You know, we didn't have playgrounds like this in the Capitol when I was growing up."

"Where did you play, Mommy?" Amabella asked as Haymitch pushed her, her hair flying around in pigtails.

"We had playgrounds, but they were… bigger. There were castles, and some little houses," she elaborated, remembering the few times she went to one. "No swings or slides, I'm afraid. And no sand. My mother would have died if I came home covered in sand like you do all the time."

Amabella laughed. "Were the castles big?"

Effie nodded. "Quite big. But not this fun."

"I had a swing when I was a kid," Haymitch said suddenly, and Effie looked at him in surprise. "It was pretty small. Just a seat tied into a tree branch. It broke after a snowstorm, but it was fun."

"You had a  _swing_ in your house?" Amabella asked, clearly in awe.

He smirked. "It wasn't as nice as this one, I assure you."

Effie smiled a little sadly, understanding what he meant. There had hardly been many luxuries in Twelve, and probably very few for Haymitch, who was raised by his single mother after his dad died when he was very young. A swing probably brought him happy memories, however few they might be. And it was not often that Haymitch talked about his childhood. Not for the first time, Effie wondered what he had looked like as a little boy.

"We should get a swing, Mommy, for the terrace!" Amabella suggested.

Effie smiled softly. "We don't have enough room for a swing, darling. I'm sorry."

"Oh," Amabella said, clearly disappointed. Haymitch stopped pushing her.

"I got a backyard," he mentioned, looking at the little girl with attention. "I could talk to Peeta. Maybe we can build one. Can't be too hard, right?"

Amabella looked up at him quickly. "Really, Daddy?"

"I can't promise it, but I'll try. So you can always play when you visit me," he said, only then looking at Effie. "That okay, Sweetheart?"

"Yes, it's okay," she agreed after a moment, a little unsure of what this meant.

She felt a little overwhelmed at how attentive he was being, but reminded herself that this was just the beginning.

She didn't miss Haymitch's smirk as he looked at her.

"You hear Mommy saying she's never played on a swing before?" he asked Amabella, who nodded. "I think we should push her. What do you think?"

The little girl was on her feet immediately. "Yes!"

"Oh, no. No, this is not proper," Effie started, but Amabella was already moving. "I'm too old for this!"

"Let's push her real high," she heard Haymitch saying, and when she looked over her shoulder she saw him standing right behind her. "Take your feet off the ground, Princess."

" _Really_ , Haymitch," she said, but did as she was told. She felt Haymitch holding the ropes that held the seat up. "I'm way past the age for—oh!"

Before she knew it, Haymitch had pulled her seat back and then pushed it forward, and she did go  _pretty_ high, for her standards anyway; Amabella was laughing and jumping next to the swing, and Effie laughed at her. It took her about three seconds to decide this was much, much more fun than castles and little houses and tea parties.

"No one's past the age for this," Haymitch smirked. "Think my mom was the most heartbroken of us all when that storm destroyed the swing."

"Higher, Daddy!" Amabella asked, clapping her little hands.

Haymitch actually laughed this time. "Do you want to send your mom flying?"

"Okay, it's enough now. I mean it, Haymitch," Effie warned him softly, and the swing slowly came to a stop. Her own laughter slowly came to a stop as well. "It's getting late; we should get going."

"But I want to go to the slide again!" Amabella quickly complained.

"Go on, then, just for a little bit," Effie warned her, and she was off running in less than two seconds. "Be careful!"

"For someone who was scared of going up the slide she's pretty over it," Haymitch commented.

Effie let out a laugh. "She really is."

She heard his steps coming closer and soon saw him towering behind her, his hands grabbing at the ropes again.

Effie looked up at him. "You helped her with that, I think," she commented. "I'm, um, happy you've accompanied us."

"No problem. She's a good kid," Haymitch said, one of his hands rubbing at his neck.

Effie bit down a smile. "She's so precious," she said, then looked at him again. "Why are you really here, Haymitch?"

He pursed his lips. "I'd like to talk to you, Effie."

That was what she had been hoping for — or fearing, she wasn't quite sure.

"Do you want to come back home with us?" she found herself asking. "Just… for dinner, perhaps. Although that's not until later. She needs her bath, and then she needs to do her homework…"

"Sounds good to me. I can help her with homework," he then cringed. "If I even know what she's learning about."

Effie bit back a smile, though it was good-naturedly; she knew he had stopped going to school when he was sixteen. "She connects dots and learns the alphabet, and other words. I think you can handle it."

"What the hell does she need to connect dots for?" Haymitch asked with a frown.

Effie laughed. "To improve her motor skills. Really, Haymitch, I think you have a lot to learn."

He didn't appear offended, though. His eyes were twinkling.

She always did love his eyes.

"Ow!"

Effie straightened up in her seat, quickly focusing on Amabella, who had fallen on her hands and knees, probably while she tried to run much too fast for her little legs to carry her. Effie was on her feet in a matter of seconds, hoping that this wasn't a very nasty fall, but she hurried to her daughter all the same. When Amabella started crying just a moment later, this proved to be the opposite.

"Here, baby," Effie said as she reached the little girl, crouching down to help her up. She noticed the bruises on her little palms and the scraped skin on her knees. "It was just a scare. Mommy will clean it and kiss it to make it better soon."

"Mommy," Amabella mumbled, tears running down her face.

"I know, I know," Effie said, hugging her softly and kissing her brow. "It was just a scare. Mommy is here. We're going home now."

Amabella sniffed, rubbing at her eye with the back of a scraped hand. She looked up at Haymitch, who looked a little concerned. "Is Daddy going away now?"

"Daddy is coming with us," Effie said firmly. "We'll have dinner together. That's nice, isn't it?"

Amabella nodded. "Can Daddy carry me?"

Effie snorted. "You can still walk, young lady."

"No, it's fine," Haymitch said, offering the child his arms. "C'mere, little Princess."

Amabella reached for him, and soon settled into his arms. Effie ran a hand through her daughter's locks of her and gave her a knowing smile.

"I think someone's probably tired," she commented, meeting Haymitch's questioning gaze. "She gets cranky when she's exhausted. Despite protests, it's always like that," she explained. Haymitch still looked concerned. "She's fine, Haymitch. It was just a fall."

Haymitch groaned something she did not quite catch, and they started the short walk towards their apartament. Amabella was quite content in Haymitch's arms, and Effie was ready to bet her buttons that Haymitch would definitely feel it in his muscles the next day the exercise of carrying a child around, however short the walk was.

—

Effie found Haymitch in the living room, with a picture frame in his hand. She knew that it was a picture of herself and her daughter at the park — taken by Annie. Amabella had been just about six months old.

She had been just fine by the time they had gotten back from the park, as it was — the scraped knees had been completely forgotten by the time Effie had managed to give her a bath. Now clean, Amabella was currently playing in the bathtub, probably managing to soak the entire bathroom; it wasn't something Effie allowed very often, but she figured the little girl could use some playtime in order to let the adults properly talk, even if it was only for a bit.

"Wasn't she the cutest baby?" Effie asked as Haymitch put the picture back to its place. "She drove me crazy. It doesn't look like much, but she was already crawling a little and I couldn't leave her alone for one minute."

Haymitch rolled his eyes. "You love being driven crazy, admit it. You love having to control everything."

"Perhaps," she admitted, crossing her arms. He took the next picture frame in his hand. "That one is from her first birthday. It was just us and Annie and Jo. It wasn't much."

There was almost a smile on Haymitch's face. "Looks fun."

"I'd have loved to have thrown her a big party. Make it an event," Effie commented. "That's how I used to envision my children's birthdays, anyway, when I was younger. But I didn't really know a lot of people in the district and it wasn't like she'd have had a lot of fun in a big party. She was just starting to walk, so I was glad to have Jo and Annie to walk her around."

Haymitch nodded, setting the portrait back.

"This year's birthday should be different," she continued. "She's in preschool now so she'll probably want to invite all her friends. A proper party, I hope."

"I'd like to be there, if I can," Haymitch said quickly, pursing his lips.

Effie was slightly taken aback by the statement.

"Well, yes, of course," she said, "if you want to."

"That's my decision, Effie," he said at last. "I'd like to be involved."

Effie took a step towards him, a frown on her face.

"What are you saying, Haymitch?"

"I'm saying that I wanna be her dad," he told her. "I don't know how to do it, though. It'd be nice if we could do it together. Yeah?"

Effie nodded. "Yes. Yes, sure," she smiled. "I'm very glad to hear this."

They met halfway in a slow, but honest embrace — it didn't mean anything, Effie knew, they were simply… sealing the agreement. She breathed in his scent — so different without the addition of alcohol, but still the same as it used to be — and felt relief flood her veins.

"I mean it, Sweetheart," Haymitch said against her hair. "I'm gonna fuck up eventually, but it won't be because I'm not there."

Effie laughed, and felt tears pick at her eyes. "I think I've been waiting to hear this for years."

He pulled away slightly. "Ain't this the part where you reassure me I won't fuck up?"

She sniffed, and laughed again. "Oh, we'll both do that. That's just what parents do, I suppose."

A lone tear escaped her eye and ran down her cheek, but Haymitch caught it — eyes gazing right back at hers, and there was something in them she couldn't decipher.

"You still got that job offer? To Twelve?" he asked.

Effie frowned, confused. "Yes. I mean, I still haven't answered them."

"Well, I…"

"Mommy, I'm done!"

Effie closed her eyes. Amabella always had  _such_ great timing.

She looked at Haymitch apologetically.

"Mommy!" Amabella yelled again.

"Not very patient, is she?" Haymitch asked in a low voice.

Effie narrowed her eyes. "I wonder where she gets that from," she pulled away from him. "Just a minute, Bella."

It only took a while to get Amabella dried and dressed in her pyjamas — pink with little ducklings on them, because she thought Daddy would like it — and it led to an eventful evening that consisted on Haymitch helping Amabella with homework, and then receiving a tour of the apartment by the little girl, who wanted to show him her chicken and all her toys. Effie made dinner — she wasn't one to try a lot in the kitchen, but she supposed Haymitch being there for the first time was a special enough occasion.

She made frittata, which in Haymitch's opinion was good but also just a fancy name for an omelette that was supposed to be breakfast food, not dinner — he was teasing, and Effie didn't mind; her glare at him made Amabella laugh, but she forgave him when he commented that breakfast food had always been his favorite.

It was nice to spend time together like this. As a family.

She supposed that was what they were now.

After dinner, it was time for the little girl to go to bed, amid protests; Haymitch offered to tuck her in and, after promising he'd see her tomorrow, she accepted.

She had been organizing the kitchen when she realized half an hour had passed and she heard nothing from Haymitch or Amabella. Thus, she went to check.

Haymitch was sitting on a puffy chair next to Amabella's bed, and the girl was already fast asleep. He had a book on his lap — Effie recognized it as the ballerina princess book, Amabella's current favorite — and he was simply watching her.

Effie felt a little emotional all of sudden.

She leaned against the doorway, crossed her arms, and cleared her throat. The bedroom was already dark, the only source of light coming from the pink lamp in the corner, but to his credit Haymitch only looked up, and did not look surprised to see her.

They had a lot to talk about. Privately.

"Sorry. Lost track of time," Haymitch whispered, standing up.

It was funny, really, how someone as rude as Haymitch could be so soft around his daughter. Not that he was rude all the time, but… He wasn't really the softest of men.

It made Effie smile.

"Did she fall asleep alright?" she asked, stepping into the bedroom and quietly smoothing Amabella's hair from her face. The little girl looked peaceful. She had had a big day.

"Yeah," Haymitch hummed, and Effie left a kiss on Amabella's forehead before stepping away.

She followed Haymitch out of the bedroom, carefully leaving the door partly open, and then she guided him back to the living room. He sat down on the couch, looking suddenly a little out of place amidst the colorful apartment and the toys scattered around the floor. Effie made a quick job of getting them all back inside the toy box — years of practice — and normally she would sit down and read a book or watch some television while drinking a glass of wine, but tonight was different.

"I'd offer you something to drink, but…"

"It's fine," he interrupted her, and she tried hard not to glare. "You can drink, though. Don't stop on my account."

She put the toy box back in its corner. "That's almost civil of you, Haymitch," she teased, and he rolled his eyes. "No, it's okay. Solidarity is important. How long have you been sober for?"

"Four months and a half," he told her. "I'm not gonna relapse, don't worry."

"I'm not worried," Effie said as she took a seat on the couch, not very close to him. "I've always thought that if you put your mind into it you could remain sober. Peeta told me you were sober, during the war."

"Yeah. Not exactly my decision," he let out a humorless laugh. "The plan was to stay sober, though."

Effie pursed her lips. "Why couldn't you?"

"I don't think many plans from before the war applied to what happened afterwards," Haymitch snickered. "No, it, uh… it was hard to cope, inside that mansion. We found you, and Katniss was a mess, and there was booze, so…"

"It was difficult to resist," she concluded, and gave him a pointed look. "I do know a thing or two about you."

Haymitch gave her lopsided grin. "Never doubted you did," he shook his head. "I won't drink again. I go to the doctor, I go to weekly meetings and all that shit. Peeta insisted," he shrugged. "Guess it helps, 'cause I haven't relapsed yet."

Effie watched him curiously. "Well, I'm glad you're getting the right treatment. It wouldn't have been good for you to just stop drinking altogether."

His eyes met hers. The grin was back on his face. "You're dying to ask, aren't you?"

Effie squirmed a little in her seat, and refused to meet his gaze. "Well, I would  _never_ ," she said, arching her eyebrows to herself and examining her nails — today they were a pretty shade of blue. Thank  _heavens_ she could still paint her nails however she wished. "Unless you want to talk about it."

Haymitch snorted, and draped his arm across the back of the couch, close to her own shoulder.

"It's fine, Sweetheart," he said after a moment, and since he didn't sound sarcastic she looked up. They shared a smile. "It was bound to happen, really. Don't know why it never did. The boy woke me up one day. I had the knife. There was a lot of blood, and Peeta snapped."

"You hurt  _Peeta_?" Effie gasped, eyes wide.

"No, not Peeta.  _Me_ ," he pointed at his own chest. "Wasn't much, but it got a bit out of control, he tried to help me, never mind how it got to that, but I ended up cutting myself. The problem was the whole thing, the blood and the boy… he was out of himself for hours. Even Katniss couldn't help at first."

"So you decided to stop drinking then," she said.

Haymitch nodded. "Yeah, more or less. The girl was pretty vocal about how it was my fault and, well, at least this time I did it the right way. Thirteen was  _terrible_ , let me tell you."

Effie pursed her lips, but nodded sympathetically. "I'm sure it was."

They were silent for a moment.

"I should probably…"

"What did you…"

They stopped speaking. Effie looked at him expectantly. Haymitch spoke first — it wasn't like he was a gentleman.

"I was gonna say I should go. It's getting late and I don't exactly have a key to Annie's house."

Effie blinked.

"What did you want to know when you asked about my job offer?"

Haymitch appeared anxious. He pursed her lips.

Effie didn't have time to prepare for his question.

"Would you move to Twelve?"

She hesitated.

"I wanted to ask you, so many times before," he ran his fingers through his hair. "I never did. I'm asking now, Effie."

She opened her mouth, and closed. She thought about it. She knew her answer.

"If… If that's the best for Amabella," she replied, not really looking at him. "You know I would, it would be good for her if…"

"I'm not asking for her, Effie. Or, at least, not just for her," he corrected himself. "I'm asking  _you_. And I don't mean so you can come and get a house so the kid can have a kitten and more chickens. I… I mean, I already have a house. We can get the kitten."

Effie arched her eyebrows. "Are you asking me to move in with you?"

"No, I'm asking the _two of you_  to live with me."

Effie blinked, completely taken aback now.

"I… Well… We would need to redecorate," she mentioned dumbly. "Amabella should get one of the suites. She will want it pink," she warned him.

Haymitch raised his palms up. "Fine by me."

"We'll need to talk about the kitten, though," she added. "That is something I'm still not confident about, because you know she won't take care of it, she just wants to play."

"That's a yes, then?"

"To the kitten? I just told you it's most likely a no."

"To moving in with me, Effie."

She sighed. "I did tell you I'd have said yes if you had asked," she gave him a look. "That hasn't changed."

He kissed her before she could realize what was happening.

It took her a moment to kiss him back.

It felt like it had been years, decades since they had kissed, even — she smiled against his lips and encircled her arms around his neck, bringing him closer. His hands were at her waist and it felt like they belong there, like they should have never left her body to begin with.

It wasn't enough to make her brain stop, though.

"Haymitch… Haymitch," she said, breaking the kiss. His hair was already in complete disarray. Had she done that? "We should go slow. I want this transition to go as smoothly as possible for Bella."

"Yeah, of course. She comes first," he quickly agreed, moving to kiss her jaw. His beard felt rough against her skin, but in a good way.

"She does. Always," Effie agreed. She ran her fingers through his hair. "We shouldn't. We're  _parents_  now."

Haymitch chuckled against her throat, and Effie shivered. "Pretty sure this is how we became parents, Sweetheart."

"It's not about that," Effie pursed her lips. "We can't really have what we had before, Haymitch. There are enough strings attached without us having sex."

"Exactly," Haymitch said, pulling away. "Come on, Effie. Stop pretending we won't happen again because you know we will. We always do," he said quietly. The worst was that he did have a point. "It's time we did something about it."

She looked at him, trying to control her breathing. Amabella didn't deserve to be dragged into this mess that they were. Living together would be enough of a change for her.

"Look," Haymitch let out a breath. "I'll go. We don't have to… You can have your own house in Twelve if you want to. It's not a big deal."

He didn't sound as secure as he did before.

Effie raised her hands to smooth his shirt softly around the shoulders.

"Isn't it a big deal?" she eyed him slowly. He leaned forward, kissing her neck softly, moving to her ear. "I… We should do something about it, I agree. But not here, Haymitch."

He sighed dejectedly, and rested his head against her shoulder.

"Fine, I'm leaving."

Effie giggled, as quietly as she could. "No, I mean, stay. But we can't have sex on the couch with our daughter right down the hall," she kissed his neck slowly, her tongue touching his pulse point ever so slightly. She knew he loved that. "Let's go to bed."

She let go of him and offered her hand — he took it. It wasn't long before he was pressed against her back and they were walking slowly to her bedroom. When she closed the door, he backed her up against it — how many times had they done that in the past? — but only enough for her to turn the key and successfully lock themselves inside. They couldn't risk an interruption.

It was only much later that Effie unlocked the door again — when she was leaving the bathroom, wrapped in a silky robe, and Haymitch was snoring on her bed, only in his boxers. This time, when she looked at herself in the mirror, she didn't regret it.

She smiled.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Only one chapter left! I gotta say I rewrote this one like three times before considering it done. Not sure I love it, but I hope you guys liked it! Let me know!
> 
> Next chapter: we jump a few months into the future and see what's going on with the Trinket-Abernathy family :)


	12. The List

**Chapter 12: The List**

_8 months later_

"Meg! Meg, Meg, Meg!" Amabella called as soon as Haymitch opened the door for her - it was the first snowfall of winter, and they had spent enough time playing around snow in between school and home. If Haymitch was cold, he was pretty sure Amabella was completely freezing.

Meg, the little kitten they had adopted just a few weeks ago, appeared from the dining room doorway, and Amabella ran to her, not bothering to take off her coat or her scarf or her hat. Haymitch shook his head as he heard the little girl coo at the kitten from the doorway.

"We gotta do homework, Bella," he reminded her as he took off his scarf and went to the fireplace, intent to add some logs into the fire that was still working since he had left home to pick the little girl from school. "Your mom's gonna be mad if she finds out we took so long to come home  _and_ that you haven't done your homework yet."

"But it's Friday, Daddy," Amabella told him as she picked Meg up. The kitten whined, a little bothered by the fact, but was otherwise quiet in her arms. "We have the  _whole_ weekend to do homework."

She raised her little gray eyes at him and pouted.

Damn, the girl was just like her mother.

"Fine, but I expect no whining on Sunday evening," Haymitch told her seriously as Amabella jumped excitedly. "And no telling Mommy you beat me at our snowball fight."

He sat on the couch, feeling pretty much exhausted and happy the kids would be hosting dinner tonight. There was only so much cooking Effie could do and he could stand, and he had already spent half the day helping Peeta at the bakery and painting yet another guest room upstairs. Effie and Amabella moved in months ago, but it appeared that the redecorating was still going as strong as ever.

It was fine by him. He knew Effie had plans to make that guest room into her own private office. It helped that you could hardly hear the geese - and the chicken - from there.

He didn't mind the renovations; he wasn't going to admit it, but it felt refreshing. He had never bothered changing any of the furniture in thirty years, and to see the house being changed and lived in - it made him happy. He didn't even mind the toys scattered all around the place - only when he stepped on a block because _hell did those things hurt_  - or the kitten or the chicken. Amabella was happy.

She giggled as she threw herself against him. She had lost a tooth the week before, her first, and he couldn't help but find the look on her incredibly funny - and cute. "But I won! I have to tell her!"

Haymitch groaned dramatically. "Your mom probably wouldn't like the idea of a snowball fight in the middle of the square very much," he told her seriously. He kissed her temple softly against the hat and patted her leg. "Come on, munchkin. If you stay in that coat you're gonna be soaked."

"Like yours? Because of how much snow I threw at you?" Amabella asked, standing up and slowly unbuttoning her coat, which was a little difficult with her gloves still on. Meg, now free to wander wherever she wanted to, took off without so much as a glance towards them.

Effie complained about the cold constantly. Amabella was still too excited about it to care.

"Yep, like mine. You are a vicious little thing," Haymitch said, reaching to help her with the coat. "Just like your mommy."

The last comment was thrown quietly, as an afterthought, but he froze when he noticed Effie on the bottom of the stairs, crossing her arms and looking like she had heard a lot of the conversation.

"Now I'm vicious," she complained, and Amabella turned around, surprised at the voice. "Really, Haymitch, your adjectives get better every day."

"Mommy!" the child ran towards her, and Haymitch knew she was a true sight, with flushed cheeks and bright eyes and unbuttoned coat.

Effie smiled, though. "Hello, my darling," she kissed Amabella's cheek and immediately reached for the coat. "This is already soaked. Did you  _roll_ on the snow while having a snowball fight?"

Amabella giggled, exchanging a look with Haymitch. "Maybe. I won, Mommy!"

"Did you, really? Against your father?" Effie asked, taking off the coat from Amabella and the hat too. Her eyes were bright as she looked at Haymitch. "You know your daddy is the champion of snowball fights around here."

"Really?"

Haymitch stood up. "That's because your mom never had a snowball fight. Bet you two could take me any day."

"Oh, no. No, I'm not a  _savage_ ," Effie shook her head, leaning forward as he approached her and met his lips in a kiss. "Hi."

"Hey," he greeted her, slipping an arm around her waist. She was wearing one of his sweaters over her tights. "You're home early."

"I thought I'd surprise you," she smiled against his lips, then turned to look down at their daughter, who was taking off her boots now - and leaving everything wherever they fell. "But then you two surprise me with snowball fights.  _Really_. Two children. I'm raising two children."

"I think we should beat Daddy at a snowball fight, Mommy," Amabella said matter-of-factly. "If I won alone,  _no one_  could stop us!"

Effie laughed. "Alright. Maybe tomorrow. We have a lot to do today," she looked pointedly at Haymitch. " _Homework_ , and dinner with Katniss and Peeta, and…"

"I've painted the guest room," Haymitch offered. "One step ahead of you, Sweetheart."

"I've seen it, and you've done a wonderful job so far," Effie said patiently.

"So far? It's pretty much finished."

"We'll need one more layer of paint, really, Haymitch, surely you've noticed," she rolled her eyes. "No, but December is almost here, and we need to do our Christmas decorations, of course!"

Amabella jumped up. "Can I help, Mommy?"

Haymitch sighed. Of course the kid loved Christmas decorations.

His house had never seen one single Christmas decoration in thirty years.

"We have a big box filled with them," Effie told Haymitch. "You can relax. It's regular stuff. Boots, and lights. We will need a tree, though."

Amabella gasped. "Are we getting a  _real_ tree this year?"

"If your father doesn't mind getting one," Effie said, and both girls looked at him with the same pleading expression on their faces.

He could hardly say no.

"Sure. I'll get us one."

"Yes!" Amabella clapped her little hands, then looked concerned. "I need to start my list!"

"Less than thirty items this year, darling, please," Effie reminded her, and the little girl was running away a second later, only stopping to pick Meg again, who had decided to show up once more.

Haymitch frowned.

"List?"

"Her Christmas list. For Santa," Effie told him, arms encircling his neck. She gave him a kiss. He was still confused by the idea of a list and barely responded. "Of the things she wants for Christmas. I'm sorry. I forget you didn't really have that growing up."

It was true - Christmas had never been much of a thing when he was growing up. They were too poor to have anything fancy - the most his mother would do was to make them a decent meal. He couldn't even remember getting a Christmas present before he met Effie.

He knew she absolutely loved Christmas. It was only natural that this love would pass on to their daughter.

"It's fine, Princess," he held her waist, and his free hand caressed her jaw in the softest of touches. "Thirty items, eh?"

She laughed. "Don't worry. They go from the most expensive toy being advertised to Mommy spending a whole day away from work."

"I get both items, to be honest," he joked, kissing her neck.

It wasn't always easy, the transition - not for them, and not for Amabella. She could be possessive of Effie in certain occasions, and he was reminded of the years they spent without him. And he and Effie, they clashed - often. About anything and everything. Most of the time, the arguments were for the sake of the argument, and they'd be able to find a quick solution that worked for the both of them. Other times, they were serious.

But they were learning as they went, and so far they were doing well enough.

* * *

Effie listened as Haymitch told Katniss and Peeta of their latest meeting with Amabella's teacher - the child also had his attention, as she was the subject of the matter, and the little girl was far too clever for her own good. This was their normal now - once or twice a week, they'd have dinner or lunch at Katniss and Peeta's house. A couple more times at Haymitch's house.  _Their_ house.

It made her smile every time she thought about it. Never in her deepest thought she had imagined this would be their future.

Her little team, together. Alive.

"She can write and read everything," Haymitch said, pointing at Amabella, "and the teacher tells me she's too relaxed in class.  _Relaxed_. Because she knows all the answers without having to think about it. Give me a break."

Effie huffed. "It's not about that. She wants Amabella to feel challenged, not bored."

"I'd be bored if I had to guess how duck is spelled every day," Haymitch rolled his eyes, and did not bother talking with food in his mouth.

Effie shivered.

Amabella giggled.

"Haymitch, no one wants to know what's in your mouth," she gave him a pointed look, then looked at Peeta and Katniss. "Anyway, that's why she must do her homework and she must attend every class. So she won't be bored."

"Will they make her skip years or something?" Peeta asked.

"Oh, no, it's not like that. She's very bright, of course," Effie smiled at Amabella, who was happily eating beside her. "Haymitch just got very interested in her education and he taught her a lot before her time. Her classmates are a little behind," she explained, taking a sip of the wine in front of her. "The teacher was actually scolding Haymitch, not Amabella. That's why he's so annoyed by it."

Haymitch groaned, and Peeta and Katniss laughed.

"Either way, she's going to try to work on that Christmas list all by herself this year, aren't you, darling?" Effie asked, and Amabella nodded. "Really, it's a blessing. I had to help her with that last year, and there were too many items to write."

"I only have one thing this year, Mommy," Amabella interrupted her.

Both Effie and Haymitch frowned. "Just one?"

"Well, two," she took a sip of her juice and looked at Katniss and Peeta with entirely too much innocence. "I want Buttercup to teach Meg how to hunt!"

Katniss laughed. "You can have him as much as you want, kid."

"Uh, we don't need Meg bringing us dead mice," Haymitch said, shaking his head. "That's a no, Bella. Santa can't make Buttercup teach Meg anything."

Katniss shrugged and winked at the child. "She'll probably learn by herself anyway."

Amabella huffed. "Fine. I'll just ask for a baby, then."

Effie had been in the middle of drinking wine, and nearly choked on it. She coughed, and Haymitch patted her back reassuringly.

"You want another baby doll, little Princess?" he asked distractedly.

He did not get it.

"No, I want a baby. A  _real_ one," Amabella explained. "Tilly has a baby sister now. But I don't even mind if it's a brother instead of a sister."

Effie watched as Peeta and Katniss exchanged an awkward look, and cleared her throat.

Haymitch looked positively confused.

"I'm sorry," Effie said to everyone, feeling the need to apologize for the coughing fit. She turned her attention to Amabella. "Darling, babies take time to arrive. You can't ask for one just a month before Christmas."

"I know. I don't mind waiting," Amabella said, as if that was the most obvious thing. "It can be a baby brother, Mommy. I'd like a sister but I don't even mind if it's a boy," she repeated.

Because that made  _so_ much difference.

Effie fidgetted a little in her seat. "We will talk about this later, okay? The two of us and Daddy."

"Daddy will help," Amabella continued. Effie's eyes widened as she looked at Haymitch, who appeared completely speechless. She vaguely registered Katniss snickering. "You said you wanted a baby and Daddy helped you make me so now Daddy just needs to say yes and I'll get a baby sister. Or a baby brother."

How did her child get these ideas in her head?

"Yes, Daddy did help a little, but Mommy was also younger," Effie explained a little helplessly. "And this time we already have you, so we need to talk about it, okay?"

"Help  _a little_?" Haymitch huffed.

Of course that would be what he got out of the conversation.

Effie smiled sweetly at him. "As I recall, I carried her for nine months."

"As I recall, I gave you a pretty good time," Haymitch replied in the same tone.

"Okay, who wants dessert?" Peeta asked cheerfully, standing up. Katniss looked too relieved.

"I do!" Amabella was the first to say.

Subject forgotten.

Effie met Haymitch's eyes across the table.

For now.

* * *

A Friday night dinner at Katniss and Peeta's house usually meant a sleepover for Amabella, who just loved to spend time there - Peeta made her cookies and cocoa and Katniss would accompany the girl in the movies she wanted to watch, however many times she wanted, and the children also didn't mind if she brought Meg with her, because Buttercup was still too spooked by the little kitten that he usually disappeared for a few hours.

A Friday night dinner at Katniss and Peeta's house also meant a concern-free night for Haymitch and Effie.

Which was exactly why Effie deliberately didn't stop the moan from escaping her lips as she moved above Haymitch.

He was sitting up against the headboard of the bed, and she was straddling him - his fingers were digging into the flesh of her hips and his body were meeting hers in such a perfect tempo that she had to brace the headboard to properly gravitate herself towards him. Her mind was still a little fuzzy from the wine, but in a good way. She rotated her hips a little and moaned again.

"Fuck, Effie," Haymitch groaned, one of his hands leaving her waist to cup her breast.

She just loved the way he felt inside her when they moved together.

He grounded her hips to him again, and she hid her face against the crook of his neck as they met, again and again and again, until she felt the heat coil low inside her and burst suddenly - she moaned loudly, shaking on top of him, and grasped his shoulders, feeling the need to touch him, to anchor herself to him now. He followed her a minute later, spilling inside her and groaning low in her ear.

She couldn't even pretend to understand why sex with him only turned better with time.

His index finger caressed her spine and she shivered, laughing against his skin. She raised her head to meet his heavy lidded eyes and kissed him. Once, twice.

Then she returned to resting her head against his shoulder. She wriggled a little, and he slipped out of her, and she could feel the sticky mess between her thighs, but she felt too heavy to move just yet.

Effie sighed, her breathing slowly returning to normal. "I love you."

His hand curled around her nape. "Love you too, Sweetheart."

It was still a novelty to say the words - even more of a novelty to hear them back. It thrilled her, it made her want to soar with happiness - it took them so long, yet here they were.

The hand around her neck moved to her hair - probably a right mess.

Effie groaned. "We really need to move."

She felt Haymitch nod. "It's gonna be cold soon."

"Let's take a shower," she asked him, kissing the side of his neck.

Haymitch groaned. "I can't move."

She did get up, about two minutes later, amid intimate touches from a very sleepy Haymitch. She smiled against his lips as she moved to the bathroom, feeling the cold air pick at her skin - she hoped Amabella had enough blankets tonight. She trusted Peeta and Katniss, though.

She was still shivering when she entered the shower, a few minutes later, but the hot water was quick to soothe her muscles - she still yelped when Haymitch slid in, though.

"I thought you didn't want to join me," Effie commented as he pressed his chest against her back. She squirmed away. "You're too cold."

"I always want to join you, Sweetheart," he said softly. "Scoot over."

She did so, and they shared the warm water and soap and shampoo in between intimate touches - nothing that was enough to actually start anything. They weren't twenty anymore - they both needed some time to recover.

Haymitch spoke again when she was using the hair conditioner.

"We should have one."

"Have a what, dear?" she hummed, not really following his thoughts.

"A baby."

She stopped moving and gaped at him.

"You are kidding," Effie stated.

Haymitch glared at her. "Five years ago you told me you wanted a baby and I took it very seriously but when  _I_  say it it's suddenly a joke."

"You are not kidding," she said, trying to organize her thoughts. Then she registered his words. "You didn't believe me at first, either, so just stop that."

"Okay, fine," he granted.

"Good," she stated, letting the water taking the conditioner off her hair. "Do you mean it?"

Haymitch nodded, only a little slowly. "Yeah. Why not? The kid wants a baby. We're not  _that_ old to have one."

"I'm forty, Haymitch."

"You're not that old. Come on," he insisted. "Just… I hadn't thought of it before, but it would be nice, you know. To be there right from the beginning and all. It's fine if you don't want to."

He said that so casually, so normally, as she stepped aside and let him rinse the soap off his body, that Effie wasn't sure if they were actually discussing this like this. In the shower. After a busy week and a busy month and  _such_ a busy year.

"Months ago you were freaking out about being a father," she reminded him.

"Yeah, and I'm already one," he shrugged. "I love Amabella. I love being her father. That's not gonna change with one more."

"We'd lose so many hours of sleep. Amabella wouldn't have as much time with us as she does now," she listed. "We wouldn't be able to have loud sex once a week for a while."

"Then we'll just have quiet sex like we do the rest of the week. And Bella is the one who asked for a baby sibling," he reasoned, turning the shower off. "Sweetheart, it's fine if you don't want to. We already got our little girl. We don't need one more, and we can just explain it to her and that's it."

He kissed her lips quickly.

"I don't know if I can get pregnant," she told him, very seriously. "She was already a miracle as it was. I may need to go on treatment again, or maybe we would have to go to the clinic for the fertilization. It still wouldn't guarantee it would work. I'm not that young anymore."

"We barely tried the first time," Haymitch shrugged. "If we got more than three times for this one, it's a victory."

She hated how she chuckled all the same. "Stop it. I'm serious."

"I'm serious too," Haymitch said, reaching for her and encircling his arms around her waist. "We could have some fun with this. I convince the kid to ask for a doll for Christmas. And maybe by the next Christmas she'll get her baby sister."

"Or brother. It's not a problem if it's a brother," Effie reminded him. She kissed his lips. "I was lost when I had Amabella. She… She saved me."

He smiled softly at her.

"What's our reason to have another?" she asked him.

Haymitch frowned. "Do we need one? I mean, if we both want one, if the kid wants one, that's a good reason, isn't it?"

She pondered his words.

"Okay."

"Okay?" he arched his eyebrows.

She smiled.

"Okay, let's try to have a baby," she tried to keep the tone as cheerful and hopeful as she could. "But it might not happen, so let's not get ahead of ourselves."

"Sure, sure," his hands were caressing her sides in a way she knew too well. "Our project, then."

She chuckled. He kissed her again. "Yes, our project. Oh, I'll have to clear it with my doctor too."

"Uh huh."

"It's a good thing we're painting the guest rooms, we might need one of those soon."

"Effie?"

"Yes?"

"Let's get this project started."

She shouldn't have been surprised when he managed to lift her up and over his shoulder and carry her back to bed. She didn't even have the heart to complain about wetting all the sheets and about the cold and about his wet hair on her skin. She felt warmth all over - in his kisses, and his eyes, in the embrace of their child and the tentative smiles of Katniss and Peeta - but, especially, in her heart.

Maybe another smile would be added to the list next year, or maybe not.

Either way, it was nice to have someone to share this project with already.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aaand it's a wrap! I'm generally happy because I hadn't written in a while and managed to start and finish a multichapter story - maybe I'd have made it longer, but it was more of an exercise in writing than anything. Who knows, maybe I'll revisit this universe in the future. :) I'd love to know what you thought of the chapter/story! Reviews make my day and would encourage me to write more for this pairing in the future :)
> 
> Thanks so much to everyone who's read and commented!

**Author's Note:**

> Do you like it, hate it, eager to read more, meh? Tell me!


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